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# Your Questions for Dave Gorman
Right. Dave has just emailed me and agreed to be interviewed. Can you people PLEASE submit some more questions? (I'm really excited about this community interview thing.)

We have so far:

Daddy or chips?
(Nacho)

has he had any cool animals named Dave Gorman?
(AndyK)

What's it like being married to theresa gorman?
(TheWife)

What has he just sat on?
(PeterSeychelles)

how often his food goes down the wrong pipe.
(monkeon)

ask him what time Eastenders is on tonight. I can't remember.
(AndyK)
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:04, archived)
# My Question:
What is your most embarrasing sexual experience?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:09, archived)
# Q`s for Dave Gorman
Is Danny Wallace as fickle and dodgy (Harry Potter DVD`s for £5 which were recorded in the local Odean style dodgy) as he looks?
(tylrdiablos, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:12, archived)
# do you?
Dave, do you have a DAVE GORMAN cup?(You what i mean, the cheesey one`s for old people/people with no social life, i have 2)
(tylrdiablos, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:14, archived)
# i think we should say...
Dave, the Herald said of you:
"Astounding: Fringe innovation ain’t dead."

Do you consider your fringe innovative then?

And have you ever had long hair?
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:15, archived)
# ask him
if he shaved one of his sideburns slightly wrong - would he try and match the other one to it or would he leave an unbsymetrical head.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:16, archived)
# and did he really get a tattoo
when he was pissed and what was it of and where is it?
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:17, archived)
# ermm...
- how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
- Are you worried by the amount of nutters you've met. And did they all come from the internet?
- I've got the book. When can I get the video?
- Are you the new Tony Hawks?
- Why were you on at the University Union at Leeds every other week when I was a student there?
- Have you found any other Danny Wallaces yet?
- Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:18, archived)
# Will he be
the photoshop this / wear this judge every week forever and will he make us an internet clock that works and dances on the hour.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:26, archived)
# I want to know
who are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:31, archived)
# is that a metaphysical or biographical
question?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:35, archived)
# Both
also what are you made of?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:38, archived)
# and is that a metaphysical or meerly physical
question?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:41, archived)
# Both
also where are you.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:51, archived)
# WTF!!!!!!
How did you get in my house?
(tylrdiablos, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:34, archived)
# ask
what is the craziest thing you have ever eaten for cash?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:38, archived)
# AHHH!
In YOUR opinion, which came the first, the chicken or the egg?
(tylrdiablos, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:39, archived)
# favourite joke:
Chicken and Egg - in bed. The Chicken sparks up a cigarette, and the Egg says, "I guess that settles the question of who came first."
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:42, archived)
# I'd like to know
If you've ever mashed stuff through a sieve to get the lumps out of it, and what was it?
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:43, archived)
# favourite biscuit?
.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:44, archived)
# Of course
Silly me.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:38, archived)
# Is this what you look like before make-up?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:45, archived)
# Tell us your favourite joke
I love this question. It's my favourite from The Guardian.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:46, archived)
# Here's mine:
How do you tittilate an ocelot? ... Oscillate its titsalot.
(Ernest Thesiger, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 8:58, archived)
# ask
every other question about his eyes and hair until you scare him off.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:47, archived)
# what is it
about his eyes?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:48, archived)
# they aren't human
see above for before he puts his contacts in.

I think the whole 'dave gorman' thing is like the Terminator. Someone called 'dave gorman' does something really good in the future (invents tea that doesn't stew or something) and has to be eliminated now.
Doing this within the structure of a comedy stand-up act is all part of his deep cover.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:10, archived)
# Or maybe they do something really bad
After all, there's only a fine line between stand up comedy and an international manhunt.

Hence George Bush as president.

Maybe Dave can answer this conundrum.

(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:24, archived)
# have you ever bought
a rose off one of those guys in leicester square? Do you know someone who has?
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:49, archived)
# Ask him
If a tree falls down in an empty forest would he try and find all the other trees that had fallen down in empty forests.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:58, archived)
# First record bought
(an oldie but a goodie - always intrigues me particularly as mine was so bad).
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:58, archived)
# what was yours then?
.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:01, archived)
# I don't know if I should say in
such a public forum...
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:03, archived)
# BTW: all these questions are GREAT
I'll see whether anymore turn up in the day - and I'll email him this evening.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:05, archived)
# Q's for Dave Gorman
Do the BBC take ages to pay you as well..?

from Ix the Wiz
(Ix the Wiz, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:24, archived)
# of course you should!
Hell, the worst that can happen is that we track you down in real life, follow you round incessantly pointing and laughing until you go insane and are forced to leave the country.
Tell us!
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:23, archived)
# aaaaagh.
OK...
Well my first single I bought was Jive Bunny.
I'll get me coat.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:27, archived)
# we'll be right
over... watch yer back.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:37, archived)
# I knew
I shouldn't have let that slip.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:39, archived)
# Ask him if
he like this anagram of his name......Nomad grave
(I helped save b3ta! Ted, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:37, archived)
# what about
made ov gran?
go, damn rave!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 8:34, archived)
# who would win?
a silver back gorilla v's a grizzly bear, in the wrestling ring...
(poohpot, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:24, archived)
# Did he know
that there's a product which allows him to list all the Dave Gormans who are registered to vote in the UK & their addresses? Could have saved him a lot of time...

www.qas.com/uk/products/nametracer.asp
(Bob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:41, archived)
# How about ...
What's your favourite website? (apart from b3ta)

and

Do you believe in doppelgangers (cos I've met two of mine) and would they be called Namrog Evad.
PS. The Universe completely failed to explode when I touched either of my doppelgangers - I was really disappointed
(illiter8 tw@, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:52, archived)
# are
indoor toilets unnatural?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 6:07, archived)
# what would you rather pay to see...
All fights to the death:

Monkey Vs Monkey, Dwarf Vs Dwarf or Monkey Vs Dwarf?
(Sul, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 7:52, archived)
# ask also
if you could go back in time and bully yourself at school, what nicknames would you use?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 7:55, archived)
# good
question.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 8:49, archived)
# heres 3
favourite member of the monkees

favourite character in happy days

does he eat vegetables that end in 'nip'?
(agnes o daffodil de montgomery, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 8:03, archived)
# my question...
Have you met a Norman Gorman who's job is being a Foreman?

Also do you think rhyming is big/clever/funny?
(Esteban, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 8:07, archived)
# Or
Dave Gorman the Doorman?
(tylrdiablos, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 19:05, archived)
# Does he constantly do searches for his name on Google?
Just in case a new Dave Gorman has set up shop?
(David, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 9:18, archived)
# Questions for Dave Gorman
Do you plan a follow up show?
Perhaps search for people with something else in common with you?
Perhaps a shared date of birth (year included). :)
(Captain Chickenpants, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 9:59, archived)
# people who look like him
would be creepy
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 10:04, archived)
# Neighbours(again)
Sorry. Put it on the main board by mistake. Again: Know anything about the Neighbours character Dave Gorman?
(ewmy, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 11:04, archived)
# Cuttie Williams, The Man, The Machine
Cuttie asks

"As Luton's biggest soul sensation, can I 'keep on
loving you'?

And will you take me for a ride on your magic
roundabout?

And if you've got time, whats your favourite type of
cheese."

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 5 Dec 2001, 2:25, archived)
# Gormanzolla
Do you have a rock drummer name-sake? I am apparently the drummer in the Soft Parade and my brother in Oasis AND Yes.
(tomwhite, Wed 5 Dec 2001, 17:42, archived)