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[challenge entry] have a pearost (of my own making) to shut some members up
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From the "Oh No" Moments From History challenge. See all 175 entries (closed)

(Mrt1977, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:46, archived)
# but
it's always colonel mustard!
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:47, archived)
# no,
ian used mustard as lube
(Mrt1977, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:47, archived)
# top class figging
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:52, archived)
# surely prof. plum, he's a darkie
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:51, archived)
# i'd put rev green above him,
it's always the ones you least expect.
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:53, archived)
# you're in offensive form tonight
did a black man steal your thunder or something?
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:54, archived)
# it's probably been dismantled and sold for parts by now
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:00, archived)
# by the pikeys, perhaps?
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:01, archived)
# just a thought, is there such a thing as a black b3tan?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:03, archived)
# I am 100% certain that there is
and I'm not about to reveal his or her identity either.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:05, archived)
# they're closet black?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:06, archived)
# they're quite interested in the kind of language people use
when they think nobody might object.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:12, archived)
# this is b3ta,
where you automatically assume no one will be offended by anything you say.
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:15, archived)
# there are fine lines
I highly appreciate the freedom of speech available on b3ta. I am intrigued as to why you use the kind of words you have this evening.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:17, archived)
# i said wog entirely in context of someone talking racistly in the gif above, completing their scentance
and use of the word darky up there ^ is entirely in an ironic way.

I don't notice this sort of "intrigue" into people making homophobic or paedophilic comments.
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:23, archived)
# it suppose it depends on my state of mind as to whether I can be bothered
and I tend to think of you as someone who isn't going to get defensive or annoyed by rational questioning.

I'm not being a race nazi (ha), I was just wondering what your rationale was.

And I suppose paedophilic comments aren't really as close to the bone as racist or homophobic comments are for me.

EDIT: Having just checked back, that gif had nothing racist in it at all. YOu just put your own ideas in.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:27, archived)
# i'm not at all offended
but I'll defend what i did fiercely before i make any sort of appology.

Just look at it as though I have as little interest in racism as I do in paedophilia or homophobia so I can comfortably joke about it.

And nazi race? My granny was a jew shipped out of germany by Schindler. (as in the one with the list in the spielburg film)
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:32, archived)
# as my great grandfather was in a concentration camp
and you surprise me even more by using objectifying terms like "wog" or "darkie", even ironically, if you appreciate that kind of irrational hatred that comes with a fear of unknown peoples.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:36, archived)
# In every possible sense of the words,
I'm off to bed, night
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:37, archived)
# night then
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:40, archived)
# and just for the sake of rounding things off
On a personal level, I just don't care either way about race, it's this polite middle class surrey upbringing, I find the idea of racism ludicrous enough to be acceptable irony.
I'd go into more waffle, but like i said, i'm off to bed. Night.
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:43, archived)
# I do hope
that he wasn't a guard
(aharrrr matey, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:52, archived)
# and as for the edit, she mentions "all those foreigners hanging around"
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:36, archived)
# that would be Xenophobia
not racism.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:38, archived)
# Which probably tells you
how racist language is more "taboo" than homophobic ones. I don't like either, but I've given up challenging the use of the word "gay" to mean bad* - it's much less "shocking", and so prevalent I can't be bothered any more.

* in the non-b3ta world, that is
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:28, archived)
# so those of us that can comfortably joke about it are a step ahead of the rest?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:33, archived)
# Yes -
- so long as you're aware of the wider effects of the term, and are using it in a situation [like b3ta] where it's understood by just about everyone who sees it that it *is* ironic.

It sounds shitty, but these things do matter to, say, some guys under my care who would be utterly devastated by an incorrect usage of the term.

[edited to make better sense]
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:35, archived)
# i'm not exactly going to wander around tooting screaming nigger now am i?
yes, i said offensive things on b3ta....oooh....contraversy
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:38, archived)
# that's what I was saying
which is why I put the * in about not complaining about b3tan usage :)

edit: yes, sorry, it was unclear. I meant to say that "I don't like either apart from on b3ta, but..."
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:39, archived)
# you promised not to tell anyone, cracker!
(I helped save b3ta! Purple Onion, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:08, archived)
# spacker!
;)
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:13, archived)
# wakka-wakka-wakka!
(I helped save b3ta! friendlyfire, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:39, archived)
# I know several lurkers of South Asian extraction.
but no posters :(
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:07, archived)
# Don't you mean Gurkhas?
Shirley they're the fellas of South Asian extraction.

/coat
(I helped save b3ta! friendlyfire, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:41, archived)
# I never understood cluedo
If you find out it was you and you declare it, you win, so why not just say it was you at the start, and with a confession the police will accept it was you and you win by default.

Also, what sort of detectives have to spend ages working out if the body was shot or clubbed with a lead pipe?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:49, archived)
# and
why are detectives playing board games in the first place, shouldnt they be out solving crimes????
(Mrt1977, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:51, archived)
# Detectives are as entitled to time off as everyone else.
I don't lock up loonies *all* day. Sometimes I just need to relax without someone telling me that Arthur Scargill has put a radio in their head :)
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:53, archived)
# poirot was a huge fan
of buckaroo.
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:54, archived)
# the sex game?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:55, archived)
# no, no,
buckaroo, not the Australian rural pastime.
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:56, archived)
# lol.
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:58, archived)
# i mean the one where you get on top of them and say
"this is how i do it with your sister" and see how long you can stay on for
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:58, archived)
# Miss Marple enjoyed
Kerplunk
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Strange Now Fully ISO 3103 Compliant!, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:56, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/5385145
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:57, archived)
# The murder weapon is the main piece of evidence in any successful murder trial.
/worked in a forensic lab
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:51, archived)
# yes, but isn't it usually obvious if the body's been shot?
/only did one year of foresnsics and chemistry
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:52, archived)
# Yes, but there are many different types of gun out there.
Proving that the gun the murderer had was the one that was used is half of the job.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:54, archived)
# whats the procedure when someone repeatedly confesses and refuses to accept any evidence to the contrary?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:55, archived)
# Psychiatric analysis
followed by a polygraph.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:56, archived)
# we all know colonel mustard learned to beat the box when he was with the SAS
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:57, archived)
# they're put in a mental home
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:56, archived)
# ^ this
although the term we use is "sectioned under the Mental Health Act 1984" :)
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:57, archived)
# Get him to sign the confession,
knock off early, and head down the pub?
(I helped save b3ta! Strawberry Dragon, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:57, archived)
# Only applicable
if he's Irish.

[/sadly not as topical as it once was]
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:59, archived)
# presumably
they cover how to spell 'forensics' in year 2...

/pedant
(I helped save b3ta! friendlyfire, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:48, archived)
# Yes, but surely most people can tell the difference between someone that's been beaten about the head with a metal pipe, and someone that's been shot?
For the purposes of the game.
(I helped save b3ta! gone, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:52, archived)
# i'm too quick for you m'dear
but thanks for the vote of confidence
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:54, archived)
# Swine!
(I helped save b3ta! gone, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:58, archived)
# Not if you were killed by being locked in a room with Metallica playing on loop through really powerful speakers
What a horrible way to go...
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:53, archived)
# True.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:55, archived)
# Yes, but
was it "Ride The Lightning" or "And Justice For All"?
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:55, archived)
# They are both the same song.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:56, archived)
# cluedo
is fucking shit.

(cos i don't know how to play)
(discodaz *generic witty comment*, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:56, archived)
# hahaha.
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:58, archived)
# That reminds me
of the time my GF, her brother and I all tried to play this GOD AWFUL game called "Catch Penny" based in 18th Century London. The idea is to be the first to save an entire pound! We gave up after about 20 minutes of frustration because NONE of us could work out the currency.

shop.store.yahoo.com/monticellostore/120157.html
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Wed 30 Nov 2005, 23:59, archived)
# "8 farthings = 1 penny.
3 penny = 1 threepenny bit.
4 threepenny bit = 1 shilling
2 and a half shillings = 1 half crown.
2 half crowns = 1 crown.
4 crowns = 1 pound.
110 pounds = 1 guinea.

The British resisted decimalization for years on the grounds it was too complicated."
[Douglas Adams :)]
(I helped save b3ta! Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:02, archived)
# COR!
That's bloody complicated!

Sort of...

well, putting it THAT way it kind of does make sense! Thankee!
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 0:09, archived)