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# tribute to our security guard at work:)
firmly on the ball at all times
(tavish Strongbow is my life, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:51, archived)
# looks like his hands are firmly on his balls
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:52, archived)
# ever see the billy connelly routine on why blokes sleep with their hands on their balls
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:55, archived)
# is it the one where he goes "BANG!" unexpectedly?
if so, then i've seen it
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:56, archived)
# I thought that was the blow job for the uninitiated
nah it was all about cavemen and wolves
and I can't find a youtube of it...:(
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:57, archived)
# ah, right, the blow job one.
i've seen most of his recent stuff. i couldn't hear it on youtube anyway, my speakers finally died the other day.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:58, archived)
# aw. are they going to be buried or cremated.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:02, archived)
# entombed with great solenity
within the mdf pyramid in the garden.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:07, archived)
# I wish I had a pyramid
it'd be cool

I could stand at the top, naked, smeared in vaseline screaming "COME ON GOD! COME ON YOU BITCH! WHAT YOU GOT!?"
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:16, archived)
# SHOW ME YOUR THUMBS, YOU BEAUTIFUL, ALIEN SONS OF MOTHERS!
SHOW ME YOUR THUMBS!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:19, archived)
# i refuse to be buried.
i refuse to be burned.
i will be entombed in a customised pyramid, or i will HAUNT EVERY FUCKING MEMBER OF MY FAMILY, UNTIL THEY GIVE IN TO MY DEMANDS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

'bye!
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:23, archived)
# Pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:03, archived)
# he's a bit more animated
than the ones I usually get sent when I need site guards.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:54, archived)
# I have already heard one indian guy refer to his prior security guard job as "a sleeping job"
one way to "work" 24 hours a day I guess
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:01, archived)
# i swear every security guard is cloned from the same template
he's a tattooed balding yorkshiremen
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:10, archived)
# wow
you're right, mind you i am in yorkshire so tis no suprise
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:11, archived)
# lol farts
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:55, archived)
# aww bless big Andy
we are currently putting still images of this on a4 sheets...around the yard...he keeps finding them on his patrols..and ripping em up..thinking about a nice blackmail plot..any suggestions?
(tavish Strongbow is my life, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:58, archived)
# write him a letter demanding money
see if he pays?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:02, archived)
# hand the picture to the person responsible for his employment
"Is this what passes for professional behavior? What will this do to our insurance? What the FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

then just wank in his face and scream a lot

the screaming is necessary
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:04, archived)
# crikey
does a little wee
(tavish Strongbow is my life, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:07, archived)
# yeah, I am a bit passive aggressive
sorry

*runs away and cries*
"big poo!"
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:11, archived)
# If someone did that to me
I'd sack *them*

And the security guard.

And everyone else too hahha hHa hAHAHqhHAAHAA!1!1
(Super Jet Shoes, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:13, archived)
# *wanks*
*screams*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)