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Graham CORPSE

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 8:21, archived)
Morning
my toe has been hurting all night. Haven't damaged it. Not sure what this could be a portent of, you know, like Shakespear "by the pricking of my thumbs."

By the hurting of my toe
Off to Lidl I must go.

Nop. Not exactly The Bard
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 8:44, archived)
Toe aids
Sos you have 2 days to live
Sos and all that
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:36, archived)
No i never

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:16, archived)
If it's your big toe then it's gout, if it's one of the others it's nowt

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:56, archived)
I did think gout
but it's more likely my vitamin d defficiency kicking off - I've not been taking my tablets the last couple of days.
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 13:36, archived)
do you live in a cave?

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 13:45, archived)
I worked on a clinical trial comparing gout treatments for several years, true story.
My educated guess [albeit without access to serum urate level data, or patient history - apart from regular bragging about overindulgence on here, which is anecdotal but persuasive]: it's fucking gout.
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 16:52, archived)
Oh well.
Shan't cheer myself up with a roast beef dinner and bottle of claret then.
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 17:11, archived)
Don't forget the cheese board!

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 17:15, archived)
55 :(

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 8:52, archived)
that's numberwang!

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 9:28, archived)
55 all out

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 9:48, archived)
Looks like he bailed

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:04, archived)
Maybe he'll come back as a vampire so he can turn into a cricket bat.

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:08, archived)
umpire bat

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:17, archived)
One of our great cricketers
One of the good guys
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:34, archived)
bollocks

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:56, archived)
Now I've worked out who you mean,
I think I've probably heard of him.
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:44, archived)
i have no idea who it is

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:48, archived)
-is +was

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:54, archived)
fuck you

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 10:56, archived)
Yeah?
Yeah.
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:10, archived)
who iswasit you shit

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:14, archived)
Was (Not Is)

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:19, archived)
tell me you slag

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:24, archived)

Fine
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:28, archived)
i'm not allowed to click links from strangers

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:30, archived)
my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. i didnt like it.

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:35, archived)
Jacob Dyer was at the Fesshole live show I went to last year in Bristol.
Rob got him on stage like some sort of celebrity.
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 11:57, archived)
Did he sound like barnaby bear?

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:36, archived)
Yeah.
Well, probably. Actually, fucked if I know. What does Barnaby Bear sound like?
(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:42, archived)
Jacob Dyer

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:46, archived)
Oh then definitely yes.

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:46, archived)
I knew it

(, Mon 5 Aug 2024, 12:49, archived)