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Gosh, I could never be an MP

I like free speech far too much.

Morning, poppet!

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:08, archived)

Hello Pickle! *waves*

You all good?

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:09, archived)

I am, I am.

Stretchy, smily tired. The office is quite warm, and it's just turning me into a cat.

How's my chap, then?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:10, archived)

Rounding off a fine cup of coffee.

and deciding which emails to ignore for the next few hours.

Then, it's lunch time, a little snooze in one of the conference rooms and deciding what to do for the rest of the day. Oh, and I've just bagged a gig to Barcelona in two weeks!
So, all in all, pretty good really.

Wanna come? That'd be a hoot :D

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:18, archived)

Hahaha, a pale Jew in Spain.

They'd love it. I'd be followed by packs of F1 fans wearing ringlets and shunning bacon.

You'll get to see all the Gaudi though (again, I take it). Luckyyyyyy.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)

It's a great town.

I love the huge covered food market on Las Ramblas. Awesome fish to be had there.

nom nom nom

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)

I just had a really strange pain right in my chest, on the left.

*worries*

You know when you have a bit of food trapped in your oesophagus? Like that except deeeep inside the left hand side of my chest. My heartbeat's quite slow, too. Hmm.

Probably nowt. Stop overreacting, Fae.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)

*cuddles and soothes in equal measure*

It's all fine, lovely.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

I get that a lot

my chiropractor says it's cos I spend hours sitting in front of a screen

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

Really? Oh thank God.

Sorry, my dad's got no end of heart problems so I'm always wary.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:30, archived)

I've got this picture now of you as a rather eccentric CEO of a wine and cigars company

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)

Oh, if only!

:D

Edit: I do like the 'eccentric' idea, though. Wouldn't be too much of a stretch to achieve that. ;-)

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:23, archived)

If you do ever decide to do this

remember you've already got a PA...

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)

If I ever win the lottery

I am setting up a company staffed entirely by b3tans

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:26, archived)

*sends CV*

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i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

I like this plan.

It would be excellent.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

Yes please yes please yes please.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

Are you my boss?

He calls it 'narcolepsy'. We call it 'being an alcoholic fat bloke'.

Not suggesting you are either of those things, of course. If I could get away with having a kip in a room at work (conference or otherwise) I'd jump at the chance.

Maybe not jump. Collapse.

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An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)

Well, I'm currently trying to lose some spare tire,

but the alcoholic bit is pretty much spot on.
Sadly. Ah well.

Who'd have thought a mid-life crisis would be so much fun, eh?

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

*big hug*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

We're all alcoholics more or less, though, aren't we?

I had my mid-life crisis at about 19. Which means I've only got about seven years of life left (assuming I've done it correctly).

And tires are fine. Go with them, I say. What would you rather be, fat, pissed up and happy or thin and a cunt LIKE WHAT I AM?

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An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

Tricky....

I shall pontificate on this conundrum over a glass (or two) of claret.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

Pah, that's not real alcoholism!

Me, I sneak Netto Gin into my beans when the walls aren't staring at me with their big, flat eyes of chipboard doom.

Or is that psychosis? I forget these things.

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An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

Big-Style Acid Flashbacks, by the sound of it.

;-)

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

Ha ha, probably too close to the truth to bear thinking about.

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An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:51, archived)

but Grunty surely you're only young

and people are having mid-life crises earlier nowadays

I read it in the People's Friend

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

Up there with Wikipedia on the reliability stakes, eh?
Child of the sixties, me...

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

I'm thinking of becoming an MP just to annoy people

But I can't find a party self-righteous or worthy enough.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:11, archived)

I'd get into trouble immediately.

I'd say something, everyone would have a tremendous flap and I'd tell them all to fuck off and find their own opinions instead of bitching about mine.

I mean REALLY. Does nobody have anything better to do? Kids are dying in the Sudan and the Gaza strip, and we're worried about the musings of one woman? Fuck. Ing. Hell.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:12, archived)

at least she didn't call anyone Sooty

that would be REALLY awful

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Dear gods!

Don't cross the streams!

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Yeah

because we all know how a yellow and black handpuppet is almost synonymous with nig-nog and raghead.

I've probably not got it and it's all terribly shocking.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

sooty, covered in soot.

i.e. Dark. It was a very common term in the Raj.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:18, archived)

Ah well. He doesn't seem bothered, does he?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:21, archived)

but that has nothing to do with the limp-wristed arseholes

who have nothing better to do than be offended on behalf of people who are not offended.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

That's my point.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

If he was called "nig-nog" and "raghead" and found it funny

then surely his opinion counts, rather than the opinion of hand-wringing middle-class twats whose only contact with other ethnicities involves complaining that their food isn't up to scratch. Am I right, my little kike darling, or am I right?

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)

As always...

Can't.... actually... think of any racist terms for Scots. Shit.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

"porage wog" seems to be a good one.

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

That, then.

Biiiiiiig one. Cold, too. Jumper... bastard.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)

are you just writing adjectives and nouns today?

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)

scarf cunt.

That's two nouns.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

hahaha

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

It is.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

It also looks like a wonderful insult that may have been directed at Tom Baker

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

Would work better in your voice than mine, though.

I sound like an idiot when I swear.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)

you don't

you sound like a St. Trinian's schoolgirl, bunking off school and spending the day smoking and trying out swearwords.

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)

Exactly

I'm doomed to an eternity sounding like a 14 year old trust funder.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:03, archived)

*wanks furiously*

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:08, archived)

If I ever do audiobooks, I'll send them to you.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:11, archived)

hahaha I've never heard that

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)

Sea Tramp gets the credit

though possibly Pasanonic was the coiner, though he probably nicked it off someone else.

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)

*steals*

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An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

Well precisely this.

I'd also try to swear on national tv as much as possible too.

And I'd use words like "spacker" as well.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Everyone should, imho

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:21, archived)