I claimed I had a mental disorderto explain me missing near half a year's worth of certain lessons at school
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randomisgood,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 13:32,
archived)
my mum used to write notes for mesaying i couldnt do PE, due to medical issues
in reality, she told me PE was a "waste of fucking time", and that i should concentrate on better things, which i did....
girls trampolining - double lesson, 9:30, wednesday morning...
(in reality, she told me PE was a "waste of fucking time", and that i should concentrate on better things, which i did....
girls trampolining - double lesson, 9:30, wednesday morning...
lo, the OTHER greebo warrior,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 13:38,
archived)
Girls TrampoliningAlways my fave subject... as a spectator of course.
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Wed 26 Nov 2003, 16:25,
archived)
I used that one at college......to explain my contant swearing whilst on work experience. I never actually said "Tourette's", but I'm sure they just assumed.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 13:45,
archived)
i jokingly told one of the guys in the office down the corridorthat i had a rare form of tourette's that cause me to swear uncontrollably when angered and/or annoyed.
i said it in a very joking way, and he chuckled afterwards. the next day, he turned up with loads of leaflets about my 'condition' and offered to help me get some medical assistance to 'cure my ailment'
(i said it in a very joking way, and he chuckled afterwards. the next day, he turned up with loads of leaflets about my 'condition' and offered to help me get some medical assistance to 'cure my ailment'
lo, the OTHER greebo warrior,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 13:48,
archived)
did a runner from..........a garage in Southampton after filling my petrol tanks. this was during the summer of 95 at a small independent garage. I was a student down there and was fucking skint.
It kind of became a habit to drive over to this garage(which had no cameras), park at the pump which was furthest from the shop, casually fill up and casually drive out. But on this one occasion, with only a few quid in my pocket and when i had almost filled my tanks, I notice the man look in my direction. I stared back and continued to fill up. Once i had filled up, i jumped in my car and drove out as quick as possible trying to keep my car parralel to the attendant for as long as possible, so he would be unable to read the reg. I then drove to bournemouth and took acid on bournemouth beach.
two days later police turn up at my house, asking why i had done a runner from the garage-watermelon! they told me that i must go to Bitterne police station on saturday to explain myself.
Now here is where the lies start! Once at the police station i was interviewed, with everything recorded to tape-which is still at my mums. I then proceeded to tell them that "yes, I had indeed been to that garage on that night, but i certainly had not filled my petrol tanks, let alone commit robbery, i had only stopped to get a drink. i told them I had got into an argument with the attendant about the price of a can of coke. where i was ashamed to admit to the copper that i had got rather upset with his rudeness, called him a packie and told him to go watermelon himself. With the Police being a little racist at times, i thought this could get there sympathy. It certainly did, but not to the extent of them dropping the charges.
I was then summoned to go to Southampton Magistrates court in the autumn, where i was defended by a man who through some stroke of luck was a distant relative. He did not believe my story though. I went to the prelimanry hearing and pleaded not guilty. A week before the case proper my mother(who now knew)found a credit card statement with two payments at the same garage(not the one i robbed) on the day in question for petrol. She excitedly called me and said she had filled my petrol tank on that day. she obviously hadn't, but had done the weekend before and i guess the garage hadn't put the payment through until the week after. this evidence was presented to my lawyer and subsequently to the police and prosecution, whereby all charges were dropped! the garage paid my court costs and lose of income from a market research company i worked for at the time! Fucking result! I did not feel any guilt and still do not. i even went back to the garage to gloat, they barred me for life!
Oh and before the p'c' brigade get all in a fluff, i am most definately not a racist, my girlfriend of the time was bengali and she encouraged my line of defence.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 14:29,
archived)
It kind of became a habit to drive over to this garage(which had no cameras), park at the pump which was furthest from the shop, casually fill up and casually drive out. But on this one occasion, with only a few quid in my pocket and when i had almost filled my tanks, I notice the man look in my direction. I stared back and continued to fill up. Once i had filled up, i jumped in my car and drove out as quick as possible trying to keep my car parralel to the attendant for as long as possible, so he would be unable to read the reg. I then drove to bournemouth and took acid on bournemouth beach.
two days later police turn up at my house, asking why i had done a runner from the garage-watermelon! they told me that i must go to Bitterne police station on saturday to explain myself.
Now here is where the lies start! Once at the police station i was interviewed, with everything recorded to tape-which is still at my mums. I then proceeded to tell them that "yes, I had indeed been to that garage on that night, but i certainly had not filled my petrol tanks, let alone commit robbery, i had only stopped to get a drink. i told them I had got into an argument with the attendant about the price of a can of coke. where i was ashamed to admit to the copper that i had got rather upset with his rudeness, called him a packie and told him to go watermelon himself. With the Police being a little racist at times, i thought this could get there sympathy. It certainly did, but not to the extent of them dropping the charges.
I was then summoned to go to Southampton Magistrates court in the autumn, where i was defended by a man who through some stroke of luck was a distant relative. He did not believe my story though. I went to the prelimanry hearing and pleaded not guilty. A week before the case proper my mother(who now knew)found a credit card statement with two payments at the same garage(not the one i robbed) on the day in question for petrol. She excitedly called me and said she had filled my petrol tank on that day. she obviously hadn't, but had done the weekend before and i guess the garage hadn't put the payment through until the week after. this evidence was presented to my lawyer and subsequently to the police and prosecution, whereby all charges were dropped! the garage paid my court costs and lose of income from a market research company i worked for at the time! Fucking result! I did not feel any guilt and still do not. i even went back to the garage to gloat, they barred me for life!
Oh and before the p'c' brigade get all in a fluff, i am most definately not a racist, my girlfriend of the time was bengali and she encouraged my line of defence.
that is appallingyou don't feel any guilt? you're a fucking idiot.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 15:40,
archived)
Guiltwheres the guilt? Should I be sorry for stealing £20 worth of petrol when i was 20? I feel guilt for lieing to my mother, but Fuk the garage-like i was gonna get a crim record for that. couldn't do it now though. no ones perfect pal and besides I thought this was a confession of our worst lies? no one hurt except a garage's finances-about 600 quid.
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Tue 25 Nov 2003, 16:32,
archived)
not only did you rip off someonewho will end up covering the cost, you've lied in court - other people end up paying for shit like this! if you couldn't afford petrol, why did you have a car when you were a student?
sorry if this is harsh, but I'm disgusted. I've told some lies but nothing like this.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 16:50,
archived)
sorry if this is harsh, but I'm disgusted. I've told some lies but nothing like this.
Yeah, this isn't a story about lyingIt's a story about being a fúcking tea-leaf.
*golf clap*
(*golf clap*
Not Pineapple anymore,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 12:12,
archived)
A little bitof guilt would be more endearing.
I'd be more sympathetic and amused if it was some big global you'd ripped off, but not some independent trader who you not only stole from, but then perverted the course of justice to rip off further.
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Tue 25 Nov 2003, 16:44,
archived)
I'd be more sympathetic and amused if it was some big global you'd ripped off, but not some independent trader who you not only stole from, but then perverted the course of justice to rip off further.
I'm not the biggest fan of petrol stationsbut what a nasty, graceless little beast you are.
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Dr Phil Kitten,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 20:31,
archived)
lamagicI'm on your side, maybe it's because I'm a wee bit selfish, but I agree with you, no guilt. Yeah, I would tell you you shouldn't have done it, but you did and got away with it. GO YOU
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Tue 25 Nov 2003, 20:58,
archived)
you utter, utter bastardI have nothing but contempt for you.
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Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 15:06,
archived)
What a small world ...... my third biggest lie was telling your mother that she was better in bed than your little sister. You thieving little pleb. Student of what? Thick-fuckology?
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 17:02,
archived)
Superior ranting there...Much impressed ;)
They should have a thread on "Give me the funniest line of abuse you can"
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 8:49,
archived)
They should have a thread on "Give me the funniest line of abuse you can"
I don't oftencome out to play, but I have to mention that you are a complete twunt.
(,
Thu 27 Nov 2003, 10:22,
archived)
I think......that rocks. How can people be *that* pissed about something he did when he was younger? Did it affect any of you in any way? Were any of you said gas station owner? No? Surprise. When I was 14 I stole a girls shoe and wouldn't give it back until she snogged me. Nowadays I think that's called rape. Possibly. Should I be chastised for it? Probably. I'll shut up now.
(,
Fri 28 Nov 2003, 13:53,
archived)
I did that too.Was doing a VERY boring Business and Finance BTEC 'bout 10 years ago. Couldn't really be arsed to do the second year, so basically bunked about 1/3 of the year. Never thought they'd phone to find out where the watermelon I was outside of college hours, and me mam didn't come home from work until 7'ish, so figured I was safe.
Wrong! They phoned her one night, and subsequently got a call whilst at me mates house, fom a rather irate mum. Felt guilty as I had been lying to her for 6 months saying I'd been going to college. She phoned my Dad, who had to come to the college with me to explain why I had not been there. So I lied through my teeth and said I'd had a really bad anxiety thing. Someone had had this when I was at school, and was off for ages. I went to my doctor, who wasn't falling for my shit, and got a letter saying I'd had 3 days off college.
I took the letter "doctored" it so it said 31 days. The college fell for it hook, line and sinker. Fucking idiots. It was SOOOO obvious. Still, the best blag was that a mate in my class gave me all his work to copy, so I could catch up, and they didn't notice that either. Fools. I passed the course too. Ha
That'll learn 'em!
(Wrong! They phoned her one night, and subsequently got a call whilst at me mates house, fom a rather irate mum. Felt guilty as I had been lying to her for 6 months saying I'd been going to college. She phoned my Dad, who had to come to the college with me to explain why I had not been there. So I lied through my teeth and said I'd had a really bad anxiety thing. Someone had had this when I was at school, and was off for ages. I went to my doctor, who wasn't falling for my shit, and got a letter saying I'd had 3 days off college.
I took the letter "doctored" it so it said 31 days. The college fell for it hook, line and sinker. Fucking idiots. It was SOOOO obvious. Still, the best blag was that a mate in my class gave me all his work to copy, so I could catch up, and they didn't notice that either. Fools. I passed the course too. Ha
That'll learn 'em!
D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine....,
Thu 27 Nov 2003, 15:41,
archived)