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# In honour of the Chocolate Jesus
daughter of god


I was talking with someone about the Chocolate Jesus, and the other year how someone made Mary black
and other things that offend lily-white-Caucasian-Xtian-fundamentalist-freaks, thus making everyone else look bad.

While I do believe that when in Rome, one should do as the Romans, so if you mar a poster of the Thai King while in Thailand
and get locked up, tough shit, but I do not believe that things should ever be sacrosanct, and I will go screaming this at the top
of my lungs as they drag me to be burnt at the stake.

Anyway, imho, this is respect, not blasphemy, and anyway, blasphemy is just another word for: How dare you be insubordinate of the
power of 'insert religious organization here'?
(soldierofmisfortune I ain't broke but I am badly bent on, Sat 31 Mar 2007, 23:57, archived)
# words
all I can see is words
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Sat 31 Mar 2007, 23:57, archived)
# how do you mean
picture and link to larger picture not showing up?
(soldierofmisfortune I ain't broke but I am badly bent on, Sat 31 Mar 2007, 23:58, archived)
# don't worry.
all it says is they can reposess your house and wife if you're late on the repayments
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:00, archived)
# can the value of that image
go up as well as down?
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:02, archived)
# viewing this image
will not affect your statutory rights
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:08, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:00, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! nhojjohn, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:12, archived)
# i love that.
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:13, archived)
# hahaha
who is that? :D

/edit RC perhaps? :)

/EDIT2 Not Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor, I looked...
(parlicoot is warm, cuddly and drinking a nice cup of tea, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:14, archived)
# Cardinal Walter Kasper
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Kasper
(I helped save b3ta! nhojjohn, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:26, archived)
# Heh
would look good as a character on a Cluedo card:

Cardinal Brown, in The Attic, with the Holy Mace.
(parlicoot is warm, cuddly and drinking a nice cup of tea, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:32, archived)
# holy mace +2
i think you'll find.
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:34, archived)
# forgive my
ignorance.... Eh?
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:15, archived)
#
sorry, it wasn't a reply to your post. It sort of slipped in here coz I didn't think it was worth a new thread...
(I helped save b3ta! nhojjohn, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:18, archived)
# Hmm
I agree, but I find that generally the biggest fundies are the atheist fundies.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:01, archived)
# personally I couldn't give a fuck, as I am content to keep my myopic worldview to myself
until someone decides I live by their myopic worldview, because they know best for me because they are better than me by virtue of living by the only truth.

The universe is a big place, and I like chicken, and so does my cat.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:04, archived)
# YAY!
A religious debate!

*prepares ire*
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:35, archived)
# no they aren't.
not really.
they can get a bit stroppy, dawkins-style
but they're nothing compared to the most extreme christian/muslim/what-have-you preachers, surely?
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:04, archived)
# I feel it comes down to what you think will be the outcome to those that do not have your own beliefs
proclaiming the destiny of the damned is the ultimate presumption, and I doubt god is impressed :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:06, archived)
# Pastafarian?
(parlicoot is warm, cuddly and drinking a nice cup of tea, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:08, archived)
# nah
I just don't care ^_^

what is, is

Tho I'm sure his noodlyness knows the truth
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:10, archived)
# Of course he does
best of all deities.
(parlicoot is warm, cuddly and drinking a nice cup of tea, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:13, archived)
# fancy founding deagostinism?
easy beliefs, icons of worship and holy text already set up
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:14, archived)
# plus all the horses you could love
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:15, archived)
# Interspecies Erotica?
Count me in!
(I helped save b3ta! Aenesis, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:16, archived)
# yay!
all we need now is to convince everyone else to believe this shite and give us their money

and we've cracked it!

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:18, archived)
# just recuit at collages and unis
and in the suburbs
(soldierofmisfortune I ain't broke but I am badly bent on, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:31, archived)
# I'll get an army of volunteers
it'll be great :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:33, archived)
# i suggest
catherine the great as our first saint
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:34, archived)
# sounds good
we also need a pointless symbol

can't have an illogical and ultimately meaningless system of belief without some kind of pointless symbol
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:39, archived)
# pffft
the variety of tunes are a bit limited when singing and smiting the infidel.
(parlicoot is warm, cuddly and drinking a nice cup of tea, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:16, archived)
# and for today's service, we will be singing from hymn number...
1
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:21, archived)
# Shit
I thought that was a countdown then.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:36, archived)
# thank catherine for that!
numbers are hard
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:39, archived)
#
795
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:42, archived)
# i agree about atheist fundies
also anarchists

I don't really care if god or government is not someone's style, but if I would rather have a god and a government,
stupid arguments to the contrary, especially ones full of vitriol, will not make me see any light...

I suppose, I cannot stand evangelical anything's... yuck!

if pushed, I might admit to being xtian, but it would take a lot.. I think faith is like sex, it should be private, unless you want to go
to mass or to an orgy or something.. (same difference)

I remember once, while I lived in Australia, I was curious about some xtian youth group, so I agreed to go along just to observe.
It turned out to be the predictable touched by the spirit nonsense.. talking in languages, falling over, having seizures, whatever.. groping...
I mean laying of hands...

so at one point I threw up my hands, and started to yell and gesticulate in Finnish, knowing that the chances of anyone speaking it were remote...
I swore up a storm, and insulted everyone's heritage, and then discussed the weather, before moving on to hedonistic sex acts...

after, everyone was very impressed that I had been touched in the spirit

---

which is not to say people cant be touched in the spirit, but please, go somewhere else and don't do it around me, ack!
(soldierofmisfortune I ain't broke but I am badly bent on, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:18, archived)
# I agree wholeheartedly.
I am intrigued to know others' beliefs, but I do not want them impressed upon me.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:32, archived)
# Once, a traveler dropped a knife to the ground without noticing.
A man saw this happen, and ran up to the man and said "Master, you have dropped your knife!"

The traveller thanked the man and give him a small wooden horse as a token of thanks, with that he left on his journey.

The man held up the small wooden horse to the sunlight, "Stupid twat".

Arsepiss 3:12:16

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:01, archived)
# a lovely tale.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:03, archived)
# Can't wait for the mel gibson movie version
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:04, archived)
# truly inspirational
(I helped save b3ta! TheDiscoKing is the train station, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:11, archived)
# innit
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:12, archived)
# Christian translation: burn nonbelievers.
(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:16, archived)
# clearly it's symbolic
and it means he should have kept the knife and stabbed him

then sold the horse as a sex slave

it's obviously written that way!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:20, archived)
# send it to the pope and have him interpret it for everyone.
i bet it'll be just that.
(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:23, archived)
# but first I'll translate it into the original latin
I mean greek

I mean hebrew

I mean babylonian

I mean egyptian

I mean summarian

I'm sure nothing could possibly get confused along the way, I mean, clearly it's the word of god
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:27, archived)
# WORDS!
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:02, archived)
# Christ they hurt after a while
if you bother to read them

BASTARDS!
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:17, archived)
# I've had a Chinese and I'm drinking lager now.
What's your point?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:04, archived)
# that sounds bloody nice
I wish I'd just had a chinese and was drinking lager
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:06, archived)
# Discobeans!
'Ning sir! The Chinese lady who was working in the Chinese (unsurprisingly) was very beautiful. I shall be going back there.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:08, archived)
# oh, so that's what you meant
when you said you'd "had a chinese"
tsingtao, by any chance? it's the only one to have with a chinese
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:11, archived)
# Haha! I wish unfortunately :(
/will be popping back soon
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:15, archived)
# 'ning ^_^
that's one way to get the punters in "I'm pretty! buy my shit!"

works for me :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:11, archived)
# I had trouble ordering haha
I didn't know where to look ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:16, archived)
# awww
:D

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:22, archived)
# that's almost sweet
you should tell her that next time.
see how she reacts
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:45, archived)
# just had a smoked sausage supper after the pub
and now having a cup o' tea.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:09, archived)
# Sounds braw!
I fancy sausages later when I get peckish again.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:11, archived)
# I had a clutch of sausages earlier today
full slurp meal, was actually nice, and the lidl tinned tomatoes were actually good, from a tin... good!!

was impressed

probably full of mind altering drugs :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:12, archived)
# I hope so!
Nothing like getting monged off your tits on cheap Lidl veg ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:18, archived)
# man
I really know how to party, innit :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:23, archived)
# what is this anyway? "what i had for dinner in my summer holidays"
curry.
wine
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:12, archived)
# yes
what you had for dinner in your summer holidays as a small boy in 1920's surrey
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:13, archived)
# how dare you!
i've never been to surrey.
except for that job interview once. which i didn't get
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:15, archived)
# yes
sadly, without your knowledge, you were a small boy in 1920's surrey enjoying a dinner during summer for no apparent reason
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:17, archived)
# I've never visited 1920's Surrey
though I'd like to have dinner there some time. In summer of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:23, archived)
# I think we should all have a bash in 1920's surrey, in the summertime
it'll require the use of a time machine, heavily armed guards so as not to have the locals mess with us and of course a disclaimer will need to be signed due to the potential catastrophic destruction of every aspect of our existence

but it's worth it for a few pints and a snack, innit :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:29, archived)
# Cor!
I'm up for that. It's certainly worth it to have some sandwiches on 1920's grass and a bit of 1920's muff.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:33, archived)
# too right
if we dress up dapper we can meet a nice flapper slapper!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:35, archived)
# seconded.
note: you are not allowed any 1920s muff if you have ancestors from the area
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:39, archived)
# ahh
why worry

it's not like everyone uses all of their chromosomes correctly anyway
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:41, archived)
# I'd like to think so!
I might have a big poo later but I don't want to talk about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:20, archived)
# for dinner?!
you sick fucker
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:25, archived)
# No! I'll be the producer of that item
Someone else can eat it. It'll be on ebay this time tomorrow night.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:30, archived)
# Needs more.......
.
www.firebox.com/product/1542?src_t=sbk&src_id=toast
.
(I helped save b3ta! paranoiaman, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:10, archived)
# needs less cross.
/edit: after having read your essay explaining the picture, i will award you one 'woo.'
(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:10, archived)
#
Was it supposed to be ironic.

Either something to do with all we associate Easter with is chocolate

or the fact Jesus wasn't white

or just an excuse to make a chocolate cock.
(Woody999, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:15, archived)
# not into cock
but I think there should always be plenty of chocolate ones
(soldierofmisfortune I ain't broke but I am badly bent on, Sun 1 Apr 2007, 0:23, archived)