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# What were they thinking
I just happened to look at the back of a box of surf, which claimed to remove 99 stains, one of which was semen. Next to that was a picture of a bloke grabbing his crotch with the caption 'Oooh'. I am quite relieved to now that if i was to acciendently cum in my pants that surf could get rid of it.
(Ben Davis, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)
# that cant be right?
surely?

It never worked on my bedsheets.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)
# But black silk is
Notoriously hard to clean...

You slick bugger you...
(I helped save b3ta! gurningchimp, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)
# Quick Tip.
no matter what other people say, something extracted from the bottom of a worm is not a luxury item.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:09, archived)
# *throws
away jar of worms arses*

dammit, i was fooled by the expensive packaging.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# He's on to PVC one's now...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:09, archived)
# damned incontinence.
/self deprecation.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:11, archived)
# you'd think it'd wipe straight off rubber wouldn't you
[edit] buggers, b3tan
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# this one time,
I lost my keys, but then I found them again.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)
# phew.
*wipes brow*

(nearly)morning all by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)
# yeah
real nasty moment that was.

I think I might watch some telly tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)
# i'm going to
bob down the shops later. i might buy some lamb.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)
# It was quite nippy on my walk to work,
this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# could you pick me up some shampoo, please?
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# what do you want him to do with it after hes picked it up?
hmmmmmmmmm?
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:11, archived)
# aye, go on then.
i might get a paper and read it this afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:11, archived)
# I had lamb for dinner last night!
No, really - I did!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# jesus, funny
old world innit.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)
# About 2 months after my wedding I lost my
ring! I couldn't remember if I'd had it on before arriving at work. I'd had a massive poo (curry the night before...) and it was kind of loose anyway so logically I thought it'd fallen off and been flushed away... I even called out Bristol Water and had them check the drains at work for it.

Imagine my supprise when I found it under the bed a few months later...
(I helped save b3ta! gurningchimp, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)
# *imagines real hard*
"Ooh would you look at that, it was under the bed!"
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
popular that night when her indoors found out...
(I helped save b3ta! gurningchimp, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)
# And yes
Basically I am a twat...
(I helped save b3ta! gurningchimp, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# I take it that it fell off
while you were gropeing around for your jazz mags?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# Not too sure...
Possible, or maybe while I was greasing up the Anal Intruder [tm]
(I helped save b3ta! gurningchimp, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:28, archived)
# for real?
noooo
you're pulling my leg!
(I helped save b3ta! aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)
# you're less likely to get that
sort of stains if you only pull your leg
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)
# noone ever believes
me, u'll have to look for urself, i think they've stopped making now
(Ben Davis, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:09, archived)
# Personally I can't get the cum
stains off my ceiling.
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)
# Small room?
.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:09, archived)
# or poor gravity field?
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# no
bunk-bed
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)
# either that
or he is a sexual olympian.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:17, archived)
# from Wales?
I doubt that very much.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# twch din
pob saes.
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:23, archived)
# flob a dob
blib blob blib!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:25, archived)
# Surely you mean
LLLFFALLLFFFAALLLLFFFWWECH
(I helped save b3ta! D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:33, archived)
# good point
.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)
# That reminds me... Repost...
Not shopped, I just found step 3 a little confusing...
(Monty, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)
# they would be salty.
At a guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 23 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)