i went through the whole carpe dium thing
asking her out and saying how much i loved her, it brought her to tears saying that she didn't want to lose another best friend to the same reason as the last three. It's something we don't talk about now because she ends up in tears afterwards because she knows how much she's hurting me.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 1:47,
archived)
Yes
But you cant keep torturing yourself just so she can have a nice time and run away from her problems all the time.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 1:48,
archived)
i know she fancies plenty of other people
including my oldest and possibly best friend. I always fel that her happiness is more important than my jealousy. I'm a nice person who puts others before myself ALL THE BLOODY TIME and of course i'm at a disadvantage over it. Don't say that i shouldn't, because thats just how i feel, if i let my jealousy get the better of me i'd feel beyond awful.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 1:53,
archived)
Look dude
Seriously now, dont slag me off about this, im not asking you to do anything, hell i know what its like to put others before yourself but why the hell should you not be aloud to express your emotions to?
Exactly no reason. So anyway im not 'trying' to help you or anything like that, i was just helping you vent some angst, because so very few people let you do that without becoming really pissed off.
So give me a break yeah, and while your at it, give urself a break from this whole *i dont need to have feelings as long as others have em for me* act. Its old and you need to revolutionise or torture yourself till u give in.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 1:57,
archived)
Exactly no reason. So anyway im not 'trying' to help you or anything like that, i was just helping you vent some angst, because so very few people let you do that without becoming really pissed off.
So give me a break yeah, and while your at it, give urself a break from this whole *i dont need to have feelings as long as others have em for me* act. Its old and you need to revolutionise or torture yourself till u give in.
i dont feel that way at all
everyone knows how i feel, i'm very open about my feelings, but they know that i believe that i believe thier happiness is more important than mine (or to be more preicse, i will feel horribly guilty if i put myself before my friends and feel worse for it) and everyone who really cares about me does thier best to encourage me to not be so considerate to them from time to time, and in half a vicious cirlce, i know that my doing this will make them happiest. Simply put, i'm a nice person, but because i'm so nice people often don't let me be.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 2:02,
archived)
Ok fine /Rum
You know your right. Thats good enough for you, but ima off to bed now, goodnight and goodluck.
/beaten down
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 2:04,
archived)
/beaten down
is it me being insecure
if i think that if i can;t have the best girl i know, my best mate should have her instead? I think the world of both of them, surely if i can't have that sort of happiness, i wouldn't deny the ones i care about the chance to have it.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 2:11,
archived)
being overly nice the way you describe
is to your own detriment. you yourself have said your friends stop you stepping back for them, they recognise that they don't need you to help them, and hell, they probably don't want you to either. But despite all this, you say you still put other people first even when it really hurts because they're "more important".
That my friend, is insecurity. work on it.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 2:16,
archived)
That my friend, is insecurity. work on it.
sounds like she's a rather pretty girl
and is having a difficult time coming to terms with her own sexuality, and all that goes with it. I realise how patronising that sounds, but you don't magically become fully sexually aware at 20 or anything. Perhaps you could try being sensitive to that and being supportive rather than feeling sorry for yourself. I mean I'm sure it hurts, I don't doubt it, but if you really love her that much think of her, and that doesn't mean letting her go out with your best mate so you can subconciously break free of her spell by hurting yourself. Doesn't work like that.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 1:58,
archived)
bleugh
i dont know how much i'm repeating ymself here, but here goes.
She's been very bisexual since 14, i know her feelings inside out from what she's told me and my general empathy and intuition (which everyone tells me is an amazing talent of mine, but i'm a pessimist so i refuse to believe them) and i know for a fact that she definately isn't just straight or gay and confused.
I just feel that her happiness is so important to me, on top of my best mate's happiness, that it;s more important than my jealosy. If i can't have her, of in my eyes she is perfect, (i know her flaws extensively, i just don't see them making her any less amazing) who better to have her than someone i really like? Surely i should wish my best friend to have the best girl around if i can't have her.
( ,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 2:07,
archived)
She's been very bisexual since 14, i know her feelings inside out from what she's told me and my general empathy and intuition (which everyone tells me is an amazing talent of mine, but i'm a pessimist so i refuse to believe them) and i know for a fact that she definately isn't just straight or gay and confused.
I just feel that her happiness is so important to me, on top of my best mate's happiness, that it;s more important than my jealosy. If i can't have her, of in my eyes she is perfect, (i know her flaws extensively, i just don't see them making her any less amazing) who better to have her than someone i really like? Surely i should wish my best friend to have the best girl around if i can't have her.