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babies cry with an accent.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
over the w or the a?

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
well that depends on the baby

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)
this is my main issue with babies, no coherency.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
they're all cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)
I never know what to say to them.
I don't know why people bother introducing me to them, they're shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)
yeah and everyone else is all like "oh he's so beautiful &c,"
I don't know, they all look like Bruce Willis to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
I don't understand why people on maternity leave
bring their babies in to work. It's just showing off that their womb works and it's really disruptive.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
if someone brought their baby in to my work i would char grill it

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
One time someone at church gave me their baby to hold while they went away for a bit,
it was really confused because I wouldn't let it suck my tits and it started crying.

Trying to reason with it proved futile.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
why didn't you let it suck your tits?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
because I'm one mean motherfucker.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
shit dude, it was a baby, that is cold heartd

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
In the resturant next door work there is a little dog like Rick Stine's one that they let walk around on it's own around Farringdon (central london), loads of people who work there know it and its never gone missing.
Quite amazing really when you think about it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
there's a hair salon in Edinburgh that always has a pug in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)
Oh GLEE

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:46, archived)
A dog in a restaurant?
Fuck that shit. I wouldn't eat anywhere that had a dog wandering round. I also wouldn't drink real ale anywhere that had vinegar on the tables.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 1:09, archived)
faggot

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 1:13, archived)
Really? That's quite surprising.
I was training someone today and she noticed my email address. She said "How did you come up with that?" so I admitted my official name is Cattle Rusling, thanks to changing it by deed poll some years ago when I was drunk.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)
yeah, apparently,
they pick up on the different intonation patterns of their native language while they're still in the womb.

Also bees can be trained to sniff for drugs.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
I'd heard about the bees, not the native language thing. That's pretty cool.
Unrelated again, but at work we have some filing cabinets that allow you to open more than one drawer at once. Someone actually opened the top two drawers and it toppled over. The outcome is to replace all filing cabinets without the standard safety mechanism.

I can't help but feel this is pandering to the mongs.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
this should be filed under the When Idiots Design Things category.
Like the herbal teabags at work that, instead of having a string with a wee tag on the end, the teabags themselves are really long and drape over the side of the cup with a sort of cardboard hanger that goes over the handle.

The problem is they clearly never heard of the capillary effect. I came back from the loo to find my cup in a puddle. They have invented a teabag that siphons the tea out of the cup.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)
Here's another interesting thing.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_equivalent_dose
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)
this is a purple link.
i remember reading this at the same time as i read about another whimsical measurement which was based on the number of times one specific student could lay head to foot across a bridge in america somewhere, they actually did it, he laid down then stood up and laid down again, all across the bridge.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
There's also the thing about the half life of teaspoons.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:09, archived)
all bullshit

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)
still,
where would we be without whimsy, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)
somewhere nice

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)
hmmm I can't think of any definition of "nice"
that doesn't involve a great deal of whimsy.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:16, archived)
teehee!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)