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So, new guy moves into the flat and what's the first thing he says?
Have you considered buying an envelope rack so it's easier to sort through the post? I just like, stood there, astounded. I said 'I hadn't considered it, but now you mention it not especially.'

The rest of the flat (but not the Russian) are going to take him for a drink tonight.

EDIT: Dave Trouser had a point....Or did he?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:52, archived)
smyls

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:02, archived)
Fuck off SFligh
That was satisfying. Now I know why everybody else does it!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:04, archived)
Part of the groovy gang now ain't ya pal.
(The groovy gang is everyone other than me they all pick on me)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:50, archived)
Mark from the Peep Show?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:12, archived)
I'm not sure how you want me to respond to this post.
There doesn't seem to be any interactive prompt, such as a question.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:21, archived)
Kinda like
"Dave Corduroy Pants will you suck me off?"
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:01, archived)
Do any of you actually use the "friend" feature on here?
You should add me because I am popular and it will in turn make you popular too.

Alt: How high can you jump? No, really, do you even know?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:36, archived)
nah you're alright

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:37, archived)
Yeah ok
the baby with the one vote baboon heart.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:39, archived)
not clickin that, might be a virus. Soz.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:44, archived)
I've jumped off that roof ... that's probably about 8 foot

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:52, archived)
*thumbs up*

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:53, archived)
alright

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:06, archived)
spiffing

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:09, archived)
Alright DJ Rich?
Fancy clickin' dis?

goo.gl/7aIiBP

Clicking may cause disappointment.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:40, archived)
You should put it on 4chan too!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:45, archived)
is 4chan still going? meet, fight or fuck nonsense, dt would like that

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:56, archived)
Dunno really, didn't all them celeb tits pics appear on 4chan? I've never really understood it.
Just noticed a lot of referrals from there on the popularity contest poll thing.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:57, archived)
I think it is Japanese or saink, I don't speak tingtong

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:21, archived)
I've heard it's a terrible place - you wouldn't like it.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:23, archived)
I would never do that.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:21, archived)
fuck off dozers

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:10, archived)
mr.h

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:11, archived)
rich

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:12, archived)
h

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:13, archived)
alright mr lovely

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:15, archived)
I am currently 71% alright.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:17, archived)
alright, mortal wombat

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:19, archived)
bit islamophobic

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:23, archived)
It's not a phobia if you hate them for a good reason.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:27, archived)
I hate them because they killed Jesus.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:16, archived)
I had to have a meeting with the son of god on Monday.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:21, archived)
boring boring burnley

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:43, archived)
upset

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:56, archived)
couldn't even beat man u, might as well give up now

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:58, archived)
Alright dozer not sure but have we ever rubbed nob ends?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:08, archived)
you gave me balanitis

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:11, archived)
Thats herpes you needy spastic

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:12, archived)
#winning - 73% popularity.
88 votes, 64 to me. Suck it losers! LOL.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:37, archived)
I am listening to Leonard Cohen's adaptation of La complainte du partisan
S'nice
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:39, archived)
Goodo.
I just farted.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:40, archived)
TWINS!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:41, archived)
DUBS

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:41, archived)
I met him in a at once.
Nice bloke. My dad had an erection so large he could pole vault to the toilet from Scotland
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:47, archived)
was your dad wearing a kimono at the time?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:49, archived)
No but the other night I went around to pick up some toothpaste
And he was wearing a dishdash. Swings and roundabouts innit
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:52, archived)
Champ!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:56, archived)
Since his stroke he doesn't give a fuck
He told my missus once when playing articulate "you are as thick as a newspaper" we lol'd
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:16, archived)
FUCK OFF!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:50, archived)
I am with you on this one

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:53, archived)
you can 'n' all

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:53, archived)
Safety in numbers innit

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:16, archived)
Fuck off, I meant.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:18, archived)
It's alright I meant
Get bent MONO
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:19, archived)
yes

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:23, archived)
42 votes so far. I had no idea there were so many people on this forum

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:59, archived)
The amount of sock puppet accounts
That wankers have there's only really 3 of us I am Dave Trouser
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:17, archived)
Why isn't there a "none of the above" option?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:22, archived)
* changes name to "none of the above"*
Or before anyone strikes it NONCE of the above
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:28, archived)
50 now, and 37 of those for me.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:34, archived)
You have 36 other accounts
I hope you are proud of yourself

^ needy spastic ^
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:41, archived)
Jealous.
Voting has nothing to do with user account on b3ta.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:43, archived)
^ doesn't understand things and is still upset with the potential to get more upset ^

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:47, archived)
you do realise that if you win
you will have to go to Battersea Dogs home and finger a dog while Rob and others
wank themselves unconscious watching you give stink digits to dogs.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 17:11, archived)
Hi everyone! It's that time of the week again when you can vote for your favourite /talk person of the week!
b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post2362253

Winner gets to be mod for a week
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:52, archived)
by the way, you're not supposed to vote for yourself

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:55, archived)
This is going to cause upset

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:57, archived)
I think it'll be fine, I was originally going to do 'who is the biggest prick here who should fuck off and die in a fire' but I didn't want to upset him.
he knows who he is anyway
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:59, archived)
:(

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:06, archived)
:|

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:07, archived)
:D

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:07, archived)
You think about me too much

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:08, archived)
:(

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:10, archived)
:~{)

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:11, archived)
anybody who doesn't vote dt is getting a kicking

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:58, archived)
Kick me then you spastic

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:09, archived)
No way I'm clickin that

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:00, archived)
can someone vote for me? I'm banned from qftw

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:02, archived)
Just go here:
www.palmnet.me.uk/minipolls/vote.php?id=6743
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:06, archived)
all of those people are the absolute worst
ALL of them
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:06, archived)
I can count to 10 using my thumbs and fingers

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:08, archived)
:(((((((((

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:11, archived)
You can borrow any of mine if you are missing some of your own.
Love you, Rick.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:16, archived)
chrs, yer I had to have a bit of index finger removed in June

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:20, archived)
that's a bugger, I lost a bit of the tip of my finger in a crash with a car
but it healed over and is no recognisably fingerlike.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:22, archived)
yeah but you're still gonna make the winner mod right?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:09, archived)
They're worse than that really

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:09, archived)
ban them all
you're a rubbish fascist ... you never ban anybody
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:14, archived)
Wha's the point of being a mod on a tin pot forum that only about 10 people visit
if you don't throw your weight around a bit. I'd go mad with it. One unreasonable act per day.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:23, archived)
the only way this place will be put out of its misery is blatant mod bullying

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:25, archived)
If I had code access I'd do stuff like embed background audio into /talk that plays after 5 minutes.
It would be a loud and sudden air horn or some shit.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:26, archived)
and yet they don't make you God

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 18:19, archived)
MEATSNAKE 4 life
#prayformeaty #meaty
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:12, archived)
Y4CKR
That is all.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:17, archived)
was that gonz site?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:24, archived)
I was banned from there for doing something hilarious.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:29, archived)
You should try it here sometime

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:32, archived)
ZING

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:32, archived)
POW

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:32, archived)
Oh well played!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:32, archived)
That's a shame.
It's so much more alive there than here.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:43, archived)
I think that annoying bird who gonz fancied got upset with me.
:(
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:59, archived)
Oh dear.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:04, archived)
me? Was it me?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 16:19, archived)
4rthur lol
b3ta lol
g4mm4 lol
d3lt4 lol
3ps1l0n lol
FUCKING Z3TA ROFL!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:32, archived)
I'm a gentile so I was banned.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:39, archived)
Really?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:41, archived)
Get fucked
Dave. Tell me about your trousers
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:51, archived)
Who's upset?
Where the fuck is Dave Drainpipes?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:47, archived)
I'm getting there.
Give it a couple of hours.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:49, archived)
Alright gloves.
Apparently my airways don't take too kindly to taking the wrong drugs.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:58, archived)
British Airways don't take kindly to any drugs IME
unfortunately
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:03, archived)
It's IMEI you spastic
You will never get your phone back at this rate
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:07, archived)
Have you tried sticking your head in an oven?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:08, archived)
Couldn't get past your children
When they are finished at it it will give it a go
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:10, archived)
Can't you just TRY leaving the children alone for 5 minutes MW?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:11, archived)
Michael Jackson is on a boat when it starts sinking
The captain shouts "women and children first!" Michael Jackson replies "is there enough time?"
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:00, archived)
you are, clearly

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:51, archived)
^ upset

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:57, archived)
If you ban Spanishfly, I promise
PROMISE to stop being a prick
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:01, archived)
If you ban two hats I PROMISE PROMISE
To print off the Michael give edition of the newsletter and photograph my penis resting on it
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:08, archived)
how much longer are you going to allow this to continue?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:15, archived)
Allow what?
Because he is a moderator of a text based forum that is frequented by more trolls than actual members that partake in conversations he will finger me in the arse? Get fucked
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:02, archived)
Alright Micto/mongy

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:02, archived)
I'm not going to say who I really am because I'm worried it will upset you more

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:36, archived)
You have two more before you get one free:
s24.postimg.org/b1a6fqs3p/breakdown.jpg
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:52, archived)
Get fucked Hillsborough

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:57, archived)
hey there
I'm not right fussed, hun.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:00, archived)
I have a date...
...I wonder how I'll fuck this one up.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:10, archived)
WITH GUSTO!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:11, archived)
Hey grandma
I wish you the best of luck with your date and I hope it goes great.

It could be worse you could have an imaginary woman like most people (Dr shambolic)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:13, archived)
Thanks SF
I hope your day improves and that it leads to a successful Friday and fun weekend.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:19, archived)
Whatever you do, don't be yourself

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:13, archived)
I hope you burn
Happy candles you wax muppet
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:16, archived)
I might try being myself
just this once.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:20, archived)
thing is, if it works out you are going to have to keep that up

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:27, archived)
oh man, I fucking hate me, that sounds terrible

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:30, archived)
As if we needed any more proof that you're actually Mortal Wombat

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:07, archived)
Alright Frank

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:09, archived)
Nah, if I was frank I'd probably say something hilarious like 'wanky wanky wanky wank wank'

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:12, archived)
Aren't you the guy who admitted to hacking into girls' hotmail accounts
then pretended that you were joking?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:15, archived)
haha yeah but not really I'm just a 'comedy' account set up to help bully him.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:16, archived)
so you say

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:17, archived)
Fine, I'm that guy then, what are you gonna do about it?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:18, archived)
Nothing
there's nothing I could do, even if I wanted to. The actual Albert marshmallow is a creepy little man. That's his hang up, not mine.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:28, archived)
It's probably a member that pretends to have loads of money
And masturbates into his brothers socks
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:03, archived)
afternoon

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:19, archived)
sup MGT?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:20, archived)
This thread needs more ASCII Quo
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(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:50, archived)
Fucking hell, Chrome really shits up line spacing.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:52, archived)
sweet quo-ing

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:54, archived)
Here's a nice publicity shot from Bula Quo, which I'm sure is probably a very good film.
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~~~+++~~~~~+++++~~==++~~~=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~~~~:~~=~~~~~~:~~:~~::~~~~~:::~~:::~~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~+:~~~~~~~~+=~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~::::::::::::::::~~:::~~~~~~~~~~::::

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:47, archived)
Hello MGT

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:21, archived)
Tw'ats

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:42, archived)
I got called MGT yesterday :(
I thought it a bit harsh
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:21, archived)
fuck off MGT

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:31, archived)
Get fucked spanishfly

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:04, archived)
Die in a fire baldmonkey you fat ballbag

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:12, archived)
is baldmonkey Frank?
And Gonz?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:20, archived)
I'd like to make a formal apology for dinting one of your croquet balls that time
I was drunk but that isn't an excuse.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:23, archived)
you monster

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:25, archived)
I was young, stupid, I didn't know my own strength.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:26, archived)
I can't help thinking that a hybrid kendo-croquet would make an excellent full-contact ball sport

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:32, archived)
you're all about the full contact with the balls, aren't you?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:33, archived)
I set 'em up ... you punch them in the balls

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:37, archived)
well I've got 3 sets of armour here
no croquet bits and pieces though...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:33, archived)
Kro-Ke

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:34, archived)
we do sometimes set up in the wooded area
and play "cross country croquet" around the trees.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:37, archived)
you guys be KERAZY!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:39, archived)
yeah and then we sit around eating smarties and polos out of sample pots

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:42, archived)
I can't believe I've never been invited to a cross-country croquet and pisspot polo party.
:(
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:50, archived)
CAN EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT THEIR RETARDED KIDS!!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:42, archived)
we were all drunk,
pretty sure the balls were drunk too to be honest, they wouldn't go in a straight line anyway.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:31, archived)
There's a huge difference between "dinting" and "denting"
You need to make sure you are 100% sure you fucked something up
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:06, archived)
alright mgt, sup

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:46, archived)
You make no sense. You are supposed to come to my house. YOU COME TO MY HOUSE? You don't know understand me.
You make no sense. You are supposed to come to my house. YOU COME TO MY HOUSE? You don't know understand me. SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:32, archived)
you're shit at this
try again somewhere else
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:15, archived)
How's your dumb wife? Has she managed to raise her IQ above the bread she makes?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:16, archived)
none of this makes sense outside your minuscule head

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:40, archived)
Carry on

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:04, archived)
Can I stay, I'll clean up the mess in the corner.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:16, archived)
It all depends
Dr shambles "wife" will be shitting in the kitchen about now
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:19, archived)
After she's cleaned the pizza oven

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:20, archived)
Shit I was supposed to post this in /QOTW
Genuine phone call I just had with a delivery man on the phone
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:15, archived)
I think it's about time you went to bed.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:16, archived)
Alright gloves

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:16, archived)
yeah. Although I'm working outside of my house, in a field...I had just got used to working from home.
On the upside i have found 8 four leaf clovers, and 3 five leafers, so I think i might be in luck
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:18, archived)
It means you are probably going to be killed by mutant clovers
Just back away quietly
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:20, archived)
dont think so, I lamenated some before and sold them on ebay for 3-5 quid each, I reckon I'm gonna find loads on this job

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:22, archived)
Ok, let's just get it over with
Spanishfly beakers
Someone calls him a beaker
Spanishfly accuses that person of being "upset"
Someone interesting starts a new thread
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:16, archived)
^ upset

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:17, archived)
Haha yeah we have a right laugh here don't we

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:11, archived)
all mods need to report at Battersea Dogs home
at 12 for mod meeting.

__.·-"-·.
_/) c c (\
(/(_ O _)\)
_(``)~(´´)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:46, archived)
All of them?
Are you sure? Can't just one of them go and then report to the rest?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:49, archived)
we need as many fingers as possible.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:51, archived)
is this one of those hilarious jokes?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:55, archived)
this is serious business

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:56, archived)
It's a shame that us normal folk aren't invited.
I've never liked dogs very much and feel I could be a positive influence on any dog euthanasia team.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:00, archived)
always the bridesmaid never the bride :(

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:03, archived)
I'm not sure that it is, GMoS
Listen to this instead:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3HemKGDavw
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:58, archived)
I do like this song.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:01, archived)
Perfect
As do I.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:06, archived)
this is what I am currently earpiping.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSAFjna9hJg
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:08, archived)
That's excellent
That is 100% my cup of tea. Are there any albums of his I should look out for?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:12, archived)
His one album got reissued not long ago

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:17, archived)
He only brought out one album
Blues Run The Game... it's a very good album.

He's got a sad life story, he only started playing the guitar after a horrible accident involving a furnace fire exploding whilst he was at school, it killed a lot of his classmates. His music teacher gave him a guitar to play to help distract him from the pain of the burns.

He later got paid out for the accident when he was old enough, and he lived on it in a hedonistic but unhappy fashion, ultimately not keeping tabs upon it. He was found by someone later in life in a park, he'd been living on the street for quite some time and had a fairly serious injury from kids shooting him with a BB/air gun, which I believe ultimately blinded him in the one eye.

He was taken in by the man who found him, and lived a few more years before passing away, too young.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:18, archived)
Wow!
That sounds like one of thsoe dreadful movies they put on during the day. I'll definitely check out the album though, cheers.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:24, archived)
It's not called Blues Run the Game though - it is eponymously titled.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:26, archived)
Although there may have been an anthology with that title

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:26, archived)
sorry, you are right.
The version I have is the Anthology version which is called Blues Run The Game and has his eponymous album first and other recordings bolted on at the end
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:27, archived)
I'm not trying to show you up as a liar or anything

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:29, archived)
this is one of my all-time faves
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA8-ZOuKetU
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:32, archived)
ah man, now I've just had to add a load of Son House & Leadbelly to my music queue
ta :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:34, archived)
Yeah I love all of that
Still waiting for someone to buy this for me: honestjons.com/shop/artist/Southern_Folk_Heritage
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:43, archived)
Like, as a candle day present or summat...

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:59, archived)
Fine.
Be like that then.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:59, archived)
well this is awkward

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 12:04, archived)
it seems almost compulsory to have a horrible life if you make that sort of music when you're young

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:28, archived)
I sometimes wonder about making my kids' lives more miserable in the hope that they may one day go on to create good art

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:30, archived)
That's why my parents were unkind to me
But I showed them....I've done fuck all with my life! SUCKERS!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:31, archived)
I'm planning it just for the fun
(I'm not actually planning anything of the sort, other than standard low-level dad jokes and embarrassment)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 11:32, archived)
morning

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:54, archived)
naww, look at the widdle candles
happy day, tangles. hope you've enjoyed the last 6 years despite spending them here
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:13, archived)
can I be mod for the day?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:25, archived)
what would be your first action?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:36, archived)
ban manolith
banolith
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:36, archived)
post nudes

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:45, archived)

nudes skinks
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:49, archived)
Probably step 2can for an hour or so, revoke all of your mod privileges and post nudes

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:49, archived)
ok, you started strong but it went downhill
also, you don't need to be a mod to post nudes *wink*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:11, archived)


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HHHMMMMMM:I:.:.. . . . . ...:.:IIHIHHHIMMMMMHI:.AHMMMMMMMMM:HHHHHHHHHH
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VHHHMMMMMMA:I:::.:. . . . .. .:IHIHHHHHIMMMV"AMMMMMMMMMMMM:HHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHMMMMMA:I::.. .. . . ...:.:IHHHHHHIM"AMMMMMMMMMMMM:HHHHHHHHHHHHHH
VHHHHHMMMMMA:I:.:.. . . . .. .:IHIHHHHI:AMMMMMMMMMMMIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
VHHHHHMMMMMA:I::.:. . . .. .:.:IHHHV:MMMMMIMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHV::.
VHHHHMMMMMMA:::.:..:.. . .. .:::AMMMMMMMM:IIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV:::..
HHHHHMMMIIIA:I::.:.:..:... AMMMMMMMMMM:IIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::::::
VHHHHMMIIIIMA:I::::.::..AMMMMMMMMMMM:IIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::::::::
HHHHMIIIIMMMA:II:I::AIIIMMMMMMMMMM:IIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV:::::::::
VHHHHIIIMMMMMMA:I:AIIIIIIMMMMMM:IIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::::::::"'
HHHHHIIMMMMMMIMAAIIIIIIIIMMM:IIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV:::::""'
VHHHIIIIMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIII:IIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::""'
VHHIIIMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV
VHHIMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHV
VHHHMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHV
VHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHHHHHV

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:14, archived)
Is this what a naked girl looks like?
That's horrible!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:35, archived)
ban me, I'm right horrible I am.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:05, archived)
unusual for a qftw poster not to of flounced and had their account deleted and started a new one, so congratulations on not being a fagot

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:17, archived)
right leaving 4ever now

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:25, archived)
see you next Tuesday

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:33, archived)
I'll leave the spelling of your hate-speech unchallenged (unless you're comparing him to a bassoon), but:
of have
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:30, archived)

_+88_
_+880_
_++88_
_++88_
__+880_________________________++_
__+888________________________+88_
__++880______________________+88_
__++888_____+++88__________+++8_
__++8888__+++8880++88____+++88_
__+++8888+++8880++8888__++888_
___++888++8888+++888888++888_
___++88++8888++8888888++888_
___++++++888888888888888888_
____++++++88888888888888888_
____++++++++000888888888888_
_____+++++++000088888888888_
______+++++++00088888888888_
_______+++++++088888888888_
_______+++++++088888888888_
________+++++++8888888888_
________+++++++0088888888_
________++++++0088888888_
________+++++0008888888_
________#############_
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:22, archived)
\m/(>_<)\m/

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:26, archived)
happy candle day, you pointless shit stain

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:22, archived)
yes this is a very special occasion

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:26, archived)



________________$$$$
______________$$____$$
______________$$____$$
______________$$____$$
______________$$____$$
______________$$____$$
__________$$$$$$____$$$$$$
________$$____$$____$$____$$$$
________$$____$$____$$____$$__$$
$$$$$$__$$____$$____$$____$$____$$
$$____$$$$________________$$____$$
$$______$$______________________$$
__$$____$$______________________$$
___$$$__$$______________________$$
____$$__________________________$$
_____$$$________________________$$
______$$______________________$$$
_______$$$____________________$$
________$$____________________$$
_________$$$________________$$$
__________$$________________$$
__________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$




FUCK OFF TANGLES
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:30, archived)
fat fingers

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:31, archived)
It's DBT

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:33, archived)
congratulations please fuck of back to QOTW

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:37, archived)
stepping you for this

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:49, archived)
hey, look at you
all candly
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:01, archived)
im only 6 u nonce

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:02, archived)
I like my ladies like I like my dice roll
D6 +2 initiative... and by that I mean, in a box on a shelf untouched for years.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:05, archived)
I went to see Marissa Nadler last night
it was great. She's bloody acers live.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:03, archived)
yeah she sounds alright, but I have limited capacity for the likes of her

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:10, archived)
that's OK
I really dislike Iggy Azalea
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:20, archived)
I think all of my female singer songwriter needs are covered by Nina Nastasia

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:25, archived)
she seems alright
I think I'll stick to Marissa this morning though.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:30, archived)
Yayzorz!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:26, archived)
Tangled up in blue, tangled up in blue
Under the table we must go, e-i-e-i-e-i-o
Tangled up in blue, tangled up in blue
He's all tangled, really really tangled
Tangled up in blue!
He don't eat meeeeaaaaaaaaat
*jazz hands*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:28, archived)
That's beautiful man
*wipes away tear*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:34, archived)
You're welcome
*wipes knob on curtain*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 10:40, archived)
Morning
I am up at this time because I haven't slept yet. Apparently if you take someone off one kind of medication and give them another type and neglect to tell said person that the dosage is different then said person doesn't sleep all night and has to e mail his boss with some piss poor excuse about drugs
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:24, archived)
swallow a rat's cock you prickarse

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:28, archived)
smyls

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:33, archived)
I hope you get nobrot

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:36, archived)
Now this I can get behind
Alt: fuck off dozers
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:38, archived)
I sincerely hope that spanishfly messily commits suicide live on webcam

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:02, archived)
you can't say that
I hope he botches the attempt and is left with crippling damage that slowly destroys him over a couple of years during which time his bitterness distances him from his few remaining friends so that he dies alone and in agony.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:04, archived)
I think you speak for all of us when you say that

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:05, archived)
Your mama had a fruit child

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:30, archived)
so sorry 2 here that hun u no were we r if u need 2 chat

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:33, archived)
bit gay mate
Also ... this is a mongy-free thread so we can all be honest about what we really think about fishing
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:53, archived)
It's an activity which some people find enjoyable. Good for them, I say. Personally I have no feelings one way or the other about it.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:55, archived)
whenever I don't have an opinion on something I toss a coin and then argue vehemently and pointlessly for one or other position

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:01, archived)
If it makes them happy, good for them, I've got no problem with it.
As long as they don't start coming over here and doing it front of me.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:24, archived)
start drinking lots of coffee
this will reverse everything that has happened.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:38, archived)


╔═╗╔═╗╔╦╗ ╦ ╦╔═╗╦ ╦ ╔═╗╔═╗╔═╗╔╗╔ ╦ ╦╦ ╦╔╗╔
║ ╦║╣ ║ ║║║║╣ ║ ║ ╚═╗║ ║║ ║║║║ ╠═╣║ ║║║║
╚═╝╚═╝ ╩ ╚╩╝╚═╝╩═╝╩═╝ ╚═╝╚═╝╚═╝╝╚╝ ╩ ╩╚═╝╝╚╝

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:43, archived)
so it's come to this, a fucksocks morning thread

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:13, archived)
Fuck off, I get enough of this shit at work

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:25, archived)
BUMHOLES
I mean, morning
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:22, archived)
alright, don't forget it's international vulture awareness day tomorrow, beware

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:18, archived)
What it's THURSDAY and there's already been a MORNING thread
Who said this place was dead on it's arse?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 2:48, archived)
obama aint here

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 3:13, archived)
lol all my mates are tweeting about obamas helicopter keeping them awake circling town
bet dovers is fast asleep
but he's not my mate so it dont matter
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 3:33, archived)
Funk that black bastard
He's a racist homo yo!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 4:17, archived)
morning

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:03, archived)
Morning

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:03, archived)
MOrning

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:05, archived)
Hello big whiny baby.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:05, archived)
What do you want?

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:19, archived)
morning

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:04, archived)
This morning.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:05, archived)
My doctor said I have Schizophrenia
But you know what "they say"
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 22:52, archived)
Do "they" say "piss off, Spanishfly"?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 22:55, archived)
I approve of this.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:03, archived)
I've never understood why you weren't made Top Mod.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:10, archived)
i think they said you should top yourself

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:16, archived)
The only voices worth listening to
are the ones telling you to set fire to buildings
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:23, archived)
like that useless specimen could start a real fire
he'd be found in the morning doing snotty sobs in the middle of a pile of damp rags and used matches
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:27, archived)
piss into this tube?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:30, archived)
I'm sorry, it's terminal?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:36, archived)
no ... pretty sure that's just you

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:38, archived)
no doctor ever asked you for a urine sample?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:38, archived)
not through a tube

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:42, archived)
no... INTO a tube,
a fucking urine sample tube you bellend
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:52, archived)
I think the word "tube" means something else for the human race, you fucking Martian.
The thing you piss into for the entertainment of childish medics is called a sample pot or sample bottle.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:31, archived)
You are wrong and MGT is right
There. I said it. Never again.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 7:58, archived)
I've got a bag of them in front of me.
If they're asking you to piss directly into the test tube then they're having a massive laugh at you and your pissy fingers.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 8:02, archived)
It looks like you started to write a

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 0:04, archived)
dunno, is it anything to do with scizophrenia?
because that is a massively misunderstood illness and it would be nice if someone said something relevant and useful about it for once instead of mistaking it for some kind of multiple personality disorder or something else which it really really isnt
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 3:14, archived)
Wake up.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:23, archived)

and smell the cat food in your bank account
But don't try to stop the tail that wags the hound

D, world Destruction
O'ver and Overature
N, do I Need apostrophe
T need this Torture

Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around

No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated & sad and that is beautiful
They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying,
Deputy dog dong a ding dang depadepa
Deputy dog dong a ding dang depadepa

D, world Destruction
O'ver and Overature
N, do I Need apostrophe
T need this Torture

Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around

I don't want to live in this world anymore
I don't want to live in this world

Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:29, archived)
now tell me where my name comes from

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:10, archived)
I can't divulge that information, soz.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:28, archived)
whatever happened to the rules of /b/ Dave, they are all taking credit when clearly ebaumsworld did it

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:38, archived)
Rules are for losers.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:51, archived)
I'm never playing pool with you, it'll kick off, you probably take 2 shots on the black

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:55, archived)
It's the first ball I pot.
Instant win.

*sunglasses fall from the sky neatly landing over my eyes*

DEAL WITH IT.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:57, archived)
but that is against the uk pool rules, I've had this row in a pub before, it is just a re rack

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:58, archived)

The Author

Prof. Oldfather's General Introduction provides an overview of Diodorus' career, his work, and the manuscripts.
The Text of Diodorus Siculus on LacusCurtius

As usual, I retyped the text rather than scanning it: not only to minimize errors prior to proofreading, but as an opportunity for me to become intimately familiar with the work, an exercise which I heartily recommend. (Well-meaning attempts to get me to scan text, if successful, would merely turn me into some kind of machine: gambit declined.)
This transcription has been minutely proofread. In the table of contents below, the sections are therefore shown on blue backgrounds, indicating that I believe the text of them to be completely errorfree. As elsewhere on this site, the header bar at the top of each chapter's webpage will remind you with the same color scheme. Should you spot an error, however . . . please do report it.
I give further details on the technical aspects of the site layout after the Table of Contents.
There is currently (Feb 14), that I know of, no complete English text of Diodorus online anywhere. Books 33‑40 of the Loeb edition cannot be put online since they remain under copyright, but Andrew Smith (Attalus.Org) has put up his own Web edition: those Books are linked below as well, on green backgrounds.

For the Greek text, the situation is somewhat similar. Almost all of it is online at Perseus again, in a mix of two editions (for those Books the Greek column in the table below is shown on white backgrounds). Books 33‑40 are also provided in a cross-linked edition by Andrew Smith: again, green backgrounds below. The fragmentary Books 6‑8, however, seemed not to be found anywhere else, so I put them up here.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:42, archived)
Hi Dave Trouser!!!

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:49, archived)
^ still upset

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:50, archived)
^always pointing the stump

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:51, archived)
RIO 2016 GO TEAM MONEY

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:53, archived)
Hello Meatsnake.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:51, archived)
Facebook is down lol

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:01, archived)
ebaumsworld did it
SEE DAVE
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:04, archived)
How will I see pictures of peoples dinners and ice bucket challenge videos now?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:09, archived)
Alright DT? The missus just took me to see the inbetweeners 2 for date night
I was pleasantly surprised with it as I had anticipated it to be totaly shit.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:03, archived)
you would of bet on it judging by the tv show

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:05, archived)
I thought it was amusing, not laugh out loud funny, but amusing

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:08, archived)
Like your posts on b3ta then

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:15, archived)
Yeah, I went there

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:16, archived)
you zinged in hard

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:32, archived)
#meatsnakefo'life

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:37, archived)
^upset

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:37, archived)
I thought the first one was better
the new one had some funny bits tho
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 22:30, archived)
Time to die....

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:16, archived)
Blimey, a zuki appears

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:33, archived)
Hello Godzuki

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 23:02, archived)
this place needs a kick up the arse and I think youre the one to do it

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 22:31, archived)
ARSEHOLES

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:27, archived)
was that the countdown conundrum

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:39, archived)
SHOELASER

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:50, archived)
bullying of the bumless

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:40, archived)
I am in the juicer
Alt: terrible bullying of arseless
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:55, archived)
Sumh

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:55, archived)
bit rude

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:00, archived)
haha arseholes yeah

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:05, archived)
smyas

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:18, archived)
going back to my roots

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:34, archived)
mousey brown with a lot of grey?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:43, archived)

👍
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:59, archived)
coloured things on talk? the fuck is this shit?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:03, archived)
terrible racism

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:11, archived)
they're a terrible race

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:12, archived)
japs are right racist cunts, just looked at a list of all emojis, only one indian and not a single black face on there

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:19, archived)
oh hang on
🌚
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:19, archived)
still more yellow faces than anything else tho

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:20, archived)
I'm sure if they knew you felt like that they'd be...
...velly solly!!!
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:29, archived)
SUPPLIES!

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 19:47, archived)
Sure, why not

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:00, archived)
obamas in town what should i say to him

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:09, archived)
offer him a pint of brains and some pork scratchings
if he refuses then you have cast iron proof that he's a terrorist
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:11, archived)
there's some graffiti on my way to work that says "fuck obama" i think that's a bit harsh
then there's two warships hanging about, and loads of police, i dunno, it all seems a bit "eggs without chips" if you know what i mean.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:15, archived)
I don't know what you mean but I'm going to be diplomatic and pretend that I do.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:20, archived)
if they keep on like this we'll go full battered sausage

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:42, archived)
god I'm hungry

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:56, archived)
hungry for knowledge

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:07, archived)
knowledge of the nearest chip shop

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:51, archived)
it's ok, doves has got it covered ta

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:12, archived)
Double your chances

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:13, archived)
forgot i had him on ignore

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:15, archived)
it's sad when families quarrel

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:17, archived)
we didnt quarrel i just didnt want to see his drug exploits

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:18, archived)
are you at home tonight?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:15, archived)
like, from about 6pm maybe

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:16, archived)
nah in work bro
off tomorrow tho why
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:17, archived)
was gonna suggest taking the dog for a walk and maybe for a pint too

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:24, archived)
but yeah ok, no problem, don't worry about me

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:24, archived)
oh right ok well nevermind
wanna go watch the anarchists tomorrow?
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:28, archived)
i'd love to, but i don't think they'll let us into the summit

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:29, archived)
omg politics!

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:41, archived)
Ask him if he'd ever consider letting me go twos up on michelle. tell him I have all my own teeth and I'm in a band

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:15, archived)
Ask him if your replica firearm looks like a real firearm?
You know the NSA and GCHQ just had a butchers at this and put me on a list.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:16, archived)
who was it who asked a policeman if calling them a cunt was an offence
i thought that was funny
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:17, archived)
not if you follow it with stable

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:21, archived)
cunt-stubble

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:37, archived)
Hello Mr President
It's a pleasure to meet you
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:27, archived)
disgusting

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:35, archived)
You know me, I speak my mind

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:41, archived)
you're so vain, you probably think this summit is about you

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:37, archived)
SSG8

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:42, archived)
I like this

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:44, archived)
Tell him you have a plan for Israel
but we can't talk of it here...the walls have ears
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:42, archived)
This terrible post ^^^ seems to have slipped by un-replied-to.
So I am replying to say I did a LOL.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 20:10, archived)
tell him to fuck off and take his military bases with him

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:54, archived)
Then where will our girls get their chewing gum and stockings?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:58, archived)
boots

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:03, archived)
really the only real prison is bodily desire

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:07, archived)
alright

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:20, archived)
dearest b,
Smashing
m
x
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:24, archived)
tell him about /talk, we need new people

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:22, archived)
so yeah, obama's in my neighbourhood
anyone got any messages for him?
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:10, archived)
just tell him I said hi

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:12, archived)
yeah ok

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:30, archived)
Can you ask him to produce his birth certificate so I can check to see if he's eligible to be President of the United States or if he's actually just a Muslim born in Kenya?
Thanks.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:15, archived)
Great idea, maybe take some bananas to throw at him too, that always goes down well.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:26, archived)
your mum

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:29, archived)
at least she's not dead like SOME people's mums.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:30, archived)
what should i do if he refuses to show me his birth certificate?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:33, archived)
throw your shoes at him

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:36, archived)
i paid like £60 for these shoes

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:40, archived)
Maybe buy a cheap pair and take them with you?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:41, archived)
Steal some from a tramp, and throw them instead

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:09, archived)
ask him something tedious about palindromes,
Thanks.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:17, archived)
is there a longer palindrome than racecar?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:30, archived)
A man, a plan, a canal, something about a hat

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:36, archived)
Aibohphobia
is a joke term used for the fear of palindromes.

Malayalam

the Dravidian language of Kerala

Rotavator

A soil tilling machine...

there are plenty of palindromic sentences though.
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:37, archived)
i'm going to click that i like this
i think this forum should be more educational
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:39, archived)
If I typed google.com would that get a like as well?

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:44, archived)
/talk needs a 'Don't like' button just for you

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:48, archived)
#hismeatsnakebringsalltheboystotheyard

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:01, archived)
Do you really like it? Is it, is it wicked?
#imglovinitglovinitglovinit
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:03, archived)
SELECTA!

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:07, archived)
You are a pair of prize twats

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:26, archived)
You probably mean "educative" rather than "educational"
Educative refers to something that educates. Educational is something that pertains to education.

Like "informative" and "informational".
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:47, archived)
I find this very informational
look at me, being all troublesome like an irksome brute
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:55, archived)
troublational like an irkative brute

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:58, archived)
I found this post to be very usefive

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:56, archived)
Sometimes being so correctative seems a little confrontationful.

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:00, archived)
go fuck yourself, nobody cares

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:06, archived)
something that educates pertains to education

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:13, archived)
Satan oscillate my metallic sonatas

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:39, archived)
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:48, archived)
(noun) a really big boob

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:51, archived)
Boobs are awesome

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:02, archived)
David Caneron is in my area he said to tell Obama
"Get fucked" just passing the message on
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:18, archived)
cameron and obama are visiting a school together near here

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:34, archived)
I am in your 'hood then

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:43, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7014383
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:20, archived)
i'll show him your artwork xxx

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:35, archived)
just the usual: "Word up B. Are you a rider?"

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:21, archived)
i might roll up to the celtic manor blasting out some snoop dogg
they'll probably have me in the nato summit
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:36, archived)
Nah, he KNOWS he still owes me that pint.
The tight fucker.
:(
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:32, archived)
ask if he wants to come to the pub for my birthday next month

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:52, archived)
get him drunk, take his power, and rule the united states as the overlord obamanolith

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:06, archived)
which pub?
i might turn up and just watch you
(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:07, archived)
fat fox, prolly

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 17:11, archived)
you know he is black yer

(, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:07, archived)

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