The new fixtures are out. Triggering pre-season for lovely football.
What are your hopes for the forthcoming year?

For those who don't like football, feel free to discuss shoes or your nails.
Whilst a portly chap panders at you on the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:34, archived)

I don't often say this
but Jammers, this thread is shit, I preferred Mortal Wombat's one. Shut up about your poof's sport.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)

That's very offensive, and I will hold an internet based grudge for several months.
Long after you've forgotten what triggered my unrest.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)

We both know you will actually remember this for some weeks

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:38, archived)

My males breasts are wobbling with so much rage right now.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:41, archived)

are you sure it's rage

( vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:42, archived)

If I had nipple tassles I'd have my own eye out.
:(

Rage and WoW based excitement.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:47, archived)

christ you're a dull cunt

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:42, archived)

Hang fire, Nonce.
Bit busy here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)

King Judased us Jammers.
I'm dreading Cov v Brum next season.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)

WE WANT FOUR MILLION FOR LEON BEST!
FOUR MILLION!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)

get out
he's shit.

We want 40 mil for modric.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:49, archived)

£22m wasn't enough for Redknapp.
I can imagine £22m and some "Agent Fees" might have a different effect, mind.

..Modric isn't worth £40m.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)

28 and some chips should do it
Berbs wasn't worth 30 and Carrick definitely wasn't worth 18, but money talks. Old Harry can dig up a random african player who will score 20 in a season, sell him for a bucketload and he'll never have a good season again. See also: Yakubu, Benjani.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:53, archived)

Surprised we've picked up Ba so easily.
Only Everton, who are as tight as usual put up a fight.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)

He'll definitely crack you a few goals
you need to tighten on the wings a bit, but you've got a solid mid table squad already.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)

the rapist becomes the rapee?

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)

Something like that.
He's just been a fucking bell end about the whole thing. No-one wanted him and we gave him a chance, although it was uncomfortable for me to know a convicted sex offender was playing for my team.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)

if it's any comfort
there are several unconvicted sex offenders playing for other teams.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:54, archived)

This it true.
And you made me smile.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)

none at all, i cut my nails today though

( mongychops, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:47, archived)

D-:
ingeb.org/songs/cutthemo.html
( vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)

West Ham, eh?
Could be a derby next season.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:49, archived)

Big Sam and his big pile of long ball wank
he'll go up.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)

He's already reassembling Bolton.
I give it two months before he's under pressure at West Ham for not playing football the way they want it. Or something along these lines.
Allardyce will blame Newcastle United.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:51, archived)

I'll blame him for being a cud chewing pork lover
who's idea of tactics is to chew more gammon, furiously.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)

The taps at Allardyce Towers dispense tomato ketchup.
True.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)

in my line of work, yesterday
there was a disgruntled fan of a former Midlands European Champion club, who got to deliver a contract to be signed by the former manager of their very unhappy rivals. It was a pleasure to deal with that particular job.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

lost me there jmg

( mongychops, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)

my nail is growing back nicely after my dog bit it off, thanks for asking JMG

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:51, archived)

*Tender handshakes*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:51, archived)

i'm not much of a football fan
but i wish your team well, and if we're having a pint and the game is on i'll get the round in so you won't miss a goal.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)

You're the perfect date.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

if your perfect date has a penis
then yes
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

Plump and wrinkled, yet still sweet?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)

I'm making a girly website about c++ programming,
I hope it will get me a better job.

Well I say better. What I really mean is different.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)