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# Ooops
(daio, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
# Mum?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
# I had sex with her
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
# Not with my mum you ain't.
She'd break you.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
# *addendum*
in
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
# *addendum*
to pieces
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
# *addendum*
of eight
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
# *addendum*
or more
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)
# Your mum sounds like a formidable woman
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
# She is.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
# She blacked up?
;)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
# LEAVE SUSAN ALONE!

(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
# COOOOOOWWWWWWEEELLLL!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
# KlingonLolZ
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
# Good lord
She's a looker and no mistake.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
# ahahahaha
had me proper office lolling
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
# "The needs of the media, outweigh the needs of the few, or the one".
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
# "I have been, and always will be, your publicist"
I'm surprised Max Clifford hasn't got involved yet, actually.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
# he has, he was talking yesterday on Radio 2 about her
There's still time for him to approach her.
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
# Doesn't he have his hands full with Kerry "loony tunes" Katona?
I'm sure even Max Clifford has a freak limit
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
# Max Clifford is one of the few who will gladly suffer fools... For a price
/The next Price being Katie, obviously
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
# Arf!


(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING HELL AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
# haha!
(gtfomh, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
# pfft
People in the office are now staring at me
(arnold sideways, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)
# Im sure she was in that Antartic thing too...
(I helped save b3ta! w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)
# holy shit!...
...now that i would watch!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)
# Genius!
best chop I've seen in ages. I'm crying here.
(Her Ghost, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)
# FECK!
How fucking rude! I just got a sales call from Google for advertising. I asked in what regards as we have booking sites we go through and that pretty much keeps us full as we're a small business.
The then just hung up on me!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
# did you tell them to read the FAQ?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
# better than that!
I shouted tilda FAQ tilda down the phone.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
# Who the fuck do they think they are?
cunts
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
# google:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
# Never heard of them!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
# They make boggle for dyslexics.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)
# call them back and hang up on them
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
# That's because people that cold-call about advertising are a rude pain in the arse.
Yes, I am looking at you Yell.com
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
# If it's any consolation
The moment I garner it's a sales call I just hang up.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
# If they call again
pretend to be a mahoosive international conglomerate, get as far as giving them an order for thousands of pounds worth of advertising and then hang up on them.

When they call back, desperate to get the sale, you go back to being a small business and have no recollection of such an order.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
# We like to play telephone tennis with sales calls.
It goes like this:

1. Pick up call and realise it's a crappy sales call
2. Tell them that yes, your company is VERY interested in what they have to sell, but that they need to speak to someone else, and of course you'd be happy to transfer them.
3. Put them on hold and inform your office mates that you've got a player
4. Leave them on hold for as long as you think you can get away with, perhaps 1 or 2 minutes
5. Transfer them to someone else whose job it is to answer the phone saying that they are from some bizarre department; 'hello, boiler room' etc, the weirder the better
6. Colleague then says that the call must have been transferred incorrenctly and that they would be happy to put them through.
7. Go to step 4
8. Game ends when the caller hangs up.

Record so far is 15 minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
# I used to have a link to a alternative telesales script you can use actually
was really funny.

I dunno what I did with it though.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
# Father Jack just needed a cuddle
Is it really worth downloading a 206mb video clip, just to cut out a 30 second clip out of it to make a 40 sec clip
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
# I think you already know the answer to that one, chap.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
# It will make some people laugh
Anyone who hates Newcastle united
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
# YES IT IS
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
# 'shopped pics only, please
:D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
# TJ:
GAH! FUCKWIT ALERT! Twats in my office order a laptop but don't want to spend the extra pence to get the installation CDs to go with it. What if the laptop gets fucked when you take it home and allow your 18 month old to shit on it? How, in the name of Satan's foetid ringpiece, am I supposed to reinstall? Fucked if I'm spending ages trawling t'internet for it!

/end rant

Nice Jacking going on there
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
# I think your mistake was allowing your 18 month old to shit on it.
laptop is not potty.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
# I weed in the umbrella thing once
and my grandparents didn't know until we got all the way home and I told my mum.

I was very young, this wasn't last week.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
# Good on you for owning up
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
# I was PROUD.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)
# I don't have an 18 month old to shit on it
but the salesman does and it's his laptop that has no reinstallation CDs. Recalling the number of times I had to fix his last laptop, not getting these CDs is EPIC fucking FAIL!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
# Any install disc will work - as long as the poop didn't obscure the registration code on the lappy.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
# We have none. Zero. Zip.
Nothing with which to reinstall, or do anything with, Vista. His is the only laptop with it on.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
# Ah bugger. Is there no hidden recovery partition on the hdd?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
# No system recovery partition or 'owt?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
# I've got the SRP
but that's just recovery. It not something that will allow you to frig around with the Vista installation
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
# Have you tried looking at the system logs?
ROFLMFAODOGS!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
# PMSLWFKOWROFL!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)