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[challenge entry] yawn...

From the General election: Photoshop Labour challenge. See all 346 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! spassmonkey, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 14:57, archived)
# global wanking
if we all come at the same time the sea-level will rise by 2 metres or something
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 14:59, archived)
# bye bye Southport
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:06, archived)
# Damage Cost Total: £1.85
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:15, archived)
# haha
caused £15 million pounds worth of renovation you mean
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:15, archived)
# 6 billion people, half of which are male,
each depositing 5 ml of population paste = 15 million litres (or 6 olympic-sized swimming pools). Divide 1000 to make cubic metres and then by 2/3 * 510,072,000,000,000 m^2 (area of surface area of the Earth * 2/3 for the liquid bit) and that gives a sea-level rise of 4.4 x 10^-11 m, or a little over 1/2 the distance between the atoms of hydrogen and oxygen in a water molecule.

(edit: 1/2, not 1/20 of the distance.)
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:08, archived)
# WELL LETS ALL LOOK AT PROFESSOR BORIS AND HIS 'MATHS SKILLS'
YAH BOO!

actually I'm amazed you did that!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:09, archived)
# it's either theory, or he tries the practical
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:10, archived)
# Just like my vision of parliament.
My member is horribly flayed.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:12, archived)
# Sorry for the TJ
Archie - quick question for you: Human Target - opinions?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:17, archived)
# not seen it yet, save for a couple of trailers
I shall *consult* the internet and let you know.
your thoughts?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:19, archived)
# Well, I'm up to episode 8 and
I'd say it's worth your time. Ep 7 was a bit weak, overall pretty good. Lots of familiar faces front and behind the camera, too. 24 bods directing, Guest stars we all know (and love), etc etc.
I always like to sense check against your unerring taste, sir.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:22, archived)
# I think I'd be interested in a film direct by 24 Bods
I have a suspicion it might be massively trippy and have apples in it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:30, archived)
# like this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwpouzNli8A
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:33, archived)
# *mushrooms*
Whoa, dude.....
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:33, archived)
# *fires up the internet-o-matic*
leave it with me, with give it a suitable gander, squire
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:33, archived)
# Good Stuff.
Hope you like it.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:41, archived)
# Me too...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:12, archived)
# have you considered a career as an evil genius?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:17, archived)
# Have you seen the rent on hollowed-out volcanoes recently?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:19, archived)
# hmm
yes but once the MP Expenses rules on 2nd homes start there will be a glut of them on the market
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:21, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:23, archived)
# Fuck, I better get wanking then.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:11, archived)
# Speaking of which, I saw an ad for wanking on the Tube home yesterday. Sperm Donor London or some shit.
The logo was a cock. I must see if I can find it.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:12, archived)
# And here it is...
www.londonspermbank.com/
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:13, archived)
# I love how they describe the process
as "an inconvience". Only if it happens on the tube, no?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:15, archived)
# Depends if you're the 'wanker' or the 'wankee'.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:17, archived)
# pffft

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:21, archived)
# *starts wanking*
*profits*
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:16, archived)
# I saw that in The Metro!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:15, archived)
# your right!I just checked you'd done the math
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:12, archived)
# Nice to see that university education being put to use.
Better than my last paper: pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/cg9015349
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:18, archived)
# unlucky, Silvio
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:21, archived)
# haha
Boris - are you Jürg Hauser?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:25, archived)
# Nope!
Nor, Silvio.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:31, archived)
# Iwan Zimmermann?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:33, archived)
# Nope!
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:34, archived)
# Ted Bovis?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:36, archived)
# you must be Shi-Xia Liu then?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:37, archived)
# Errr.......
no.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:39, archived)
# I give up then
I know, I know - it says in your profile!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:40, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:42, archived)
# you've made up at least 3 words in the title alone!
you are Poindexter AICMFP :)
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:22, archived)
# That's de rigeur for academic papers
In my field we had some fucking losers whose names I won't mention (step forward Katherine Freese) calling a "model" after the fucking Cardassians. WHO SAID COSMOLOGISTS AREN'T FUNNY *Hnnrk hnnrk*

Not that that's a comment on Boris' title.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:28, archived)
# THE GEEKS ARE REVOLTING!
RUN AWAY!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:32, archived)
# Geeks have always been revolting
Except a few choice choices who are quite lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:34, archived)
# Honest, didn't make those up!
Although my paper did get the 1st hit on google for that word...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:33, archived)
# good god
one of my papers comes out first hit from google for a phrase in its title too. it's not *that* small a field. (i'll resist the urge to post anything more since i quite like the facade of anonymity here and there's only three authors on the paper.)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:36, archived)
# is everyone called Boris a mad scientist?
you should do some research into that and publish a paper
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:38, archived)
# Boris Karloff wasn't
:(
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:44, archived)
# Only three authors?
Only?
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:38, archived)
# Papers with 20+ authors are not that rare
though I'm in theory so 1-5 is more normal. My average is probably 2. In observational work you're beginning to look at about 100 authors.

A very quick hunt threw up this one with 34 authors, arxiv.org/abs/1003.0270
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:40, archived)
# A hundred is insane.
Mind you, I find the tradition in the sciences of senior members of staff getting authorship despite having made no material contribution insane.

I much prefer the humanities approach: you fuck off and write something, and possibly mention someone in the footnotes if you can remember their name.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:47, archived)
# we were talking about this over lunch today, actually
the conclusion was that the current system in our field is fucking lunatic but there's no easy way of dealing with it, and no good way of controlling senior professors getting their names added regardless of whether they've done anything or not.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:52, archived)
# I had an applicant for one of our Masters courses
who was a senior medical person from somewhere-or-other.

The publications section was 45 pages long.

Something tells me that he didn't have much involvement in most of the papers cited.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:55, archived)
# 'kin hell
that's a bit wrong
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:00, archived)
# Aye.
That's what I thought.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:06, archived)
# I've got a single-author paper on the way!
Yay me!

*crys a little*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:41, archived)
# Me too :)
I don't think it's actually *publishable* but if I made it publishable it'd be about 60 or 70 pages long and, frankly, fuck that for a lark. So I'm splitting it in two.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:45, archived)
# Almost all my stuff is single-author.
I don't really like it any other way...
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:48, archived)
# Rare thing in my field.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:50, archived)
# I think you'll find that you have made it up!
www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Aryl+Ammonium&word2=Arylammonium
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:36, archived)
# I've never made up words in the title.
But I have used awful puns.

And I know for a fact that there are several degree programmes and government or EU-funded projects that got their titles because of the need for a good acronym.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:35, archived)
# I'm going to write a paper titled
"Cosmological Unity and the Next Telescopic Surveys", which will be about the need for cosmologists to carefully plan future ground-based surveys to maximise the useful data we can recover from them without all the fractious bickering and girlish arguments that normally split these efforts apart.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:38, archived)
# I and a couple of colleagues once spent the best part of a day
trying to design a Masters course that'd fit around the acronym WEASEL.


We failed. But we did get a pub quiz team name.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:40, archived)
# And that's all that matters.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:43, archived)
# I believe you've been pipped, although inadvertently
www.theregister.co.uk/2007/11/09/nanotube_acronyms/
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:40, archived)
# oh yeah i remember that
different field. i'll get away with it :)

I'd make one around "wankers" but that K is a killer.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:43, archived)
# Keratin
probably
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:45, archived)
# Not much use in cosmology, alas
"Killing" would work but has to be followed by "vector" or "tensor". "Kretschmann" would work but has to be followed by "scalar", "curvature" or "invariant". (Actually I'm buggerd if I know what the Kretschmann scalar for cosmology is. Quite possibly it's even zero.) There's a stupid theory called Kruskaton cosmology but I think may actually be spelled Cruscaton.



Edit: Hmmm. Waves, Anisotropies and Null-surfaces in Kundt-Einstein Riemannian Spacetimes. That one *almost* works and gives us an added "Kundt" in the title, but it's damn near meaningless.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:47, archived)
# Klingon?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:01, archived)
# Hmmmm not a bad idea
I might email Katherine Freese and suggest a follow-up to the Cardassian model. They called it that because it "takes over the universe" and ends up dominating all other matter. Perhaps something that starts to take over the universe but then settles down would be a Klingon model.

This has legs.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:05, archived)
# I EXPECT TO BE CREDITED
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:15, archived)
# You shall be in the acknowledgements
"The authors wish to thank Griffy Savalas for useful and constructive discussions."
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:17, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:19, archived)
# SCIENCE!
(well, maths anyway)
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:20, archived)
# so what you're saying is
NOW MUSLIMS SAY THERE IS NO LINK BETWEEN WANKING AND RISE IN SEA LEVEL

(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:20, archived)
# I hope you're not trying to mathematically prove that wanking is pointless

But I am impressed by it regardless. Let's have more posts like this and less of the shit ones.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:22, archived)
# it may be pointless on a global scale
but I'm sure it could produce a rise in local water levels


nb. me and the gf managed to get places in the Vierdaagse, so we will be plaguing your countrymen with rubbish Dutch
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:25, archived)
# Yay, top effort.

Me and the gf are going hiking on Madeira next month ;)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:27, archived)
# Take some wellies
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 15:38, archived)
# har har


(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:03, archived)