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[challenge entry] Topical In 1984

From the New Toys in Breakfast Cereals challenge. See all 484 entries (closed)

(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:13, archived)
# Is nobody doing a compo graph any more?
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:16, archived)
#
i think Sid is keeping the Doc busy
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:22, archived)
# Doc G used to
but then he got sick of the rock n roll lifestyle of the compo statistician... he woke up one afternoon with his beard white from the mountain of cocaine he'd fallen asleep in and Bolton's premier cheerleading team in various stages of undress around his hotel room. That was the point he had his epiphany and realised that he had to get out or the lifestyle would kill him...
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:25, archived)
# There was a point at the height of his debauchery when
Keith Richards was refusing to return Teh Doc's phone calls because he couldn't keep up. When Doc G stopped partying the price of cocaine fell dramatically because of the huge surplus in supply... 3 types of mild, which had been experiencing an unexpected upturn in popularity, had to be withdraw from the pubs, many of the catholic convents around the country capitalised on the thousands of women who turned to them distraught at the news, leading to the biggest increase in the number of Nuns since the introduction of the sexy Nun reforms in 1672.
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:38, archived)
# I remember at one party he had, he drove his brand new Morris Minor 1000
into a his pond... the ducks were not happy.
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:41, archived)
# That was new years eve in 1974
I remember at that party Teh Doc wouldn't allow anyone to wear a watch or bring a clock into the grounds of his mansion... he claimed that he was so atuned to the vibrations of the Universe that he KNEW exactly when it was midnight and he would let us all know... and boy did he let us know. The centre piece of the party was a studded giraffe which he had had fitted with an indistrial strength whipped cream dispencer. He had the cream laced with opium and didn't tell anyone. Sometime late into the night he filled three hedgehogs with vodka and absinth. Many years later, while reliving the old days with me, I asked if he regretted anything. 'The irony is,' Teh doc told me sometime later 'I probably got more than I remember, because I was having so many blackouts...'
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 15:18, archived)
# Arf!
I wondered why my ears were burning...
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 15:21, archived)
# and I set fire to your ears
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 15:25, archived)
# I don't know...
...ask a stupid question, get a serious in-depth answer....
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:41, archived)
# That reminds me very much of the time I was touring with Teh Doc
I was only a session pencil sharpener at the time, but he took me on to work the compas on stage - we had a lot of pie charts in the show at the time so it was a very big job for someone so young and at the start of their career, a really big opportunity which he reminds me of almost everytime we meet. Anyway, this one night he refused to go on stage without a bowl full of pork pies with all of that nasty jelly stuff taken out from between the nice pork bit and the pie... I had to get all of the female backing mathmeticians (Doc G always had a lot of very lovely young girls in the ranks of show - I think about 3 of my ex wives have at one time or another worked on Teh Doc's shows) to skillfully cut around the top of the pies and gently take out the jelly... neadless to say we managed and the show was a great success - but ever since then I keep a supply of jelliless pork pies on me everywhere I go... which is a massive waste.
(, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)