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# Bono FAIL reaction
Reaction to the Official Glasto Facebook announcement. Comments thread still growing, but here's the pick of the first few. The internet's the best place to be when something like this happens.



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(unholysmoke, Tue 25 May 2010, 23:58, archived)
# Oh, thank you so much for posting this.
I mean that. Sincerely. From the bottom of my fucking heart.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:01, archived)
# How many hearts do you have?
Are you a Time Lady?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:15, archived)
# One.
It's blackened and withered.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:17, archived)
# Sounds like me in charge of a BBQ
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:19, archived)
# Has the twat died by anychance?
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:04, archived)
# I think he's ill.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:06, archived)
# Back problems I think
Somewhat shocked to learn today we spend 0.7% of our national GDP on foreign aid. Which is fucking insane

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:16, archived)
# Too much or too little?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:17, archived)
# It's a lot less than the scandinavian countries, I believe.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:18, archived)
# Yeah well they've got all the precious Scandina
so they should pay more.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:22, archived)
# Our national debt is close to a trillion
I am done with foreign humanitarian aid
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:29, archived)
# I think the amount we give India is roughly equal to their Space Research Organisation budget.
Still, spaceflight is fun, there are worse things for a government to spend money on.
Edit: maybe it's more like half their space budget. Can't find a more recent figure than 2008.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:20, archived)
# I don't think they really spend it on that.
I reckon they waste it on food.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:21, archived)
# ^Quite
It is bonkers; they are building an aircraft carrier when the UK has been questioning the budget of our replacement carriers, and we are a maritime nation; and simply pay for their's

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:33, archived)
# Maybe they'll lend us one if we have a crisis with a Falklands oil rig or something.
We are quite friendly with India. Maybe we can have a go on their rockets, too. *sips tea*
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:38, archived)
# According to the figures I can find, in 2007 we only gave 0.36%;
it's the UN target that's 0.7%. But then the EU as an entity in its own right also gives foreign aid, and we contribute to the EU, so it all goes a bit runny. Excuse me, I'm off to call sexface some names now.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:40, archived)
# Public finances are indeed runny
I don't think I've ever heard a more suitable adjective to describe taxation. The whole procedure is just so goddam runny from start to finish, and it probably smells of mushrooms.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:45, archived)
# It was quoted on Channel Four news dude
I noted this detail whilst waiting for my capitalist pizza to arrive
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:00, archived)
# Does it have a rich sauce?
(Alternate punchline : when it arrives, do you say to the deliveryperson "That's a bit rich, coming from you"?)
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:05, archived)
#
Comment hidden due to low rating. Show Comment
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:07, archived)
# Hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:16, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:17, archived)
# you bastard!!
You absolute bastard
(iamjthearmeroar, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:18, archived)
# this is setting off my ILOVEHORSES detector
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:22, archived)
# naw naw, man! it's on the level , square business
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:29, archived)
#
fuck it
i didn't check
/lurk
(harrythebastard i hate it here, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:48, archived)
# YOU
COMPLETE
BASTARD.
(I helped save b3ta! Laice , was Rogitating on, Wed 26 May 2010, 5:32, archived)
# So you're posting an unedited screenshot of a messageboard
on a messageboard?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:16, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:18, archived)
# So you're posting an unedited screenshot of a messageboard
on a messageboard, and it's a screenshot of the messageboard it's posted on, and it's under a post that says, "So you're posting an unedited screenshot of a messageboard on a messageboard?"
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:20, archived)
# AHHHHH PARADOX
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:23, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:28, archived)
# heh
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:29, archived)
# :)
Although, technically, a pair is a male and a female.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:33, archived)
# So you're saying ducks aren't allowed to be gay?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:43, archived)
# Oh, they're allowed.
They just might have trouble bookina a B&B run by fundamentalist Christians, that's all.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:50, archived)
# That's because they never pay their bill
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:53, archived)
# *groan*
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:08, archived)
# gah!
how many do there need to be before you can officially a call it a pile?
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:47, archived)
# 12.5
2 = Pair, 3 = three of a kind, 4-7 = a Visciousness of Ducks, 8-12 = a Streetgang of Ducks, More than 12 = Pile.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:52, archived)
# Technically?
I expect you have peer reviewed references to support that claim?
Last time I checked, a 'pair' was two of the same thing. So in fact two male ducks would be more a 'pair' than a heteroduckual couple!
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Wed 26 May 2010, 5:41, archived)
# Yes! No! Maybe!
Can you repeat the question?

(filename it, btw...)
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:25, archived)
# Oof
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:27, archived)
# Conversation at Bono's hospital bed.
Bono: God me back hurts
Bono's agent: Get some rest your eminence
Bono: Oi can't Oi'm restless, I need sumting to do but obviously it can't be too strenuous
Bono's agent: Er....
Bono: Grab me laptop, I'm just gonna check me Facebook
Bono's Agent: Er.... not a good idea your eminence
(I helped save b3ta! Hitler's Barber Soylent Green is high in saturated fat, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:18, archived)
# hahahaha
good job!

anything that has "Bono" and "cunt" in the same sentence gets my vote
(wallynothere rnot without protection, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:20, archived)
# *loses the will to live*
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:20, archived)
# ...and Tuesday continues...
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 26 May 2010, 4:01, archived)