What ho, knobber's
It's only me (Queef Richard's).

Are you having a nice day? Mine is pretty fucking crap 'tee bee aitch'.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 14:43, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that
What's so bad about it?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 14:44, archived)

an electrician showed up at 9am to do checks for the landlord, was going to take me offline for 20mins or so
Of course it was 1.5h, the cunt. All the work I got ahead of yesterday morning was wiped out and I've only now got back on top of it.

Monday schmonday, that's what I've never said before but might do again in the future.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:18, archived)

Did he take that long because he spent most of his time talking about carp fishing, doing lines of shoe and pausing to catch pokemon?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:32, archived)

I had my suspicions when I noticed that all my lagers had gone missing from the fridge

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:34, archived)

The prosecution rests, m'lud.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Feb 2021, 18:57, archived)

TAKE HIM DIIIINE

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 20:03, archived)

He’s gone fishing m’lud

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:01, archived)

No the schmonday thing has to stop here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:00, archived)

I did not like it outside today , it's too fucking cold

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 14:54, archived)

You had an ice day then

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:11, archived)

Certainly, nearly went arse over about 3 times and that's with decent boots on

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:14, archived)

mrs q decked out when she popped to the shop earlier

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:18, archived)

can you do EICRs?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:56, archived)

Nope , although you dont have to be to do them nearly all will be carried out by niceic members

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:17, archived)

I need one and it seems it's going to be about £150 inc VAT, scouting around, there's not much variation in price

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:26, archived)

Sounds about right , it would be priced at 4 hours

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:46, archived)

samesies :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:04, archived)

have you tried slamming your bollocks in the fridge door?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:19, archived)

yes, the firdge door, then the fridge door

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:20, archived)

which did you find was better?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:35, archived)

the firdge door, obvs

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:42, archived)

Something about giving your kids a treat with a finger

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:52, archived)

Took me two hours to get to work this morning, usually 15 minutes.
None of the roads seem to have been treated at all, despite the Twitter proclamation by the local council that they were "working through the night". Aye, right.

Still, the snow is very pretty, so that's some consolation.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:21, archived)

none of the roads round here have been done either
I expect they're doing the fewer shit postcodes first
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:36, archived)

This is how you find out roughly where the council bosses live

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:42, archived)

in 'council houses'?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 17:26, archived)

s'alright I s'pose

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:27, archived)

halfhearted wilbury

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:32, archived)

that's the spirit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:35, archived)

It's still snowing and I have to go to the shops
time to look for those crampons I bought off the internet
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:45, archived)

alright 'Captain Oates'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:07, archived)

or 'Wild' to his mates

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

Snowed for about 5 minutes earlier
Too cold to go out, so I'm staying in with a book and a bovril
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:03, archived)

it is rather nippy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:09, archived)

Indeed
Got the sea winds here, too, which make it even colder. Thank fuck the shop is literally 15 seconds away
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:20, archived)

Every shop is literally 15 seconds away, if you vary how fast you travel.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:26, archived)

Same here
Snowed for about 2 minutes.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:42, archived)

Having a great day
Some cunt left his lagers in the fridge when I went round to do some work.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:42, archived)

Catch many pokemon?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:48, archived)

Huh, looks like someone has just deleted an entire NHS database.
Last week: "Don't call us, you WILL be contacted, don't worry, we haven't forgotten about you."
Today: "If we've missed you please get in touch, your responsibility now. If you don't, we'll assume you just want to get sick."
(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 18:13, archived)

I got one of those letters a few months back
I've tried to call to ask if I'm still on the list, but no one's picking up the phone. Whole thing's fucked
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 18:42, archived)

The health service was a mess even before this virus came along, it was hardly going to improve things

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 19:16, archived)