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# I was going somewhere with this
but it took forever as it is and I forgot what it was and it would probably have been three weeks' work. So in the way of all half-assed British workmen I gave up halfway through and went to get a drink.



There would be a click for fucking humungous but I'm having issues uploading to B3tards.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:00, archived)
# ooo spoooky
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:02, archived)
# I shan't sleep tonight, that I can tell yer
How the hell are you and where the hell have you been, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:05, archived)
# i'm ok! and i'm a horrible cunt, i forgot about b3ta!!!!!
i wish i could say i've been doing some interesting..but no..

how are you darlin?
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:07, archived)
# YOU DISGUSTING PERSON
Hang around more! I'm doing pretty well. I'm drinking hot chocolate in Norway at the minute. Germany is, like, SO last year.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:10, archived)
# Norway...ooooo!
Still at least now you can burn down some churches and not get into trouble for looking at piccies of hitler...ace!

But seriously, is Norway fall of black metal twats, with the stupid make up?
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:11, archived)
# Yes. Yes, it is.
I work in a physics department and in this department, right by the door, is an advert for a black metal festival. Which obviously I'm going to go to, because I want to sit in a field in the north of fucking Norway with a pack of twats in make-up.

Though my plan for next weekend includes the rock club in the centre of town. Perhaps dressed in white.

On the other hand, this place is GREAT. I love it. And I can also look at Hitler without repurcussions! It's like I've been born again. HITLER HITLER HITLER JEWS GAS YEAH BABY.

(Plus so long as I stay out of hospital this year I should be in Brighton for the Great Escape. The Walkmen are headlining one of hte tents one of the days. I AM THERE.)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:14, archived)
# Fucking black metal.....I met a dutch guy online, taken a bit of a shine to me and all that and even said he'd sell his black metal collection for me..
which would be ashame as i'd fucking love to introduce it to my friend Mr Hammer and his wife Mrs Smashy Smashy, lovely couple.

And yay come to Brighton, it's full of twats and winos!!!!!

(I'm sure I have asked this before, but where you originally from? In fact I KNOW I've asked before..and now forgotten..ha.)

(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:20, archived)
# Ahahaha
Did you ask him if he'd give you his black metal collection to be smashed for you? As a sign of his affection he should do something that *doesn't* involve actually getting money.

I love Brighton! Highest density of wankers in a town full of posh people that I've ever seen. I like the Great Escape though.

(I'm from a town called Kettering north of London. It's main claim to fame is being in an episode of Peep Show where they featured a lap dancing club that certainly didn't exist last time I was out in Ketteirng.)




edit: hahaha. "she's so hyper she's probably really good at sex. but then i might have a toilet sleep slammed on my cock for no reason."
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:27, archived)
# freaky!
reminds me of jeepers creepers
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:02, archived)
# I'm sure I've seen Jeepers Creepers
I'm sure I remember something about a car and a stereo and a song at some point. But my memory's shot :(
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:05, archived)
# the cute lad from dodgeball is in it
his head ends up looking a bit like hers
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:06, archived)
# I've not seen Dodgeball either
I'm rubbish. But I have seen the South Park episodes about Dodgeball if that counts for anything?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:08, archived)
# not really, no
you should watch dodgeball, it's funny as fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:09, archived)
# Yeah?
Well YOU should watch the most recent episode of South Park, cos it's great.

When I have working internet I shall get hold of Dodgeball and watch it. It's got Will Ferrell or one of those pricks in it, right?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:11, archived)
# vince vaughn and ben stiller
i hate ben stiller usually, but he applies just the right amount of utter cuntishness to this one
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:14, archived)
# That's the one
I was watching Extras the other week. He did well in that, he looked like a total cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:16, archived)
# he is
but occasionally he gets it right
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:18, archived)
# Or is PR people do
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:27, archived)
# true
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:28, archived)
# BLUE STEEL!
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:25, archived)
# looked shit
didn't watch it
EDIT: yes, i know you meant zoolander. i Hate the fashion industry
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:27, archived)
# It was funny though. It takes the piss out of the fashion industry! :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:37, archived)
# i know, but it's like peter kay
i can't enjoy someone taking the piss out of something i hate if it actually involves showing the thing i hate
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:45, archived)
# the pirate?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:11, archived)
# no, although i totally would
i meant justin, the young lad
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:12, archived)
# I didn't like that film.
From the title I was expecting to be watching a kid's film. Not some dude killing kids and cutting their eyes out.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:14, archived)
# i rather enjoyed it
the second one wasn't too bad, either
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:15, archived)
# I didn't even know there was a second one.
I might watch it.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:28, archived)
# there are cheerleaders in it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:35, archived)
# he's an interesting fellow
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Salva

the first Jeepers Creepers is way more coherent and better shot than the second
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 23:01, archived)
# The next Mrs McCartney?
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:03, archived)
# Is Paul going for women without arms, half a throat, eyes and a mouth?
He's going up in the world!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:04, archived)
# well
all you need is love
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:05, archived)
# And a peg-leg
And an eyepatch
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:06, archived)
# that's pirates
you're thinking of pirates
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:09, archived)
# Really? Damn.
Is that for parrots as well?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:16, archived)
# sometimes
it all depends on the parrot
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:18, archived)
# Have you got a subscription to 'Realistic Love Doll Aficianado', each issue of which comes with a woman piece which you can collect over the weeks and gradually build your own lifelike plastic woman?
And you're eagerly awaiting next weeks issue which comes with her lower neck and right nipple?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:22, archived)
# ........
..............

yes
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:28, archived)
# Such a lovely knee !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:23, archived)
# chuffin gorgeous int'it?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:28, archived)
# NEXT WEEK: HOW TO SAW A LADY IN THREE BITS AND DISPOSE OF THE BODY
 
not bad at all
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:38, archived)
# Oh but that's easy
1) Find a lady
2) Drug her
3) Saw her in three. Lengthways is fun but horizontally is the classic
4) Eat her -- her entrails can be cleaned out and you can make sausages from the rest of the offal
5) Chuck the bones in your neighbours' garden
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:41, archived)
# but if you drug her you miss out on all that horrorshow screaming and struggling and pleading
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RkAZdceknw
 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:56, archived)
# Hmmm
You make a good point. Feel free to replace "drug" with "put in a padded room with thick walls" or at least "drag deep into the woods"
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 23:08, archived)