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Home » Messageboard » Oliver Postgate » Message 9014956 (Thread)

[challenge entry] Don't quite know what I was trying here...


... well I do... but I don't think it works

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From the Oliver Postgate challenge. See all 135 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:56, archived)
# nice work sir
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:58, archived)
# I agree
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:01, archived)
# I think everyone's gone to lunch
and ta...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)
# I'm perpetually out to lunch
in the colloquial sense
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)
# you may be right there
come back!!! It's freezing out there!

I know - I've just been
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)
# I had to go out to Argos....
thirty people queueing... no one at the quick pay machine.
I was in and out in five minutes.

What is wrong with people?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:05, archived)
# They're stupid
And generally ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, archived)
# Sheep. If they see a queue they have to join it
They think it must be worthwhile.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:08, archived)
# I must admit, I'm quite fond of queuing :)
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, archived)
# Get back in line...
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Sheep!
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:14, archived)
# But that's one of their redeeming features.
/woolly buggers blog.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:15, archived)
# did you buy an Ericational Fumbustioner?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:10, archived)
# it all explainable by maths
i=1-(n/x)

i = intelligence of a person
n = number of people in a confined space
x = number of day until Christmas
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:10, archived)
# *plots graph*
It looks like a CDC...
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, archived)
# you forgot this line
i=1-(n/x)/y

where y is the lenght of thime in minutes remaining in your lunch break
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:13, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:14, archived)
# *plots 3 dimensional graph*
It looks like a saucepan...
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)
# *plots 4-dimensional graph*
My GOD! It's opened a hole in teh space/time continuum!
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:19, archived)
# GOATSE SCIENCE!!"!!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:20, archived)
# ... that's the kid who's earned the respect of his peers
through the medium of expressive dance
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)
# very nice
also - the board spazzed out of existence for a moment there... I was a little scared but I managed to get through it alright and now I'm back...

read the entire harrowing tale in my new celebrity hardback ... "I Fucked Wincy Willis with a Turtle - The Professor UnderCover Story: Part 1"
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)
# I like how your mind is a bit broken in places
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)
# This
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)
# I'm struggling to find the bits where it's not broken
but thanks...

*embraces like a brother*
*holds back tears*

... it means a lot to me
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)
# *films*
*fwaps*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:05, archived)
# *wipes dribble from your chin*
so special
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, archived)
# this
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:13, archived)
# Is it in WHSmiths 50% off hardbacks offer?
If not there's no sale
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)
# well - yes and no
... I managed to smuggle some copies into WH Smiths and leave them on the shelves... but as they don't know they're there I don't think it would technically be stealing if you took them without paying.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, archived)
# *giggles self unconscious*
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:11, archived)
# This is brilliant.
They get awful confused at the checkouts when stuff doesn't scan.

This would cause absolute carnage.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:13, archived)
# :D
next week's challenge: design a cover for a new Celebrity Hardback... have it printed professionally, and sneak into WH Smiths and put it over Alan Carr's new book.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)
# Oh my fucking christ YES!
that'd be a heap of fun.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:22, archived)
# *clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:26, archived)
# Excellent
Sorry to TJ, but WTF???

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7777086.stm

(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)
# whoops!
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)
# Just saw that on /links
Policing are calling it an attempted moider
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)
# I'm always doing that.
It's really annoying, and costs a fortune in towels.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, archived)
# I can't believe they don't test them backstage first
it's such an obvious way to try to kill someone
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:08, archived)
# That's jolly well done!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)
# Looks dandy to me:)
Fucking seagulls! I popped some cheese an my windowsill to keep cool when I went to my room to bake a potato.
Tatty bakes and I open my window to see two fucking searats dining out on my sodding cheddar on the roof opposite!

EDIT: Did he come into town to get some gingham for his wife?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:07, archived)
# A fucking seagull stole Mrs Raff's ice cream right out of her hand last summer.
bastard. If I see it again I'll cunt it squarely in the fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)
# Second time they've nicked something from me, or tried.
First time was in Bornemouth and one tried to nick my chips. I managed to react in time and stunned the lil shite with a left hook:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:17, archived)
# They broke into my house once and stole a DVD player
Fucking seagulls!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:21, archived)
# Yeah but you're talking about the Britpop band now fallen on hard times:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:24, archived)
# This is aces :D
Though it reminds me of my god-awful film studies days.
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Ah.
Didn't want to take any real GCSE's then?:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:11, archived)
# I think you'll find
it was an ADVANCED GNVQ.
And LOOK AT ME NOW!!! *cough*
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:15, archived)
# You've done so well
Could I have fries with that please?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)
# GNVQ in Film Studies???!!!!????
What next?

Bitter because I couldn't do Film Studies at Uni, cos it was full. Took a couple of units as free units and got my only A's in three years. FUCK YOU UNL!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:28, archived)
# You were lookey!
I had my GCSEs, A levels and degree chosen for me by my father!
Man that backfired on him:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)