b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Daily Mail World » Message 2714764 (Thread)

[challenge entry]


From the Daily Mail World challenge. See all 212 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:35, archived)
# The Bible of Middle England.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:37, archived)
# slightly more believable than the bible
/controversial
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:39, archived)
# At least the bible
is *intended* to be fiction.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:40, archived)
# ooooOOOOOooooOOoOO,
I set a christian Jihad on you, sonny.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:42, archived)
# kind of like all these horny girls you read about in jazz mags
they say that they all want taking from behind and fisting
but they fucking won't have any of it if you meet them in the street.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:43, archived)
# i tried to read the bible once.
utter shite.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:41, archived)
# it's funny how it's so different from
what they taught in R.E lessons.
i read this bit about how they sodomised babies then cracked their heads open on rocks.
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:43, archived)
# how else are you supposed to get to the tender bits
so you can make a nice stir fry?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:44, archived)
# If you read it like a novel
it's the best book ever.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:44, archived)
# apart from the
'i'm brian blessed' bit by some bit-part actor called God
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:45, archived)
# naaah
the writing's piss poor, there are holes in the plot the size of the grand canyon, and the ending.....
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:46, archived)
# 2000 years later
and we're still waiting for the sequel
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:47, archived)
# and the editted version
they missed out Rufus the 13th apostle
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:48, archived)
# that's only in dogma
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:50, archived)
# are you sure?
bollocks, there i was getting fact and fiction mixed up again
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:54, archived)
# but at least they don't
winge about not getting royalties every time some one uses a line from it in another work - unlike the rolling stones.
(gamera, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:59, archived)
# Interesting prose fact:
The reason the bible repeats itself so much is that hardly anyone could read during it's ascendancy. Therefore it had to be repetetive when it was read out in public, so it would stick in peoples minds.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:48, archived)
# not so good if you're looking for some kind
of guidance/elightenment/anything to cheer you up,
and you come across things like "man shall not stick cock up another man"
or "a woman is a man's best friend".
or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:47, archived)
# Depends what version you read.
Your mistake there though is looking for guidance in it. I'd no more look for guidance there then I would in Harry Potter. It's only a book, it's you who makes your life what it is.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:49, archived)
# the basic principles
are a good guide for life
shame the establishment are such cocks
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:52, archived)
# Which basic principals?
The destruction of Soddom and Gammorah?
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:54, archived)
# no the 'love thy neighbour' stuff
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:55, archived)
# i tried to
but she slapped me
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:56, archived)
# me too
:(
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:56, archived)
# i'd like to love my neighbour...
she's hot, i went to school with her...
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:58, archived)
# it's hard to agree with the bit
about coveting your neighbour's ox though.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:57, archived)
# do you reckon 'pop idol'
counts as 'worshipping false idols'?
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:59, archived)
# most definitely
especially the 'being' that won
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:01, archived)
# for nowadays substitute ox for car
you may want one but you go and get your own unless you are from pikeyville in which case you twock it
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:00, archived)
# no no no
'though shalt not steal'
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:00, archived)
# you could
just borrow it for an extended period of time
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:01, archived)
# ah SSG got me confused
with him being welsh I expected 'covets thy neighbours sheep'
/ducks
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:03, archived)
# except, of course,
that i'm not welsh...
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:07, archived)
# my mistake
:)
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:09, archived)
# i don't want a car.
it would be no use to me, i can't drive.
i do want an ox though.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:02, archived)
# i know an ox would be useful
but i was using a car as a modern equivelant
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:05, archived)
# this is scaring me now
i sound like a raving religious nut
which i am not,i've only been in a church about 10 times in my life
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:08, archived)
# 10 times?
you fuckin religious nut!
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:09, archived)
# never by choice
the last time was 14 years ago for my sisters wedding
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:13, archived)
# i know that now, don't i.
the version, by the way, was New International.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:53, archived)
# Try King James.
Better prose.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:54, archived)
# i can't believe you're
discussing which version of the bible is better.
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:56, archived)
# I love King James,
best of all the Bible versions.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:58, archived)
# Then you're in the wrong place;)
*hug*
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:00, archived)
# you need
this one
(KnitWit, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:58, archived)
# for the lazy man
lazy bible
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:00, archived)
# i'm not a retard you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:01, archived)
# nor are you a teenage girl (to the best of my knowledge)
I just find the existence of that thing incredibly funny
edit: also the third review from the bottom
(KnitWit, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:02, archived)
# i don't think it would really appeal to teenage girls.
and i should know, i've come across quite a few in my time.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:05, archived)
# overshooting the target?
you gotta aim lower then
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:09, archived)
# well,
now that you mention it...
(I helped save b3ta! meak is going to inherit the earth, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 2:02, archived)
# if you read it from a mythological standpoint
it's fascinating.
really.
(KnitWit, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:45, archived)
# sadly, at the time,
i was in quite a bad state of depression.
all I learned form the bible was that it makes depression worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:49, archived)
# i find it works wonders
for insomniacs... just read Exodus and you'll be asleep in a couple pages
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:52, archived)
# it can do that
but read some of the Mesopotamian creation myths -- about Tamat and creation from water/darkness
also the whole of Cain's crime and exile is taken from fertility rituals and treatment of criminals
/podium
(KnitWit, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:53, archived)
# i love the Daily Mail.
I FUCKING LOVE IT.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:39, archived)
# Any problems with paper cuts?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:40, archived)
# not really problems.
they improve things, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 1:51, archived)