Captain Tom went on a family holiday to Barbados in December,
and now he's in hospital with Covid.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:10, archived)

It was a present from BA as a trip was on his bucket list , he can due knowing he ticked it off

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:14, archived)

Indeed.
Can't begrudge him that, but the timing was a bit off, what with it being when everyone was being told not to make any non-essential trips and to cancel Christmas.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:17, archived)

He should have took a few million and moved there, probably be alright instead of in hospital

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:24, archived)

I should imagine he saw the story of Tom's charity work and thought he'd let him have his ticket
Seeing as of course he himself ain't gettin' on no plane

Still, very generous of the man.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:24, archived)

What with the rise in value of precious metals
Mr. T must be worth a lot right now.
www.theguardian.com/business/live/2021/feb/01/silver-price-squeeze-reddit-traders-gamestop-ftse-dow-uk-factories-business-live
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:26, archived)

everyone called Tom is an abject fuckin prick, just sayin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:15, archived)

ok, first question, who is Captain Tom

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:20, archived)

could be a David Bowie tribute act eh

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:25, archived)

he's a national hero who proved that the nhs doesn't need funding from central government

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:51, archived)

It's funded a room the nurses can go to cry when watching thousands of old people die thanks to "eat out help out" all gets a bit much

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:00, archived)

UK's infection rate was like 1 in 20000 then , unlike London in December which was 1 in 30

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:03, archived)

I just like to lazily blame everything on that

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

no correlation i'm sure

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:03, archived)

Captain Tom is the new Skee-Lo

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:02, archived)

ok now I'm worried about the *old* Skee-Lo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:18, archived)

He did a charity walk around his garden
But it was for the spastics society
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:35, archived)

I wondered where dozer had got the money for his new wheelchair from
now I know.

Thanks, Skee-Lo!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

He's a fucken million years old
And because of the UK's obsession with WW2, we all collectively masturbate over someone who was there, wandering around his garden
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:04, archived)

^ traitor

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

Sounds like a cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:16, archived)

Me you mean

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:25, archived)

Nice comma placement

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:10, archived)

Thanks, I've just had it done
/ac
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:11, archived)

I haven't had a garden wank for ages
roll on the summer
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:13, archived)