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# You know you watch too much internet porn when...
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:01, archived)
# I've heard the phrase 'arse like a Japanese flag' but never thought I'd ever see it
also, there's no emoticon for what I'm feeling
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:03, archived)
# Have you heard the phrase "bumhole like a rusty sherriff's badge with one too many bullet dents in it" ?
Maybe that's how you're feeling.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:14, archived)
# have you heard the phrase "turgids to the point of explosion"?
i'm guessing that's closer to the mark
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:32, archived)
# I'm back now
It's been emotional
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:44, archived)
# i'm getting very drunk
and trying to watch raiders.
i don't really want to get drunk, but it may just keep me out of hospital
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:47, archived)
# How will getting drunk keep you out of hospital?
You'll be too rowdy to admit?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:50, archived)
# not quite
very very bad ibs, coupled with losing about 6ft of intestines, makes pooping difficult at times. my bog roll has been unmolested since sunday, but booze tends to loosen even the most grabby chutney-pipe. hopefully, a bottle of wine and a few senokot will do what stomach medicine has failed to do, thus negating the need for about 8 hours in casualty and a fuckoff big injection :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:55, archived)
# The reality is horrible,
but I love your way with words miss Smash! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:03, archived)
# ta:D
you get used to it after a while, but i do miss chicken and chips
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:05, archived)
# Medical interjection...
/start boring factoids:
Unlikely to be IBS; more likely to be adhesions causing partial obstruction secondary to the surgery. Since part of the roux-en-y involves moving a bit of the small bowel over the transverse colon, you can also get a sort of internal hernia that can cause similar symptoms.
I wouldn't recommend the booze as a solution unless you have a load of Lansoprazole or similar, but you do need to speak to your surgeon...

/end of boring factoids
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:30, archived)
# i had bad ibs before the surgery
and i had a massive hernia, which almost killed me last year. lansoprazole doesn't seen to help, but kolanticon gel is what i've been using for the last 4 years. it's been an absolute godsend.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:32, archived)
# tried movicol?
could also try going the other way and having a lot of fats eg butter laden on stuff to try and get a bit of steattorhea... stinks but might get things moving since you shouldn't absorb so much of it?
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:35, archived)
# movicol did nothing
fat just makes me sick. thanks to the bank holiday, i can't get my kolanticon till tomorrow :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:39, archived)
# :( back to the Bacardi then I suppose!
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:45, archived)
# i get pissed a lot quicker these days
finally, i'm a cheap date! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:50, archived)
# when exactly did you move to cellulite city?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:05, archived)
# Clearly, I've not watched enough of it.
Certainly safe for a day off work =)
(macroscian (1 like), Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:08, archived)
# I say
I obviously need to watch more I have not seen that one
(I helped save b3ta! The sherif of Mottingclam R.I.P Marco, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:11, archived)
# Phoar!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:18, archived)
# wipe the steam off those glasses immediately!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:28, archived)
#
gl
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:36, archived)
# :D
ooo, i have a date with dr. indiana jones and a very large bottle of wine.
g'night all!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:38, archived)
# Night night
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:48, archived)
# i seem to have changed my mind
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:56, archived)
# That's okay.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:02, archived)
# :D
there is booze and i can see the telly if i turn my head sideways. i'm going to have a hangover anyway, so i might as well add a stiff neck to the list
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:07, archived)
# Right ahead of you on the stiff neck bit
Also
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:11, archived)
# that baby looks fantastically evil
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:14, archived)
# I laughed out loud the first time I saw this
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:27, archived)
# i'm not surprised
he needs a monocle
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:30, archived)
# The next Gamesmaster
Quick! Get him atop an oil rig!
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:39, archived)
# hahaha!
i was just thinking how much like him he looks!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:42, archived)
# What I don't understand
is why the Republicans would even want to take control of House. Is it the characters, the plots, Hugh Laurie, what?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:03, archived)
# i have no idea
i'm guessing they're cunts
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 21:04, archived)
# pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 22:13, archived)
# erm NSFW?
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:19, archived)
# he only blinks ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:26, archived)
# ... you don't get excited over low-flying disco balls?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:32, archived)
# i do
but then, i'm very easily distracted by shiny things
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:34, archived)
# and balls
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:54, archived)
# yes
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:56, archived)
# coincidentally,
low-flying disco balls was my stage name.
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:39, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:57, archived)