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# Great misheard headlines.
Jokes/Technique



De-ris: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10130840.stm
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:18, archived)
# hahahaha!
Also, is Beckham making a play for Smug Bastard's croissant there?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:19, archived)
# And he's carrying it around in a glass case
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:24, archived)
# My god it's like you've been in my house...
Edit - barryheadwound.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/img_2046.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:20, archived)
# what time does Nick Knowles and the team arrive?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:22, archived)
# They've just left...
That was actually taken on Monday! Picked up the keys 3 weeks ago and have been systematically battering the place since!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:27, archived)
# but still
that designer lady. mmmmm
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:39, archived)
# You've got it looking nice, I see.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:23, archived)
# It's a unique selling point
Call it "rustic"
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:24, archived)
# I'll see your house
and raise you my flat
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:27, archived)
#
Good effort!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:29, archived)
# I'll see your flat
and raise you my street
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:30, archived)
# pffft
and this is my front room

which we were using as our bedroom at the time (it was the only habitable room)
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:34, archived)
# jesus....
you lot are so grown up

Our kitchen's needed replastering since we moved in, but we figure, it's not bothering us, we'll do it when we sell.

The idea of living in a building site fills me with dread

(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:37, archived)
# haha
it's not very nice

for 3 months we had no heating, no hot water, no flushing toilet (had to use a bucket of water to flush it) - and on occasion no windows

but!

we still had 8mb broadband - priorities eh
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:40, archived)
# ...and all you were trying to do was hang a picture frame
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:29, archived)
# You should see what we found under the cladding - that niche in the top right...
DANGER UXB
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:31, archived)
# damn, what actually is that? A tiny water heater or something?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:33, archived)
# Yep. It's the old copper water boiler from I guess when it was originally built.
...and it was still half full. Ewww...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:38, archived)
# my cats would probably still drink that
weirdos
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:41, archived)
# blimey, that was probably a collectors item... When was the place built?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:42, archived)
# 'bout turn of (last) century.
It's scrapped now. Time and a place for that kind of sentiment.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:48, archived)
# A berm?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:36, archived)
# .....damn it, now I need to see a Peter Sellers movie
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:40, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:49, archived)
# hahahah! that would be an outstanding film...
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:54, archived)
# One of the reasons we decided on the place we bought
was because it still had two original Victorian fireplaces.

What's going on with your flue?
(as the bishop said to the actress)
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:32, archived)
# It's (rather ineptly) closed off...
See above for the void in the top right.

By the time I get home this evening it should all be nicely boxed in round the outside, leaving the brickwork on the interior exposed and ready for me to tart up and repoint.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:36, archived)
# Nice....
I really wish I had the aptitude for things like that, but I just haven't unless I've got a week or two off work.

Even then, I can be very ... unprofessional*

*botch job
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:42, archived)
# Oh we're paying someone to do it.
There are a whole host of things around the house that I trust myself to do to a decent standard, but plastering ain't one of them.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:52, archived)
# That is one TALL fireplace!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:59, archived)
# The thief will be in bed for the next few days
He caught the flue.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:20, archived)
# *prepares spanging pan*
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:22, archived)
# The police don't even need to strategise the raid
He's already got himself surrounded.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:23, archived)
# you deserve a spang for that.
alas I have none to give.
(I helped save b3ta! Filthy narwhal titty titty tits tits tits, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:22, archived)
# Gah!
I should have spent my time making a spang!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:23, archived)
# You can borrow Jeeves if you like...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:28, archived)
# I still love this!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 20 May 2010, 14:00, archived)
# that's just the right expression
:)
(I helped save b3ta! zozamaroo, Thu 20 May 2010, 14:35, archived)
# that grates
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:23, archived)
# a hearthy bowl of soup will cure it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:29, archived)
# hahahahaha!
Ze rotten thieves, zey left all my mantelpiece ornaments on ze floor!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:27, archived)
# haha Aces
:D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 20 May 2010, 14:07, archived)