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YES, a satchel
I need a satchel
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:12, archived)
DO IT! GET A SATCHEL!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:13, archived)
*flusters*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:16, archived)
i bet he hasn't got one yet

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:34, archived)
It's not as easy to find as you'd think
the marketplace is a minefield
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:36, archived)
Perfect
Not only will that keep all my belongings safe, but people will avoid me too. Win-Win.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:00, archived)
Be prepared for people to call it a 'manbag'.
Because any bag owned by a man that's not a backpack becomes a 'manbag' for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:17, archived)
Size is key.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:17, archived)
I thought it was what you do with it that counts?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:25, archived)
Well it appears I know nothing.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:27, archived)
You are Jon Snow AICMFP.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:39, archived)
I know, what's that all about?
A small bag would be well handy. Phone, wallet, keys....too much for the average trouser pocket
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:18, archived)
The one I have came in two sizes, I *wanted* the smaller one, but society pressured me into getting the bigger one. I feel like I have failed.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:23, archived)
what a world

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:25, archived)
Keys in one trouser pocket, wallet in the other, phone in jacket.
That's how I do it. No need for bag.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:28, archived)
You won't be so smug when tesco have 4 toffee crisps for £1 and you end up wandering around with a carrier bag like a homeless mental

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:32, archived)
Ahahaha, "Tesco", like that's even thing.
My local supermarket is a Waitrose.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:37, archived)
No, because then I have to take everything out and find a place to put it if I want to sit down

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:32, archived)
FRONT trouser pockets, numbnuts.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:38, archived)
That's what I mean
My phone's huge, my wallet is normal size, and a bunch of keys?? Ooh, digs into your leg when you sit down. No good at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:39, archived)
bloody fussy seaters

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:50, archived)
*golf applause*

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:56, archived)