That's enough of that
Buying yourself any nice toys this year/month/afternoon?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:59, archived)

Got a custom-built thousand-quid laptop turning up any day now.
*drools*
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:01, archived)

Yowzer
What are you doing with it? Gaming?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:03, archived)

Yeah, that and music production and hopefully live performances too.
Plus guiltily wanking over ladyboy scat pr0n, obvs.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:07, archived)

Nice
I'd love to start recording with my lappy, but I'm a duffer at it. I need someone to sit down and show me, bascially.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:08, archived)

1) Download cracked copy of Ableton Live 9 from Teh P****e B*y
2) Follow tutorial that comes with the program
3) Start by ripping off samples from tunes you like
4) Record extra bits from whatever 'real' instruments you have lying around
5) Basically fuck around and have fun
6) Profit

It worked for me. Well, apart from the profit bit. But I'm working on that.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:23, archived)

Rather embarrasingly, I already own Ableton Live
but I couldn't get it to work. It drove me to the point of wanting to throw the computer out of the window.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:24, archived)

Hmm, can't help you there I'm afraid.
What version? I found the tutorial that came with version 9 was enough to get started with, and I'd never used any comparable software before.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:26, archived)

Or do you mean the software won't actually run properly?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:28, archived)

I don't recall now, it was a long time ago
Perhaps I'll give it another crack. Cheers though :)
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:31, archived)

you need to get a bird with big hooters to dance on a video

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:25, archived)

brb, gazzing WW.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:26, archived)

azzing uiltily wanking over
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:07, archived)

life

( $$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:04, archived)

You're buying life?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:05, archived)

it's the name of a game
and i'm not certain but i think he wants to play the game with YOU
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:30, archived)

CUDDLY TOY!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:31, archived)

i told you not to call me that in public

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:32, archived)

youtu.be/sbscx0S3jcY
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 May 2015, 12:49, archived)

plays with mike and the mechanics now
mikeandthemechanics.com/bio/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:18, archived)

actually I will be buying b3ta

( $$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:05, archived)

then shutting it down

( $$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:05, archived)

strip it for parts m8

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:06, archived)

a lot of pubes in the servers though

( $$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:22, archived)

i shouldn't think so

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:05, archived)

No watches you've got your eye on?
What's your opinion on the Apple one? I don't get it myself.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:06, archived)

watches are not toys :'( and i dunno about the apple watch, not my thing

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:16, archived)

some watches are toys
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:04, archived)

still better than the iwatch

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:13, archived)

i had a sonic the hedgehog one

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:15, archived)

I had a WWF one
Warrior Vs Rick Rude
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:45, archived)

I stand corrected, it was Hulk Hogan and Rick Rude
junksave.com/item/wwf-superstars-wristwatch-video-game-tiger
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:47, archived)

i didn't have the watch
but i had this bad boy
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:51, archived)

could you do something about this weeks image challenge, it really has taken this online bullying too far

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:56, archived)

I had this one
data.gamewatch.com.es/content/wwf-wrestlemania-challenge

it was bizarre. I think Andre the Giant had kidnapped someone and you had to rescure here. it was like a WWF version of Donkey Kong.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:04, archived)

I might buy a nice new rucksack for my holiday, and maybe a new laptop. Cor!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:05, archived)

I want one of those backpack laptop bags that's got space for my sarnies

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:07, archived)

My work satchel is suitable for a tablet device and lunch products, but whilst dragging a suitcase (red) I feel a rucksack would be more appropriate and practical. The one I want is olive green.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:09, archived)

YES, a satchel
I need a satchel
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:12, archived)

DO IT! GET A SATCHEL!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:13, archived)

*flusters*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:16, archived)

i bet he hasn't got one yet

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:34, archived)

It's not as easy to find as you'd think
the marketplace is a minefield
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:36, archived)

get this one
2.bp.blogspot.com/_sEanmFqtK1I/TEzVzHRPntI/AAAAAAAABMA/nryna9qXs0E/s1600/DSC05558.jpg
( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:54, archived)

Perfect
Not only will that keep all my belongings safe, but people will avoid me too. Win-Win.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:00, archived)

Be prepared for people to call it a 'manbag'.
Because any bag owned by a man that's not a backpack becomes a 'manbag' for some reason.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:17, archived)

Size is key.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:17, archived)

I thought it was what you do with it that counts?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:25, archived)

Well it appears I know nothing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:27, archived)

You are Jon Snow AICMFP.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:39, archived)

I know, what's that all about?
A small bag would be well handy. Phone, wallet, keys....too much for the average trouser pocket
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:18, archived)

The one I have came in two sizes, I *wanted* the smaller one, but society pressured me into getting the bigger one. I feel like I have failed.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:23, archived)

what a world

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:25, archived)

Keys in one trouser pocket, wallet in the other, phone in jacket.
That's how I do it. No need for bag.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:28, archived)

You won't be so smug when tesco have 4 toffee crisps for £1 and you end up wandering around with a carrier bag like a homeless mental

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:32, archived)

Ahahaha, "Tesco", like that's even thing.
My local supermarket is a Waitrose.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:37, archived)

No, because then I have to take everything out and find a place to put it if I want to sit down

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:32, archived)

FRONT trouser pockets, numbnuts.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:38, archived)

That's what I mean
My phone's huge, my wallet is normal size, and a bunch of keys?? Ooh, digs into your leg when you sit down. No good at all.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:39, archived)

bloody fussy seaters

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:50, archived)

*golf applause*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:56, archived)

when i used to work in IT, we had a laptop returned to us with a complaint of 'it's not working'
turns out the guy would just cram his lunch in his laptop bag and all the ports and vents were filled with mashed banana
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:32, archived)

Haha, lovely
Did you eat the banana?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:33, archived)

yeah,
it took several bytes!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:13, archived)

oh hahahah

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:48, archived)

I'll probably buy some records

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:07, archived)

What are you after?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:07, archived)

the latest spiritual jazz compilation from jazzman gerald and lots of other stuff too

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:10, archived)

Oh
Not Now! 90 then?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:12, archived)

Fucking hell, it's tipping it down

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:13, archived)

sure is
i got soaked going on the coffee and bacon roll run this morning
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:33, archived)

At least you got coffee and bacon out of it
Actually, it seems to have calmed down a bit. Might make a dash for Tesco.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:37, archived)

I just accidentally bought 8 marine fish books
and I might buy a new acoustic guitar I dunno
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:14, archived)

8 different books?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:15, archived)

yeah I was bidding them up for someone on eBay and I won them

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:16, archived)

haha, oh dear
Ah well, you might learn something
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:20, archived)

I also want a bass

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:15, archived)

and a les paul

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:15, archived)

This is my one
imgur.com/mq4V7eJ
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:18, archived)

well, my gibson one
I have two Epi's, but they don't really count
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:34, archived)

Oh nice
Gibson or Epiphone? I'd quite like a custom, the black one with white binding
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:34, archived)

oh I see^

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:34, archived)

Definitely
Have you seen the hollow ones? they sound the business
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:35, archived)

youtu.be/0g1f9fcEQ4k
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:19, archived)

the fish or the instrument?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:16, archived)

or the shandy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:20, archived)

always been more of a top deck man myself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:23, archived)

Haha, that's a name from the past

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:23, archived)

I don't know why they stopped marketing low alcohol drinks to children

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:25, archived)

Kids these days are all about the Buckfast, crack and glue, that's why.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2015, 12:27, archived)

or the megaman character

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:40, archived)

sympathy reply

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:24, archived)

And any particular brand/model of guitar?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:15, archived)

Them Washburn ones are supposed to be really good, for the price

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:16, archived)

Worth checking out Yamaha
They're making some cracking acoustics these days
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:19, archived)

When I got rid of my Ibanez I kept my Washburn
it's a clean little strat that puts up with my clumsy attempts to play it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:42, archived)

i want a new telly, as we've discussed
and i'd like to build myself a gaming pc one day
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:35, archived)

What would you build it out of?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:39, archived)

mashed bananas

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:40, archived)

pc parts and spunk

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:44, archived)

don't forget gumption

( $$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:07, archived)

I recently built a computer to play GTA V on.
Intel 4790k
Asus Z97 MAXIMUS VII RANGER Motherboard
Samsung 850 pro 256gb
32GB komupterbay RAM
Asus GTX 970 Strix DirectCU
Noctua NH-D14 cooler
Fractal Design silent case

Hope that helps.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:06, archived)

i'd be concerned about buying anything made by 'komupterbay'

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:12, archived)

Well yes, I was too but it turned out to be a fantastic investment due to their lifetime warranty.
The first ram they sent in 2012 for £100 was full of errors but I couldn't be bothered to return it. Then 3 months ago I built my new computer, returned the ram and they sent me some new ram, now worth £200, that works fine.
True story.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:31, archived)

I'm spending some of my extra groats on recording a rock and roll record with my rock and roll band.
So I'll have to get some new bass strings and a fancy new shirt to record in, because we all know looking good is sounding good.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 May 2015, 12:47, archived)

I want to be in a rock & roll band, Windus
but I hate people. Does that matter, do you think?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:53, archived)

I dunno.
I like the guys in my rock and roll band, but I'm not sure it's important that you do.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 May 2015, 12:58, archived)

Ideally, I'd email the members of the band a list of songs for us to practise
then we don't even need to speak. Just turn up and play.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:59, archived)

go the thomas truax route

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:16, archived)

I do want to play in a band
I'd just prefer it to be people I already know.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:09, archived)

but most people you know are pricks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:12, archived)

Then you see my predicament?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:19, archived)

I want a new drug
One that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick
( $$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:04, archived)

Yesterday I bought some wood, wire mesh and nails and built a giant outdoor run for my rabbit.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:08, archived)

good grief

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:12, archived)

Yeah
TT-303 www.cyclone-analogic.fr/en/34-bass-bot-tt-303-0701980493430.html

i like TT's
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:26, archived)

i like titties too

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:36, archived)

wow
that looks complicated
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:09, archived)