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# I'm marketing a new energy drink....


Bear Semen, The Manliest Drink on Earth

It gives one the strength of 10 gorillas
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:43, archived)
# Hahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:43, archived)
# I think this is one of the best pieces of branding I have ever seen
www.google.co.uk/images?q=duracell+energy+drink
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:08, archived)
# the strength of 10 gorillas
and CHAINSAW HANDS! NNNGNNNNNNNNGG!
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:09, archived)
# And you would know.
I am calling Hamtoucher on this thread though, as it is essentially spam.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:10, archived)
# but it IS Bear Semen
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:12, archived)
# But is IS
spam.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:14, archived)
# yeah but
frog fucks granny.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:19, archived)
# as is an awful lot of stuff on here
this is funny and well done, where's the problem.
It's not a link to a Coca Cola campaign or "click this so I'm famous" thing
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:17, archived)
#
Can I bribe you not to with floods of Bear Semen?
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:22, archived)
# that's superb
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:14, archived)
# it's real too!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:23, archived)
#

(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:46, archived)
# You should call it redex, 'cos I can't see it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:47, archived)
# Here's an action shot...
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:48, archived)
# .. of another redex.
8(
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:49, archived)
# Ah, can see it, now.
In fact, I think it can probably be seen from the outer fringes of our galaxy.

EDIT: so this actually exists, and you're genuinely trying to sell it on b3ta?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:52, archived)
# bigger please
i can hardly see her.
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:50, archived)
#
Whoops, sorry, now reduced to less astronomical proportions for your viewing pleasure
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:53, archived)
# I can touch her!
edit:...awww!... :(
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:51, archived)
# I'll take two...
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:55, archived)
# Does the can of drink come free with them?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 15:58, archived)
# does she come free with the bear jizz?
(I helped save b3ta! @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:01, archived)
# hahahaha, you've actually got it made?! fantastic
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:04, archived)
# slurp
mind if i pop this here

30 seconds full (850w), 30 seconds wait, 15 seconds full. perfect.
balls, put first pic twice.
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:02, archived)
# 1 cup...
(I helped save b3ta! @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:04, archived)
# How to make a polished turd?
...Haaa haaa haaa!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:08, archived)
# Not in the microwave!!
Why bother with the clingfilm??
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:14, archived)
# potwashing not required
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:17, archived)
# Hahahaa
OK I'll give you that one.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:20, archived)
# and it's easy to lift out and flip onto a magenta plastic plate*.
*magenta plastic plate is an optional extra.
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:24, archived)
# balls
Feel free to plop your balls anywhere you feel they are warranted. Also, I'm going to try this...
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:23, archived)
# its full of yum.
also, did you design the logo? And does it taste like monster or relentless?
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:33, archived)
#
My mate Jameson did the logo and his mate Pete did the drawing. Here is Jameson's Flickr and Pete's Flickr

And it tastes a bit like a certain crimson cow themed drink. But wings are for fairies, Bear Semen gives you the Strengh of 10 Gorillas.
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:49, archived)
# but my gorillas go up to eleven
;)
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:57, archived)
# one one?
one one?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 17:05, archived)
#
Many people do in fact report gaining the strength of 11 gorillas, but it's not official company policy to make that claim.
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 19:01, archived)
# Is that my drink?
I am Manley.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:06, archived)
# He'll gladly sell you a crate of the stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:08, archived)
# Is it real then?
Well, it's good enough to share, but belongs on /links really.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:09, archived)
# It seems to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:12, archived)
# Hmm,
that is a bit spammy then, 7 years or no.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:14, archived)
# I'm with you - fucker's spamming us.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:16, archived)
# Apparently didn't do the logo or the picture ...
so debatable whether 'own work'.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 17:07, archived)
# It would appear that giving your product a comedy name allows you to advertise it on b3ta for free.
And I still can't see the original image, so have no idea what the logo looks like.
Is it any good? Can we forgive his evil spamming ways?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 17:24, archived)
# I don't know, I'm confused
Nothing said to me "BUY THIS OR YOUR KNOB WILL FALL OFF" but now upon further inspection I think if I don't buy some now my knob will fall off.
HAYLP!
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 17:30, archived)
# The link takes you to the "buy my stuff" page.
Which, to me, is no different from the people who occasionally offer /board great deals on Adidas trainers, and provide us with exactly the same kind of link.
Nike take note: change your name to "Grizzly Piss" and all is forgiven..
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 17:41, archived)
# "I'm marketing a new energy drink"
was the title to the post, so top marks for honesty. Didn't say it was his.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 18:00, archived)
# So my point remains - you can spam b3ta if the item you're selling has a funny name and a half-decent logo.
EDIT: pub!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 18:13, archived)
# I could remove the link
Would that be better? I just thought that it might make some people here as happy as it makes me :p
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 18:52, archived)
# How about you buy an ad in next week's newsletter?
Or, at the very least, buy an icon for your account?
Seems like a fair trade.

We clearly love the idea of your product, (and I must admit to being tempted with the power of 10 gorillas, myself), but if you're gonna give us the hard sell, at least make it known that you both respect and appreciate b3ta for allowing you to do so.
Oui?
Non?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 21:03, archived)
# Funny you should say that...
Studies have shown that spontaneousness penile detachment events are much more common in people who DON'T buy and consume Bear Semen
(almost_ is pumped full of Bear Semen, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 18:55, archived)
# Not like he's trying to sell it to us though is it?
& it's still a picture
:)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 16:22, archived)
# WOW
This is exactly how the world should work. Always a bit confusing. Yet serious.

(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 17:21, archived)