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I'm back now.
But I have to put the shopping away.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)
Shouldn't take long to stick 4 cans of special brew in the fridge

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GOOD ONE!
I'M TOTALLY MAKING A SONG ANBOUT THIS.................
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)
Like the way the South African government "put away" Stephen Biko?
You monster.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)
I prefered phil silver's portrayal over steve martin

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)
you poor man
I have a butler that puts my shopping away for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)
I just don't buy any shopping I'm not going to force down my gullet in twenty seconds anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)
a sensible policy for a happy life

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:25, archived)
Live fat, die young, leave a wide coffin

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)
Dieting is for people that hate themselves
Don't get me wrong..I DO hate myself, but it has nothing to do with food.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)
if its food shopping eat it all in one greedy mess

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)
I made scrambled eggs

(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)
what happened next?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)
I ate them and put the pan on the worktop side
then I had a peanut butter and jam toasted sandwich
and a cup of chamomile tea
and now I'm listening to Slayer
while sitting on one of my guitar amps because I don't have a bar stool in here
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)
is this still happening?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:40, archived)
it is, it is

(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)
You Toasted a peanut butter and jam sandwich?!
You're a mad man
(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:53, archived)
make two slices of toast
put peanut butter on one and jam on the other AND PRESS THEM THE FUCK TOGETHER
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:56, archived)
PATENT IT QUICK

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:59, archived)
I found a pretty web developer girl on OK Cupid so I sent her the following message..... OH GOD, I'M GOING TO BE SINGLE FOREVER


<?php if ( ! defined('BASEPATH')) exit('No direct script access allowed');
class OKCupid extends CI_Controller {
  
  var $curUser;
  
  function __CONSTRUCT() {
  parent::Controller();
  $this->curUser->load($this->session->get_userInfo('loggedUser'));
  }
  
  public function index() {
  $prettyGirl = '*****';
  
  if ($this->curUser->getResponceCount($prettyGirl) < 0) {
  if ($this->curUser->timeSinceLastMessage($prettyGirl) > (time() + (24 * 60 * 60))) {
  if ($this->_attempt($prettyGirl)) { $this->layout->view('wait-a-bit'); } else {
  $this->curUser->setInfo(array('dinner' => 'pot noodle', 'telivision'=>'Come Dine With Me', 'mood' => 'gutted'));
  $this->layout->view('exit');
  }
  }
  } else {
  if ($this->	curUser->getLatestResponceInfo($prettyGirl, 'mood') == 'possitive') { 
  $this->layout->add_message('WOO HOO');
  } else {
  $this->layout->add_message('Never mind dude, plenty of fish and all that');
  }
  
  $this->layout->view('echo');
  
  }
 }
  private function _attempt($username) {
  $you = new User('username', $username);
  if ($me -> getMsgAttempts($you) < 1) {
  $this->layout->add_message("Remember to play it cool, give it a day or soo");
  $this->messaging->($me, $you, "Hello !", "Hi, you seem cool, how are you?");
  $this->curUser->addMsgAttempt();
  }elseif ( $me -> getMsgAttempts($you) > 0 && $me -> getMsgAttempts($you) < 2) {
  $this->layout->add_message("OK, but chill out, maybe she's busy or something");
  $this->messaging->($me, $you, "Alright there?", "I'm not sure if you got my last message, maybe something messed up, anyway, hello, how are you doing?");
  $this->curUser->addMsgAttempt();
  }else {
  $this->layout->add_message("She's not in interested");
  return false;
  }
  return true;
  
  }
  }
  

?>

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)
Oh Gonz

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)
Do you mean
"Oh Gonz, this is awesome!"
(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:49, archived)
Hush, child who thinks dressing as Optimus Prime while having your winky dangling out of the costume
And saying to ladies TOUCH MY MATRIX OF LEADERSHIP is a 'smooth move'
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:53, archived)
Totally works though

(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
yeah
spango is still going out with cr3
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 15:33, archived)
haha
virgin
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:48, archived)
What does this do?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:54, archived)
Keeps him in wanks for an eternity

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
Using the internet to facilitate wanking?
The man's a genius.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:02, archived)
IT GOT ME A MOTHER FUCKING REPLY ! YES ! =DDDDD

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:02, archived)
WELL DONE!
Or is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:04, archived)
You know, gonz, I don't mean to piss on your chips, but you do realise that this is going to be another one of Wormulus's hilarious japes?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:05, archived)
Nah', I don't think so, she knows to much about web stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
Look, you're a decent bloke.
Just tidy yourself and your home up and stop having "friends" like everyone here.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)