b3ta.com board

Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 9095226 (Thread)

oh well...

re-risification: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7828549.stm

Oh, and mind the seams.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:06, archived)

Gosh, I could never be an MP

I like free speech far too much.

Morning, poppet!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:08, archived)

Hello Pickle! *waves*

You all good?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:09, archived)

I am, I am.

Stretchy, smily tired. The office is quite warm, and it's just turning me into a cat.

How's my chap, then?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:10, archived)

Rounding off a fine cup of coffee.

and deciding which emails to ignore for the next few hours.

Then, it's lunch time, a little snooze in one of the conference rooms and deciding what to do for the rest of the day. Oh, and I've just bagged a gig to Barcelona in two weeks!
So, all in all, pretty good really.

Wanna come? That'd be a hoot :D

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:18, archived)

Hahaha, a pale Jew in Spain.

They'd love it. I'd be followed by packs of F1 fans wearing ringlets and shunning bacon.

You'll get to see all the Gaudi though (again, I take it). Luckyyyyyy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)

It's a great town.

I love the huge covered food market on Las Ramblas. Awesome fish to be had there.

nom nom nom

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)

I just had a really strange pain right in my chest, on the left.

*worries*

You know when you have a bit of food trapped in your oesophagus? Like that except deeeep inside the left hand side of my chest. My heartbeat's quite slow, too. Hmm.

Probably nowt. Stop overreacting, Fae.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)

*cuddles and soothes in equal measure*

It's all fine, lovely.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

I get that a lot

my chiropractor says it's cos I spend hours sitting in front of a screen

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

Really? Oh thank God.

Sorry, my dad's got no end of heart problems so I'm always wary.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:30, archived)

I've got this picture now of you as a rather eccentric CEO of a wine and cigars company

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)

Oh, if only!

:D

Edit: I do like the 'eccentric' idea, though. Wouldn't be too much of a stretch to achieve that. ;-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:23, archived)

If you do ever decide to do this

remember you've already got a PA...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)

If I ever win the lottery

I am setting up a company staffed entirely by b3tans

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:26, archived)

*sends CV*

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

I like this plan.

It would be excellent.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

Yes please yes please yes please.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

Are you my boss?

He calls it 'narcolepsy'. We call it 'being an alcoholic fat bloke'.

Not suggesting you are either of those things, of course. If I could get away with having a kip in a room at work (conference or otherwise) I'd jump at the chance.

Maybe not jump. Collapse.

(

An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)

Well, I'm currently trying to lose some spare tire,

but the alcoholic bit is pretty much spot on.
Sadly. Ah well.

Who'd have thought a mid-life crisis would be so much fun, eh?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

*big hug*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

We're all alcoholics more or less, though, aren't we?

I had my mid-life crisis at about 19. Which means I've only got about seven years of life left (assuming I've done it correctly).

And tires are fine. Go with them, I say. What would you rather be, fat, pissed up and happy or thin and a cunt LIKE WHAT I AM?

(

An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

Tricky....

I shall pontificate on this conundrum over a glass (or two) of claret.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

Pah, that's not real alcoholism!

Me, I sneak Netto Gin into my beans when the walls aren't staring at me with their big, flat eyes of chipboard doom.

Or is that psychosis? I forget these things.

(

An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

Big-Style Acid Flashbacks, by the sound of it.

;-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

Ha ha, probably too close to the truth to bear thinking about.

(

An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:51, archived)

but Grunty surely you're only young

and people are having mid-life crises earlier nowadays

I read it in the People's Friend

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

Up there with Wikipedia on the reliability stakes, eh?
Child of the sixties, me...

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

I'm thinking of becoming an MP just to annoy people

But I can't find a party self-righteous or worthy enough.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:11, archived)

I'd get into trouble immediately.

I'd say something, everyone would have a tremendous flap and I'd tell them all to fuck off and find their own opinions instead of bitching about mine.

I mean REALLY. Does nobody have anything better to do? Kids are dying in the Sudan and the Gaza strip, and we're worried about the musings of one woman? Fuck. Ing. Hell.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:12, archived)

at least she didn't call anyone Sooty

that would be REALLY awful

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Dear gods!

Don't cross the streams!

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Yeah

because we all know how a yellow and black handpuppet is almost synonymous with nig-nog and raghead.

I've probably not got it and it's all terribly shocking.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

sooty, covered in soot.

i.e. Dark. It was a very common term in the Raj.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:18, archived)

Ah well. He doesn't seem bothered, does he?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:21, archived)

but that has nothing to do with the limp-wristed arseholes

who have nothing better to do than be offended on behalf of people who are not offended.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

That's my point.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

If he was called "nig-nog" and "raghead" and found it funny

then surely his opinion counts, rather than the opinion of hand-wringing middle-class twats whose only contact with other ethnicities involves complaining that their food isn't up to scratch. Am I right, my little kike darling, or am I right?

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)

As always...

Can't.... actually... think of any racist terms for Scots. Shit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

"porage wog" seems to be a good one.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

That, then.

Biiiiiiig one. Cold, too. Jumper... bastard.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)

are you just writing adjectives and nouns today?

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)

scarf cunt.

That's two nouns.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

hahaha

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

It is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

It also looks like a wonderful insult that may have been directed at Tom Baker

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

Would work better in your voice than mine, though.

I sound like an idiot when I swear.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)

you don't

you sound like a St. Trinian's schoolgirl, bunking off school and spending the day smoking and trying out swearwords.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)

Exactly

I'm doomed to an eternity sounding like a 14 year old trust funder.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:03, archived)

*wanks furiously*

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:08, archived)

If I ever do audiobooks, I'll send them to you.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:11, archived)

hahaha I've never heard that

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)

Sea Tramp gets the credit

though possibly Pasanonic was the coiner, though he probably nicked it off someone else.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)

*steals*

(

An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

Well precisely this.

I'd also try to swear on national tv as much as possible too.

And I'd use words like "spacker" as well.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Everyone should, imho

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:21, archived)

who?

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:13, archived)

Arsemint Butty

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:14, archived)

arf

MPs out of touch? Not strictly telling the truth? I don't believe you.

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:13, archived)

Morning! *hug*

I think though all this wailing, gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands that goes on tends to fuel it more - and companies who wanted to downsize anyway are using it as an excuse to get rid of people.

I'm personally sick of hearing certain people complaining about others spending money and moaning, "Don't they know there is a credit crunch/recession on?".

ARGH

/This mildly uninformed outburst was brought to you by Mentos, the Freshmaker

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

"Yeah, don't make it any worse by spending"

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:16, archived)

Morning Lovely!

*hugs*

I just love the ineptitude of these feckers. Great spectator sport.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)

Is that Darth Vader's wife?

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

I may as well reply to this too

yes

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:18, archived)

Thanks, man.

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:19, archived)

the nukes are about to start flying in the middle east, thousands are losing their jobs,

people are losing their homes, and the polar ice caps are in their fastest retreat ever recorded, yet MPs' first priorty is to start pointing fingers and name calling all because someone said something that can be seen to bit a little "off"

I love modern politics.

edit: from that story, it looks like my local Zavvi is going. That's a bit of a sod, they had a good horror section - a bit better than HMV has.

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

I was watching PM's questions yesterday

what a limp farrago of debate

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:17, archived)

Simply the phrase "Limp Farrago"

has just made me giggle like a loon. For that I thank you sirah.

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)

I really can't watch anything like that anymore...

I hate the way anyone who is involved politics cannot answer questions properly.

- I've developed a low tolerance for arseclown-politians who generally behave as self-serving wankrag pricks.

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:24, archived)

she should have said

"I can see a few shoots of recovery and these shoots should not be referred to and/or discriminated against based on the colour of their leaves, and shall henceforth be referred to as "shoots of colour" or "chlorophyll-containing organisms of indeterminate origin""

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:17, archived)

oooh it's PC gone mad

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:17, archived)

I don't like her

she's a bad 'un. Still ignoring people's right to privacy and the European commision to allow BT to go ahead with using equipment that now intercepts every piece of data you send on the internet so that they can anylise it and decide what shit to advertise to you on the page you are still waiting for. (don't say adblock, adblock is a band-aid, it will not alter that fact that interception of communications without consent is against the law under RIPA and the computer misuse act and yet is being allowed to happen by this woman ).

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:17, archived)

I read this in El Reg today

fucking scary it is

I'm moving to Myanmar

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:18, archived)

I've spent over a year on this

and have spoken with a number of MPs and privacy advocates and the upshot is that yes, it's illegal and no, BT don't have to worry about that because they will be allowed to break that law for commercial gain. I hope te EU commission puts them out of business because they have been ignored by this government and they are gonna come down with the ban-hammer.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:21, archived)

Lucius Fox: You've turned every cellphone in Gotham into a microphone.
Batman: And a high-frequency generator-receiver.
Lucius Fox: You took my sonar concept and applied it to every phone in the city. With half the city feeding you sonar, you can image all of Gotham. This is wrong.
Batman: I've gotta find this man, Lucius.
Lucius Fox: At what cost?
Batman: The database is null-key encrypted. It can only be accessed by one person.
Lucius Fox: This is too much power for one person.
Batman: That's why I gave it to you. Only you can use it.
Lucius Fox: Spying on 30 million people isn't part of my job description.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:22, archived)

I believe I've spoken to this Mr Fox

in a call centre in Mumbai

(

Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:26, archived)

In a comically gruff voice?

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)

^ what that wise man said

*glances around to check how many CCTV cameras are watching*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)

all part of the slippery slope...

"How do we get this bunch of cunts to roll over and let us invade in every part of their personal lives that we don't agree with?"

"Tap all of their communications, sir."

"They won't go for that, we need to lube them up first."

"Put it in the Batman script?"

"Worth a try, I suppose."

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

I don't mind CCTV cameras.

I don't mind that I can be found by GPS in my phone, I would not mind identity cards or biometric fingerprinting because all of that would wipe out half our crime and make our borders tighter and safer. I like security.
I do mind the fact that people think that they have the right to introduce a business model that is tantamount to opening your mail to see what your interests are so that they can benefit financially and I have my privacy raped and my internet experience interrupted and corrupted.

Advertising companies are in deep shit, they realise that the only market left to them for significant gains id the internet. They are attempting to spread the falsehood that the internet needs paying for and that users have to accept that they can not have content without the advertisers pay for it.
Bollocks. If people want to stream high speed content to customers then let them pay for it or charge for it. If social networking is somehow costing the earth make people pay for it. Indeed if people do want content that costs then let them pay or charge to serve it because injecting adverts for cars into my webpage calls just because you know I was at the Fiat site last week is not going to do anything other than line the pockets of cunts in advertising.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

Errr, we're not *all* cunts.

That's a little sweeping, If I may make so bold.
And this idea that Ad companies are 'spreading the falsehood' about the payment model for the internet simply isn't true.
That's more at the door of shoddy ISPs (BT for instance).

Anyway, just saying.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

NO I DON'T WANT TO BUY ANYTHING THANK YOU

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

I'll fight you until your eyes bleed on this.

Because you are wrong. The targeted advertising model is being whored around the world by many a firm and content is the carrot.
BT are not pushing this much at all. In fact BT are saying very little on the matter and censoring those that do. BT want it all to go away so they can continue it in calm and quiet.

You look at any firm working in the online advertising sector. Any single one of them that has comment on behavioural advertising is claiming that the internet cannot supply the content that the consumer 'demands' ( no studies as usual ) without advertisers pay for it. Most of us don't need or want it so a better model is make the people that want it pay for it, leave the rest of us alone and fuck the vile, blood-sucking, parasitical leeching advertising cunts right in the back bottom.

For the 8 hours a day you spend in your office finding ways to steal money from people you are a cunt. After that I'd take you for a beer all day and talk about 3d modelling ;)

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

I'm so glad you're not at all strident about this.

But, don't worry - it's ok to be wrong. I won't tell.

I love the simple-minded argument that says Advertising 'steals' money from people.

You, me - every fucker buys stuff, there's no gun to anyone's head. If you're (not you personally) too weak-minded as to be influenced into spending money on something you don't need, then - you know what - you get no sympathy here, sonny. Spend away.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:04, archived)

Don't get me wrong.

It's not actually the advertising leeches that I have issue with. It's the fact that this model ( layer 7 deep packet inspection ) is illegal under at least 5 separate areas of UK and EU law. It will be devastating to webmasters who are told they have given implied consent for anyone to harvest their copyrighted data so that visitors to their sites can later be served adverts for their competitors.
I've not seen an advert on the net in over 3 years and nobody has to but that is of little solace if people are allowed to intercept my communication for nothing other than financial gain which has no benefit to me. If I want to make a purchase I'll research it and still see no adverts. There is no need for my ISP or any advertiser to have any involvement in this other than my ISP doing what it is contractually obliged to do by providing gateway services.
There are legal ways to do this, they must use an opt-in only model and gain written consent from the publishers of all data that they harvest and that means both me and the content provider. This is what the law demands today but is being ignored because after all, opt-in is the death of any advertising model.

The upshot of it is that nobody, not even my ISP should be allowed to make a financial gain from my data. BT's model allows for opt-out ( despite EU commission rulings that anything of this nature must be opt in ) yet that does not change the fact that your data is still intercepted, parsed and then discarded when it knows you have opted out. The interception has already happened and the law has been broken.
Nobody in their right mind, whatever their job should support that. Until the law is changed you can't allow people to break it just because nobody gets killed and everyone except the consumer wins.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:17, archived)

On that, sir, I take little issue.

I was merely trying to point out that whilst the ad industry certainly has it's more disreputable individuals, that does not necessarily apply to all of us.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:20, archived)

I know.

but it would not be me if I did not call anyone a cunt.

I've avoided mentioning them but Phorm are the UK culprits and I can be nothing but pleased that I had a small part to play in their world last year. A world that saw them lose 85% of their value and most of their cash holdings without ever realising the smash and grab, big money takeover that Kent Ertugrul must have been betting on ( he's done it with every other startup he's masterminded in the last 20 years ).

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:25, archived)

all I get is ads for anal speculums.

I can't understand it.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

www.dirtboxstainless.com

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:48, archived)

ah, right

that partly explains it.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

I hope she mixed that fertiliser with the existing soil

or that's going to ruin her tomato crop!

(

Joliet, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)

Hahahaha...

Mornin sir! :D *clicks*

(

Ninj, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)

Morning, sir!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

Nice bucket.

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:30, archived)

pffft.... dozy cow

ningles fella!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

Ningles, young sir!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)

Young?

I love you

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

You're rather fab yourself, sir

If I may say...

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)