Phwoar, Gwyneth Paltrow eh?
I'd let her have a go on my Ironman

As well as performing various other domestic chores
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 15:27, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 15:30, archived)

She could steam the wrinkles out of my cuffs
IYKWIM. I really do mean that. I hate ironing, but I'd be happy to put the groceries away and unload the dishwasher.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 15:54, archived)

IKWYMYDOB
Yeah, I'd let her empty my food waste bin and fill my cardboard recycling bag.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 15:59, archived)

UTTER FILTH

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 6 Jun 2024, 17:38, archived)

I've never found her remotely attractive

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 16:54, archived)

my friend fucked his gf with a remote control and then told us
if we're ever watching tv or a film at his and the remote goes missing we always ask her if she knows where it is.

it's deliciously awkward
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 18:02, archived)

So she was quite easy to turn on, got it.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 18:06, archived)

around the time of sliding doors and shakespeare in love
I would have happily had a go
(piss and shit, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 18:46, archived)

Rather you than me.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 18:55, archived)

well yes

(piss and shit, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 19:20, archived)

lol

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 6 Jun 2024, 19:24, archived)