Posh people just aren't named the same way as the rest of us.
*ANECDOTE ALERT*

I was working in a pharmacy one Thursday when Lord So-and-so phoned asking to speak to the head pharmacist. I was the only pharmacist there, so that was me. He told me that there was an arrangement between himself, ourselves and his GP to facilitate a "transfer of stock", and could we get this done by close of play tomorrow? "It is within the 24 hours," he concluded.

After gently quizzing him to try to decipher this arrangement for 5 minutes, I worked out that what he wanted to do was: order a repeat prescription. This would take two working days just to get it back from the surgery, so fuck knows where he got the 24 hour figure from. I managed to suggest to him that it would be quicker if he phoned his GP surgery himself to request it. He agreed, and then called back to tell me that if I phoned [surgery phone number] after 3pm and asked to speak to "Jackieh or Christieh" then they would sort me out.

I did so, and asked if they had Lord So-and-so's prescription ready. "Is he the posh gentleman?" they asked. Yes, I said. "What's his name?" they asked. Fuck, I have no idea, I said. He's Lord So-and-so, but what's his actual name? I asked around the pharmacy staff to find that he had at least three surnames, but nobody know which one he was actually listed under. Turned out it didn't matter, because he'd phoned the wrong fucking surgery anyway - he was registered at the other one.

*ANECDOTE OVER*
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 16:02, archived)

Can you sum this anecdote up in an emoji or two?
My attention span doesn't last past oh actually never mind I'm not really arsed either way.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 16:18, archived)

💊🤡

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 16:20, archived)

Needs more
☎️🎩🧐🏥🤔🙄
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 3 Jun 2025, 17:02, archived)

I was limited to two

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 17:59, archived)

war and fucking peace here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 18:17, archived)

i like everything about this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 18:15, archived)

I just don't think anecdotes are your forte.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Jun 2025, 16:25, archived)

⛔️💩🕵‍♂️

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 16:32, archived)

Stop poo private investigator?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Jun 2025, 16:54, archived)

Dire Straitzzz

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 17:01, archived)

Spice Girlzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 17:56, archived)

mr. ben got weird

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 18:07, archived)

i'm glad i read all of that it was the most heartwarming tale of human discovery i have ever witnessed
ps. bollocks
( MiseryCunt, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 20:19, archived)