Been trying to sell my old car for about two grand
Last night someone dented it and I had to sell it for a meagre 500 quid.

I reckon it was the car dealer himself, coming in at night and damaging the car so he'd get a lower price.

What's your conspiracy theory wot might be actually true?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 12:29, archived)

Elon Musk is a closeted gay man

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 12:32, archived)

dunno about that, he seems to like making a lot of babies with a lot of women

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 12:37, archived)

Classic diversionary tactic
He's so far in the closet that he's found fucking Narnia
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:18, archived)

The UFOs seen by Kenneth Arnold which he described as moving like flying saucers (coining the phrase) skimming over a lake
but looking crescent shaped (the media/general public later decided he meant they looked like saucers) were actually German experimental flying wing aircraft possibly Horten Ho-229s captured at the end of the war and being tested by the US military.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:06, archived)

This first bit also means anyone reporting a UFO that they described as a flying saucer after his sighting was making it up

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:07, archived)

Thanks for asking.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:08, archived)

Horten Builds A Ho

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:10, archived)

ADOFL (/:0=)

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:34, archived)

Anally Distended On the Floor Laughing?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:36, archived)

Don't mind if I do.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:51, archived)

The pope sells his blood to lizard aliens for gold Kinder Eggs
which he then trades to John Virgo for sordid stories about his time on Big Break with Jim Davidson.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:51, archived)

Like the time he screwed back to pot the pink

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:55, archived)

when he took on the difficult brown

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:02, archived)

He needed the rest after that

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:09, archived)

At least he didn't baulk at giving it a try.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:18, archived)

I predicted there’d be a load of snooker puns and here they are, right on cue

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:19, archived)

Anything can be a snooker pun it just depends on how you frame it.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:26, archived)

oh give me a break

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:59, archived)

SNOOKER

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:03, archived)

I reckon Virgo prefers Kinder Bueno tbh

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 13:56, archived)

Because they're fucking fit

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:09, archived)

Just had one
can confirm.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:26, archived)

That's because Kinder Eggs combine disappointing chocolate with a disappointing toy.
Bueno is obviously the superior confectionery.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:19, archived)

Volcanoes are god's pimples

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:01, archived)

So you think that Earth is god's head?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 16:01, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:02, archived)

Andrew Tate is so masculine
his sweat works the same way as WD40.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:03, archived)

He looks like a ballbag
And he has no chin
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:08, archived)

I put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 14:21, archived)

^Teh Unabomper

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:13, archived)

Mr Blobby is British Shrek
less a conspiracy theory more a hill I'm willing to die on.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:52, archived)

^ has a crinkley bottom

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 15:55, archived)

^ has a smooth hump like action man

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 16:00, archived)

I’ve got a right hump-on

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 16:09, archived)

Reporting this.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 16:12, archived)

Car threads make you bald.

( brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 27 Nov 2024, 16:47, archived)