Aw man I should star on that
'Theoban is a lardy sweat devil who likes computer games, t-shirts with webcomic slogans on them and shouting at inanimate objects. He refuses to talk to 'cretins' and thinks that people are 'just awful'. Let's see how he gets on meeting Jezebel, an unemployed 'playwright' who believes in ghosts and that the Earth Mother watches over us all'
( Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 9:41, archived)

You sound like every girls dream

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 9:49, archived)

Theoban is single after he broke up with his last girlfriend.
She was sick of his temper tantrums after not getting "the good toys" from a kinder surprise.
Theoban has previously been remanded in custody after writing threatening letters to Ferrero, demanding they stop placing "girls toys" in their confection or face the wrath of "his legion of space marines!!!!"
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 9:49, archived)

Baldmonkey's date was going quite well
Up until the point he brought the main course, which was an orchestra made of scrambled eggs. He then urinated over the dish while chanting 'BONGOBONGOBONGO' at the top of his lungs.
He hopes it went well and is looking forward to seeing her again.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 9:57, archived)

Lisa seems to be holding up rather well on her date with MONO!
two hours in and he's brought out the photos of his lego cabinet.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:03, archived)

Pfft

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:09, archived)

The date had gone well.
"I had a really nice time, Megan" Two Hats told her as he walked her to her door.
"Me too. Thank you..." she paused, trying to remember his name.
Two Hats began to well up.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:15, archived)

Haha
Oh Edna...you are a CARD!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:18, archived)

It seems Hilary has had enough and stormed out.
The tipping point appears to have been when Edd produced a flick book he had made that can only be described as shocking in both the brutality and intesnity of its sexual content.
Next week: Noit's date has the food slapped out of her hand and is forced to listen to a half hour lecture on why she was holding her fork wrong.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:25, archived)

Brilliant

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

I write flick in all caps like FLICK for additional subtle shock value

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:28, archived)

After making her excuses, Destiny leaves MMPS on his own to finish his bigmac value meal.
The eveing started badly when he tried to pull the chair out for her and quickly degenerated into farce when, in a typically glasweigan way, he poured alcohol into his drink. "Ah pure luv a buckieshake, hawhawhawhaw!" he then asked "Do you suck it all doon hen?" and pointed to his crotch.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:35, archived)