I’ve got squirrels in my loft
What’s in your loft? You can’t say Hitler
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 14:57, archived)

I have an upstairs neighbour
So no loft
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:00, archived)

Do they scurry around at night leaving droppings everywhere?

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:01, archived)

No
But they do have care workers and nurses calling from 6am till 11 at night. I can't complain, they're looking after her
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:25, archived)

A Jew, don't tell Hitler

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:04, archived)

Bless you

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:05, archived)

Non, non, je disais au revoir

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:11, archived)

Mange tout Rodders

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:15, archived)

It stands for 'diploma in computers'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:36, archived)

I was lying anyway, I don't even have a loft.
I discovered after we moved in that our house is a "chalet bungalow", which sounds unbearably poncey but just means that a previous owner turned the loft into more rooms.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:57, archived)

Field mice, probably.
They sound huge when they find an electrical junction and start playing with/chewing it. They sound equally large when playing with/chewing on the large quantity of rat poison stored up there.
( brb natural fistic, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 15:44, archived)

Wouldn't mouse poison be more appropriate?
Rat poison might be quite bad for mice.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:08, archived)

Yes, you wouldn't want them to overdose on it.
Who knows what superpowers they may develop?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:16, archived)

Down on the ground! Is it a rat? Is it a mouse?

( brb natural fistic, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 21:11, archived)

Nah definitely squirrels
thought it was rats as they were loud but had a pest control guy take a look - they’re getting in through some loose tiles
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:54, archived)

I get mice too sometimes but the cat takes care of those
And by takes care I mean leaving the half-chewed corpses in my shoes
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:55, archived)

We don't have squirrels here.
Nothing for them to eat. The ecosystem is collapsing.
( brb natural fistic, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 21:54, archived)

A1 pieces of paper that I cut into 1cm x 1cm squares every night.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:22, archived)

what do you do with the left over strips?

(pick n mix link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 17:04, archived)

Weave myself a wife of course.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 20:54, archived)

Me irl rn lol lmao
My office is a loft conversion
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:37, archived)

Sounds well poncey m8

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:54, archived)

it's poncey 'eh eff' m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 16:55, archived)

Fucking woodworm.
Spent most of yesterday spraying things down.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 4 Dec 2024, 20:19, archived)