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# Yay!
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:05, archived)
# Isn't he dead yet?
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:10, archived)
# Fuck if I know how the Christians would define it.
I'd suggest 'as a doornail' would be a fair description.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:12, archived)
# that one is
not that it makes fuck all difference. They just found some other jerk off. I doubt there's a chance anyone of real sanity might take the position.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:29, archived)
# I'd take it!
I'd be a kick-ass Pope!
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:31, archived)
# This I would support
but I'm not sure they would give you the job, is what I'm saying.

But by all means hoax up some miracles, see if they say shit.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:37, archived)
# I'm a few steps ahead of you there.
I've been hospitalized for being suicidal recently, so not only do I have proof of being sufficiently nutty to lead the team, I have been virtually reincarnated already.

Plus I'm an ordained reverend, anyway.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:40, archived)
# don't do it.
i'm destined to stab the pope.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:49, archived)
# Fuck it.
I'll pardon you. You won't even go to hell, and you can still collect $200 if you pass 'Go'.

(Though I may have to take the knife from you and tap you on the forehead with the handle a few times first to let you know how disasterous this decision could have been.)
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:52, archived)
# i don't want to be pardoned, i want to kill the pope.
that's how i want to die: shot to death by the vatican guard while i stab the pope through the heart with a sharpened crucifix.

it's my destiny, man.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:55, archived)
# Well get on with it, then.
I'll wait 'till you finish off the current one, then I'll step in and resurrect you while making balloon animals or something to the delight of the peons.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:01, archived)
# i don't want to kill this one.
he's too obviously evil, it'll look like an inside job.

the balloon animals are a nice touch, though.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:04, archived)
# You could kill Al Gore?
He invented Catholicism.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:07, archived)
# i can kill anyone.
i have a toxic personality.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:09, archived)
# Really? And your whites practically sparkle!
However do you keep them so clean?
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:11, archived)
# i wash them in the tears of disappointed children.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:15, archived)
# They'll get used to their prayers not getting answered
once I'm in power. I'm going to get to work on my new rubber stamp:

 RETURN TO
V A T I C A N
   SENDER
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:19, archived)
# 'return to vatican' would be a great rubber stamp to have.
you'd confuse everyone at work and few letter carriers would refuse to deliver them even without stamps.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:24, archived)
# Why not be traditional?
Walk in with a bunch of lads, lop off his head, and take the lot.
It's how it worked in the old days.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:40, archived)
# I was going to try this, actually
but my lads kept drowning when we were trying to charge and storm their beaches from across the Atlantic.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:44, archived)
# *gives the monkey an axe*
hey you! how's things?
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:23, archived)
# Better, now that you're here, sweety.
How's tricks?
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:29, archived)
# ah, you flatterer.
everything is super cool here in fort stink, thanks.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:32, archived)
# I survived the topsy-turvy.
My arch enemy considered challenging me to a battle to the death, recently. I'm pretty sure one of us would have not survived.

But I'm getting some stuff together.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:37, archived)
# the next life will be better.
that's what i keep telling myself, anyway.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:40, archived)
# I'm not sure I get another one.
I didn't want to fill out the coupon.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:48, archived)
# haha!
i'll be having a free dvd.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:52, archived)
# It's a pretty decent show, actually.
(and I had to mail Jessie's to her in Derby)

My contribution
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:58, archived)
# it could be a coaster for all i care.
i just like supporting anti-religious causes.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:03, archived)
# Well, if they send you a coaster
I want you to send me a T-shirt that says "I took the blasphemy challenge, and I didn't get no fucking roller coaster"
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:05, archived)