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# Aherm...
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 12:32, archived)
# *hangs up*
:D
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 12:46, archived)
# I only ever get the calls that start with "If you could change only one door or window in your home..." or "Hello, I am from Microsoft, and there is a problem with your Windows computer or laptop..."
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 12:46, archived)
# I'm lucky enough to have never had one of those wretched calls
Does it seriously ask you to prioritise one door or window? I can't honestly say I have a 'least favourite' in my place...
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:26, archived)
# But the question made you think of a possible answer, even though it's random bollocks you'd never have wittingly asked yourself.
And if you're still on the phone when you figure that out, you've probably already told them.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 15:01, archived)
# I don't get calls anymore... TPS ftw!
Now I'm just plauged by texts.

"Text STOP to 87765 to stop messages."
You mean I have to pay for the priviledge of not getting your shitty spam texts?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:38, archived)
# i just forward them, with the number
to 7726.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:40, archived)
# ooooh
what witchcraft is this?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:06, archived)
# the best kind of witch craft.
www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/consumertips/9208456/Martin-Lewis-how-to-stop-spam-texts.html

apart from the stuff where you have to sacrifice children and small animals.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:35, archived)
# Exceelent
thanks
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:54, archived)
# What if it's your network operator sending you constant adverts for shit you don't want?
And they falsify the sender as a generic network name?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:49, archived)
# I get the Microsoft ones occasionally
Ask them what IP address they're seeing the problem on, mine always answer 127.0.0.1, ha ha.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:42, archived)
# I usually let them ramble on for a bit, laugh, then hang up.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 15:08, archived)
# I always say
The only way they know I had a computer and it had a problem was if they had hacked into it, and therefore I am contacting the police.
It achieves little, but it gives me some pleasure when they immediately hang up.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:31, archived)
# I tend to ask them if their software is really that sensitive
They say yes. I say that's amazing because my laptop is running OSX and my desktop is running Fedora and both are behind firewalls. They pause for a second and then hang up.

In a similar way my dad's started stringing them along for a while sounding all worried and then eventually when they say "Click on the start menu" says "I can't find a start menu, there's a thing here". "Yes, sir?" "It says 'Puppy Linux', is that right?"
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:39, archived)
# I get these at work all the time.
So I just hand them over to my clients. They seem to enjoy them.

Did I mention that I work as a carer for people with intellectual disabilities? :)

The bastards never ring back. The guys so look forward to chatting to them.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 4:57, archived)
# Would
even if her body DOES end at the sternum
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 12:49, archived)
# She's the Borg Queen's sister.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:23, archived)
#
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 12:50, archived)
# Hahaha
She floats MY boat ifyouknowwhatImean
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:23, archived)
# I wanted to do "Life Of Pee"
but there is no way that's going to turn out safe for work.
[Edit: WARNING: PEE-DRINKING!]
blog.totallyannette.com/2009/05/15/piss-plays-a-big-role-in-my-life/
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:31, archived)
# you may wish to inform people that they should open that in an incognito window
if they wish to see someone drinking piss that is.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:39, archived)
# Yes. Incognito window, that.
Because [no sarcasm] "no way that's going to turn out safe for work" and "piss-plays-a-big-role-in-my-life/" were, in retrospect, not as clear as WARNING: PEE-DRINKING! Fair enough.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:51, archived)
# Oh wait. There's this.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 13:46, archived)
# Kitty clearly does not like the smell.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:20, archived)
# Pisslake!
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:42, archived)
# hehehe
I feel this could run and run

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:01, archived)
# Hahahahahahah
Hai Joe! :D
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:08, archived)
# hey Ninj!
how goes things with you?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:19, archived)
# Ok ta matey. You?
A very Merry Christmas to you and Mrs Scaramanga :D
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:29, archived)
# cheers fella, and to you
quite excited about doing my first family crimbo, but dreading all the prep I've gotta sort out before Friday afternoon when the throng start arriving
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:31, archived)
# You'll be the perfect host mate...
...a wee tot of Port before you start will 'ease' the stress! :)
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:37, archived)
# Ha-ha!
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 14:42, archived)