Fucking hell!
It's Wednesday!

I have lots of mega painkillers and a licence to lounge about doing nowt for a couple of days, but since the surgery was on my groin, wanking is not permitted.

What can a poor man do?
( Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:08, archived)

Gas yourself?

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:10, archived)

Semen Khaidenko

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:43, archived)

Gasboon dioxide

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:47, archived)

Fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:53, archived)

Beepeedee

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:53, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:56, archived)

Cheers

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:58, archived)

eat glass?

( MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:17, archived)

At least the thought of immenent death has shrunk my morning boner
Thanks!?
( Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:28, archived)

Man up, have a wank

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:46, archived)

Have two

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:47, archived)

Have wank up a man

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:48, archived)

Yeah, but it hurts when I tug

( Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 9:23, archived)

Danger wank

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:47, archived)

He’s the greatest

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:48, archived)

Wherever there is pornhub he'll be there

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:53, archived)

Baron Bareback

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:55, archived)

Penisfold

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:58, archived)

Three and a half hours
And I'm still giggling at this
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 11:24, archived)

UK's abandoned 3rd studio album

( brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 17:54, archived)

Shove some cocoa down your cloaca

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:48, archived)

And shit out a Freddo

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:53, archived)

Just got double points at Costa, get in

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:53, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 7:58, archived)

-points +teamed

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:01, archived)

Standard.

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:04, archived)

owned by coca cola

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:05, archived)

Turtle power!

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:08, archived)

owned pwned
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:34, archived)

<s><s></s>

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:35, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 12:04, archived)

Get off your tits on mega painkillers
and watch absurdly filthy porn.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 8:34, archived)

Clowns fucking in pigshit good enough for you?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 9:25, archived)

Clowns?
You freak.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 10:11, archived)

Tup, tup, tup

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 12:02, archived)

ALL the other tables

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 12:27, archived)

Could be very frustrating, given that an effect of opioids is to make you unable to cum.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 12:45, archived)

Hey, how do you know what effect opioids have on me anyway?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 13:13, archived)

Depends how much you shove down your japper

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 13:31, archived)

my dudes
Someone should make a meme of that
( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 9:35, archived)

I'm surprised nobody has said Wanky wanky wank wank yet

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 9:40, archived)

Settle in for Homes Under The Hammer
and A Place In The Sun
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Aug 2024, 9:41, archived)