From the Illustrated Spam challenge. See all 430 entries (closed)
( , Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:14, archived)
aarrf
Go and have your bath, Mykeyboy. You're gonna be late for work..
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:21,
archived)
you're welcome, now have a random KFC fact:
my friend Taylor who lives in Florida told me that down south there, the Colonel's skin keeps getting progressively darker in adverts to adapt to the audience that KFC serves most frequently. I thought that was funny, since he's an old white guy.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:36,
archived)
Surely he should just get deader and deader
in subsequent advertising campaigns ?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:41,
archived)
nope, just blacker and blacker
or so I hear
and he's a cartoon now, of course
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:42,
archived)
and he's a cartoon now, of course
er...nooo
in all the ads he's a cartoon.
It's hard to film someone as alive and black when they are dead and white.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:51,
archived)
It's hard to film someone as alive and black when they are dead and white.
Sorry not properly awake yet
thought you were referring to a KFC cartoon in the way that Mcdonalds did a kids cartoon about ten years ago
/feels old
/hangs head
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:58,
archived)
/feels old
/hangs head
aww
you're not old!
*pats back*
*steals cane and runs away whilst you hobble along behind me and trip and break your hip*
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:01,
archived)
*pats back*
*steals cane and runs away whilst you hobble along behind me and trip and break your hip*
Nah!
There's no conspiracy, he's just naturally aging like David Dickinson.*
*This will probably not be understood outside the UK - I bloody hope we're not exporting him!
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:39,
archived)
*This will probably not be understood outside the UK - I bloody hope we're not exporting him!
But then the whole world will hate us
just like America . . .
*Shut's up so he doesn't offend FPM.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:44,
archived)
*Shut's up so he doesn't offend FPM.
nah, it's ok
I'm not offended. Most of America sucks.
though the food is astronomically better
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:46,
archived)
though the food is astronomically better
That's rich coming from Tofu boy!
'ning
What're you doing here, other place borked?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:53,
archived)
What're you doing here, other place borked?
just passing through
out of interest.
and 'ning, hope you are well(ish)
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:12,
archived)
and 'ning, hope you are well(ish)
hmmmmmmm....
nearly went for the acoustic bass but the 12-string semi-acoustic won in the end.
banjo next time (well, next life)
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:21,
archived)
banjo next time (well, next life)
c'mon!
Reeses, Butterfinger, Marie Calendar's Chicken Pot Pie, Oreos, Chocolate chip cookies, cookies n' cream ice cream, far larger variety of ice cream, altoids sour apple candies, skittles with GRAPE instead of fucking blackcurrant, ranch salad dressing, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:54,
archived)
they are
I had some American sweets sent to me for my birthday and Lemony ended up eating all of my sour apple altoids :(
so when I went back I got him a bunch of them
/teh best girlifriend ever
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:04,
archived)
so when I went back I got him a bunch of them
/teh best girlifriend ever
Funny
'cos I know someone called 'appley' who prefers the sour lemon altoids . . .
*dies of shame
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:05,
archived)
*dies of shame
pffft
he hasn't tried the lemon ones yet, but I got some of those for him too.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:06,
archived)
sugar
sugar
sugar
sugar
sugar
sugar
that's all teh americanish foodz
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 9:13,
archived)
sugar
sugar
sugar
sugar
that's all teh americanish foodz
A guy at work
has an American wife & he keeps bringing in typical US "food". No matter what it is, the ingredient list always says:
Sugar
Glucose syrup
Refined bleached white flour
Hydrogenated vegetable oil
Artificial flavouring of whatever the real food it's imitating.
Loads of other shit.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 10:12,
archived)
Sugar
Glucose syrup
Refined bleached white flour
Hydrogenated vegetable oil
Artificial flavouring of whatever the real food it's imitating.
Loads of other shit.
i am glistening with bathwater
and smelling like some sort of manly flower as we speak:)
*flicks towel*
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:24,
archived)
*flicks towel*
I think he meant
'I smell of mainly flowers'; maybe there was a mystery ingredient to his ungulent?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:28,
archived)
Oh yes
a few of them were reassigned recently...were you not at the meeting?did you not get the memo?
/i'll get my people to call your people....
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:28,
archived)
/i'll get my people to call your people....
I salute you sir
for being the quickest and most efficient bather of all time!
/hands over award
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:31,
archived)
/hands over award
*steals award out of Mykeyboy's still wet hands
Yoink!
*runs away
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:37,
archived)
Yoink!
*runs away
yeah, um, you're gonna have to put coversheets on all the tps reports from now on
did you...uh...get that memo?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:32,
archived)
Arf!
'ning
The bloke on the left looks really confused. Maybe you posted this too early for him?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:22,
archived)
The bloke on the left looks really confused. Maybe you posted this too early for him?
im clean pig!
you've got nothing on me, i wasnt even there that night!....erm....nothing...
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:27,
archived)
I dare not look at his
although I did just look at yours (something to do with a conversation about orgasms from down there)
I'm gonna grind you into a spicy powder . . .
pfffft!
EDIT: It was the bit about Brian Blessed that you really liked, wasn't it?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:30,
archived)
I'm gonna grind you into a spicy powder . . .
pfffft!
EDIT: It was the bit about Brian Blessed that you really liked, wasn't it?
well, yes, partly that
but mostly the romanticalistic stuff, cause I'm just all girly and on my own little cloud at the moment :)
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:33,
archived)
*checks own profile
Hey! My bloody wife's been hacking again!*
*not really; DTH is teh mushiest.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:36,
archived)
*not really; DTH is teh mushiest.
hehe yaaaay!
me too. especially today since I'm gonna see my boy for the first time in a month! woo hoo!!!
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:38,
archived)
oh, god...that was horrible.
that's like something my dad would say.
but just to make you feel better, I like my dad a lot.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:43,
archived)
but just to make you feel better, I like my dad a lot.
*doesn't feel better
*feels old
*feels like having a really bad dance at someone's wedding
Anyone getting married? I have my suit all ready.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:45,
archived)
*feels old
*feels like having a really bad dance at someone's wedding
Anyone getting married? I have my suit all ready.
I might in like 10 years
but first I have to grow up and find someone and stuff
wanna hear a really bad dad joke that I didn't get to enter in the question of the week a while back?
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:46,
archived)
wanna hear a really bad dad joke that I didn't get to enter in the question of the week a while back?
maybe
What do you get when Batman and Robin fall under a steam roller?
Flatman and Ribbon!
after he told this joke, my dad proceeded to crack up for about five minutes.
OMGLOLROFL.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:53,
archived)
Flatman and Ribbon!
after he told this joke, my dad proceeded to crack up for about five minutes.
OMGLOLROFL.
not to my knowledge
unless my mom had a kid when she was 12...
the slut.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:57,
archived)
the slut.
Yay to
33 year old Midlanders on b3ta called Dave! (that makes two of us)
The suit in your profile is ultra-cool. Looks like Spiderman.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:33,
archived)
The suit in your profile is ultra-cool. Looks like Spiderman.
Yes
not only does it look like spiderman, it empowers me with spider-like powers*
*i.e. makes women scream and run away. That is all.
( ,
Mon 23 Aug 2004, 8:37,
archived)
*i.e. makes women scream and run away. That is all.