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This is a question Against Your Will

Our old pal Freddie Woo says: An ancient aunt once tried to kidnap me and leave me on an island after lying about the last ferry. Ever been forced to do something good or bad?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:35)
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Not long out of uni and off with my boyfriend on out first holiday together..
We were more culturally inclined than sunworshippers, and poor with it, so we were quite pleased to find a nice cheap deal for the boat across to Belgium for a few days of beer and architecture.

Two days in and it was clear, most certainly in the case of my other half, that beer was winning the day. And night. And well into the next morning. We'd done (fucking) Bruges on the first day as it was just up the road from the city we were staying in and had kinda ticked 'culture' off the list. So beer it was. After getting rather 'tanked up' on the local paint stripper my previously mild mannered boyfriend became rather, er, sexually suggestive. Now whether this was a previously unaired peccadilo or whether he'd always meant to bring it up, I have no idea, but it went well beyond the realms of what I personally would consider normal. Or even a turn on. Or hygienic.

Safe to say, my shock was clear for him to see and he fled into the Belgian night with a mix of drunkrage and embarrassment. I returned to our hotel room for a lie down and a wind down to await his return (his pissed state would aid rather than hinder his return so I wasn't worried). A few hours later he returned with a look of shame in his face and confession on his lips. He'd apparently wandered off into a particular 'area' of the city which, fortuitously for him, could provide the very needs he now knew would NOT be forthcoming from his girlfriend. So with a heavy heart and a lightened wallet he told me the whole story. I was kinda in love with the freaky pervert, so I forgave him and we spent the rest of the holiday pretty much sober.

There are many things I'll do for my boyfriend and many I wont, but at least he knows that if I wont do it a Ghent whore will.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:20, closed)
Christ almighty.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:25, closed)
...jesus.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:27, closed)
Where did the post from Dr. Shambolic go?
If he deletes it does that mean he doesn't mean it?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:38, closed)
Yes...and then did, cringed, deleted and popped into the garden for a quattro stagioni to calm down.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:39, closed)
I deleted the wrong one. Soz.
I haven't deleted my click though. Hope that's some consolation.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:44, closed)
Thanks Doc!

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:47, closed)
you 'dimlow'

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:03, closed)
it's dinlow, you dimlow

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:34, closed)
It's dinlo you dinlo.

(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 8:11, closed)
It's dinny, boi.

(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:58, closed)
by wrong one
You mean the one where you were pretending to be reminiscing about a trip to the lake district in the 60s.

Where did that one go?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:28, closed)
that wasn't me
on account of not being born in the 1960s

edit: howd up ... that one is still there
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:58, closed)
Ooooh
My first 2.0ing ... that I know of.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:38, closed)
terrible online bullying

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:34, closed)
Sooooooooooooo..
What did he want to do? *whistles nonchalantly*
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:00, closed)
Bagpiping.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:24, closed)
Cleveland Steamer

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:40, closed)
the David Blaine

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:23, closed)
Meatloafing.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 18:08, closed)
I was about to suggest that he wanted to lope his pony over the back forty
but then I spied the pun.
(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 2:48, closed)
Dirty Sanchez

(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 8:08, closed)
peck on the cheek

(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:12, closed)
Hold hands.
Filthy pervert.
(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:47, closed)
More people ought to have this sort of tolerant attitude.
Have a click.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:00, closed)
May angry hornets feast on your tattered entrails.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:20, closed)

Oh, very good.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:26, closed)
For small values of both "very" and "good".

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:51, closed)
needless to say you stopped sex as he probaly caught a case

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:44, closed)
Well played, here.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:52, closed)
Hang on a minute.
Is this a pun, by any chance?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:49, closed)
Missed it on first read.
There is class written all over this post.

Clever and wankable. I predict a win.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:00, closed)
Aha, I've got it now.

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:01, closed)
Oh fucking hell.
Kudos to the OP for hiding that so well!
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 18:28, closed)
Up the bum?

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:00, closed)
No harm done

(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 8:09, closed)
Took me a while...
... but click
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 21:30, closed)
^What bitch tits said^

(, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 10:23, closed)
Ayyyeeeeeeeee

(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 22:55, closed)

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