b3ta.com talk
Luckily B3ta sponsors Hebtro want to sell you some fantastic togs, all made in the UK, designed to last and perfect as presents for men or even yourself. BUY SOME TROUSERS
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 6724931 (Thread)

I rekon they both just pat at each other, grandually working thier way towards each other's crotches.
den dey hav sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:09, archived)
There's more flailing but that's pretty much it

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:10, archived)
*pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat *
*pat pat pat pat pat pat pat *
*pat pat pat Oh heeelllooooooooooooooooo SHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOP etc*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:12, archived)
at which point, the screaming starts.
The chickens always worry because they think it's foxes.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:11, archived)
YIFF YIFF etc

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:16, archived)
I'm imagining you saying "YIFF YIFF" like the Yip Yip Martians from Sesame Street.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:18, archived)
Ah, the unmitigated joy of "angry sex".

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:11, archived)
See also:
the colossal danger wank.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:31, archived)
which is...

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:33, archived)
When you
shout downstairs "MUM! DAD! HEEELP ME! QUICKLY!" and try and spunk before your parents run into the room.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:35, archived)
well, any dangerwank
but with higher levels of danger. Wanking whilst presenting newsnight. Wanking during a conference call. Wanking during sunday lunch with the vicar. That kind of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:39, archived)
Wanking during sunday lunch with the vicar.
That's not a danger wank, that's practically expected.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:40, archived)
Maybe with YOUR vicar.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:41, archived)
what about wanking while walking a tightrope over a crocodile pit?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:46, archived)
Hmmm.
Certainly in the ballpark. I think, strictly, the activity itself needs to be fairly risk-free, such that the danger comes solely from the masturbatory element. But it's not an exact science, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:48, archived)
OK
What about a businessman twist on the old 'shouting downstairs to your mum' one?

Pressing the stewardess call button on a business class flight and trying to time it just right so that you can clean up with the hot towel.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:52, archived)
hahaha. cunt.
it's a good job i'd already finished my tea or it would be new laptop time.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:56, archived)
How about wanking when on a random picture website?
"Tits....tits....arse....tits....tits....SPLATTERED CAT!...tits..."
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:51, archived)
This, I believe, is the classic "random shuffle" dangerwank

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:56, archived)