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[challenge entry] Captain Jack crossing the Delaware, by Emmanuel Leutze, 1850

(rather quick and dirty, one of those 'better out than in' moments, sorry)

From the Updating Art challenge. See all 746 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:29, archived)
# Nice one.
I saw POTC3 yesterday. It was OK. A bit rubbish in places and quite good in other places.

Blatantly left open for POTC4 though.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:33, archived)
# I hope not
They're running out of major characters.
Unless they make "Undead Monkey : The animated series".
And did it seem to you like they wrote the script as they went along, and the film editor was a bit drunk?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:36, archived)
# Stoned more like
The whole trippy bit out on the salt flats - weird!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
# I want a pet
Transformer-pebble-crab.

They're lully little critters.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:12, archived)
# well there's the whole Will Turner bit to progress which
changes the love triangle slightly
and plus, the fountain of youth!
it has a little more distance in the story left
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
# I think 1 more would be good
then it's a 1 a 2 and another 1.

Just as long as they make it under 2 hours, I'm tired of these arse numbing epics.
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:42, archived)
# says you, talking to a lanky bastad with a boney bum
:D
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:43, archived)
# Are you tall then? B3ta makes you sound 4'8"
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:46, archived)
# :D
i'm six two of bean pole in real life
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:54, archived)
# At least skip the 25 mins of trailers
And don't be persuaded to buy the litre of watery Pepsi on the way in.

Remember you'll be sitting for 3 hours watching lots of flowing water...
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:09, archived)
# i'd agree
i enjoyed it more than thought i would.
less action than i expected and it lost it's way a little but overall
some great scenes and some proper LOL moments!
i give it teh thumbs up
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:38, archived)
# I thought it was fantastic from start to finish
I don't understand why some people are saying it was confusing
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:41, archived)
# it wasn't confusing
just not a lot actually happened for a two and a half hour feature

they rescue jack, they sail, they have a fight
the end :)
but don't get me wrong
i really enjoyed it and i'm looking forward to the fourth installment
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:42, archived)
# Yes, but that's like saying
A midget with a ring walks off and drops it in a mountain to vanquish evil is all that happened in Lord of the Rings ;)
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:44, archived)
# i know
boring as shit, wasn't it
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:45, archived)
# don't get me started on that pile
of girly nonsense :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:47, archived)
# I felt that the whole thing was totally overdone
It seemed like they wrote a list of all the piratey type jokes / devices they could think of and used them all. And more.

The fight as they floated around the whirlpool was about five mins too long and there was so much going on that you got an assault on the senses.

Tia Dalma [SP?] was wasted in this too - she was so sexy in the last one.

5/10
(I helped save b3ta! enthusiastic amateur delurked at:, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:43, archived)
#
i like assaults on the senses :)
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:45, archived)
# hmm
*frying pan to inner ear*
*kick in the tastebuds*
*violent acidic urination to the eyes*
*verbal rebuke to the nostrils*
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:47, archived)
# *cums*
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:53, archived)
# That fight round the maelstrom
was easily the best bit in it!

and having Keith Richards play his dad was a nice touch.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
# as set pieces go, rocked hard
mind you it was jam packed full of ace stuff. The Gilliam/Munchausen-esque turning the sea upside down made me smile muchly.
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:50, archived)
# Yup
That was very cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:53, archived)
# I still think it should have happened straight away, for best effect.
rather than the protracted underwater bit.

Turn the boat over and plop! You're on the underside.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:02, archived)
# Keith Richards
should have had a bigger part. Definitely. Sitting and strumming the guitar was a genius touch.
(I helped save b3ta! enthusiastic amateur delurked at:, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:54, archived)
# I feared for him being a comedy cameo
but thought he did very well indeed
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:06, archived)
# Somehow, I doubt he was capable of much more...
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:10, archived)
# I have fallen
asleep two nights in a row trying to watch it.
It's been very confusing.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:54, archived)
# True. The ending was a bit plop.
There's a stay-till-after-the-credits-bit, which is OK. Bit ambiguous about how old she looks though.

I still think it should have ended with the end of the pirate lords and the baddies, but still leave the East India Company runnning the show, just to end the series on a bit of authenticity.

Instead, it's an obvious draw-out for more films in the franchise, like Spider Man 3 was.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:06, archived)
# Captain Jack Sparrow gives me teh gay
Johnny Depp on the other hand is a strange looking man.
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 29 May 2007, 11:34, archived)
# I was never in the 'Phwoar, Johnny Depp!' camp
...but I was pleasantly confused to find that Jack sparrow made me want to be a boy, so I could be gay for him, and wish I was a girl so he could be non-gay for me. And he didn't have a wife and happy family.
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 29 May 2007, 11:58, archived)
# ..
I think Will ruined the whole thing.

i could've happily sat through 3 hours of jack and his mindfuck shenannigans.
(Snailfighter Mk VIII MASTER of the bits underneath the ledges on fences, Tue 29 May 2007, 12:57, archived)