mornington crescent

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 5:53, archived)

Mornington has broken

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 7:46, archived)

I was turned away from the blood donation centre yesterday
because I've been to Marseille in the last couple of weeks. Apparently, it's a risk for dengue fever and a whole load of other mosquito-spread nasties and I DID GET BITTEN A LOT BY THE MOZZIES.

So here I am with a pint more blood than I expected today.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 8:40, archived)

They won't take my blood
Because I have to have supplements
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

Obligatory Tony Hancock
www.youtube.com/watch?v=utdW5A_9OBo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

Fancy a pint later?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:51, archived)

That'd be nearly an armful

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:54, archived)

They used to refuse my blood due to the frequency of anal sex
I'm sure mosquitos will be allowed in time.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 10:35, archived)

what if mosquitos don't want anal sex?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:43, archived)

Tough shit.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:49, archived)

a gnat's chuff is literally as tight as a gnat's chuff

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 12:55, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:23, archived)

dunno, not fucked a man one

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:10, archived)

Buttocks to them

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:21, archived)

I had no idea anal sex had a characteristic frequency.
But if you're finding that it 'killer-hurts', I suggest using more lube or asking your partner to slow down a bit.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 26 Jul 2024, 13:55, archived)

Or using mosquitos

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:23, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 26 Jul 2024, 8:43, archived)

Morning
Poo before shower, or after?
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

During, solid multitasking
Lol, solid
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:52, archived)

Who cares, as long as you wipe your arse on the shower curtain

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:55, archived)