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Home » Messageboard » MOCK THE POLITICIANS AND WIN A LAPTOP » Message 9638101 (Thread)

[challenge entry] Even I'm too young to get this...

From the MOCK THE POLITICIANS AND WIN A LAPTOP challenge. See all 522 entries (closed)

(pineapple_juice, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:08, archived)
# dekion? oh, wait, it's not him
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:09, archived)
# i think mediocre would have something to say about that
he's the greatest dutch of all time, i know because he told me
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:09, archived)
# apparently william of orange was second
followed by some Tulips who's price would never go down only up
(pineapple_juice, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:13, archived)
# Ok, to clear up the confusion
dutch, holland, netherlands and nederlands are all different places. IN BELGIUM LOL.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:16, archived)
# Collectively known as the lol countries.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:18, archived)
# Benelolx
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:30, archived)
# This is very true. Please see below for one of literally some reasons!
On 8th July 2003, The Dutch Inventor Mediocre invented the Internets.
"A lot of people think that it is older than that, but I just spread that rumour so that I wouldn't get arrested by all of the record companies for letting everyone steal their musics and shit!" said the crazy forrin.

"I invented the Internets so that I had somewhere to get to everyone in the world with my mind controlling lettuces with handles without arousing too much suspicion. SOON YOU WILL ALL BE MINE!" said the Dyke building, Celery Fondling (as shown in this picture) Batshit crazy Frisian.

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:43, archived)
# Only the Dutch
could invent internets
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:45, archived)
# And other things....
In 1986, The Dutch Inventor Mediocre got a job at Nasa.

"I had been watching Button Moon on my Telly box and that Mr Spoon was really getting on my nerves, the freakish little nutter!"

"So I built this rocket ship out of some old fruitellas and a cigar case and went up there. Turns out that they aren't real, and all I found in space was loads of fucking Clangers and Bucky O'Hare. I was well pissed off. Which is why I turned Bucky green, and ripped out those little Clanger bastards voiceboxes, replacing them with the thistle whistles I had nicked Angus and Elspeth in Scotland the week before!" the demented Edam molesting Clog hopper said.

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:55, archived)
# You see,
The Dutch invented space too!
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:01, archived)
# No, that's just silly.
I can't be arsed searching back for all of my "The Dutch Inventor Mediocre" posts.

Search yourself, www.b3ta.com/search/board?q=The+Dutch+Inventor+Mediocre
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:03, archived)
# i have celery in my fridge
should i post a guard?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:48, archived)
# Probably.
I suspect that The Dutch Inventor Mediocre is currently on a stealth mission to somewhere, hence his lack of appearance the last couple of days....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:53, archived)
# damn that crazy dutch celery molester!
if i find him in my salad crisper, i shall be most vexed!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:54, archived)
# Dip it in blue food dye if you're really worried.
It won't affect the flavour at all, however, what a lot of people don't know, is that The Dutch Inventor Mediocre is unable to see the colour blue due to an extremely unfortunate radish picking incident.

In fact, if he sees someone riding a blue bicycle, he actually thinks they are floating.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:56, archived)
# i shall do this immediately.
i used to enjoy adding blue food colouring to mashed potato. people would think i was eating some astonishing new foodstuff.
however, making instant mash with chicken soup instead of hot water went very badly wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:03, archived)
# Ha, you fucking nutter :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:06, archived)
# i enjoy experimenting with food
only to eat it, not for sex purposes.
that'd just be weird.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:09, archived)
#
weird a waste.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:11, archived)
# that too
if i see a juicy mango, i want to eat it, not attempt to pleasure myself with it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:13, archived)
# You should meet Jimmy Mango.
What a guy!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:35, archived)
# Doesn't sound to bad to be honest, Islam needs to seriously grow up
Except when you point at the Nazi over here that isn't white, you instead get accused of being one

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:13, archived)
# :)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAvuxLf80Jo
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:15, archived)
# ?
Being a liberal for the sake of being a liberal rather defeats the point mate.

It's a lovely jelly fish, but there are an awful lot of people into Islam who hold down very nasty beliefs. It's apparently acceptable to point out fingers at the BNP and cry 'wankers' but not them. Is it because they are non-Anglo-Saxon? Loads of these people harbor simply disgusting views on women etc
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:25, archived)
# tell us more about their views on etc
i for one am very concerned about etcetera
(I helped save b3ta! OneOfSome, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:28, archived)
# they're very good at stoning etc
for wearing trousers etc
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:36, archived)
# it's odd that
some of the nicest, most moderate Muslims I know still have really odd views on women
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:38, archived)
# Same here to be honest, and I have largely nothing against Muslims as a faith as a whole
just seems odd when you point out elements of it as simply abhorrent, as in anything in life, people shit their pants, as if they are suddenly classified as Daily Mail readers. A grim state of affairs; or simply liberal cowardice



(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:52, archived)
# haha yeah
oh god we mustn't offend the Muslims - let's have a go at the Christians, they're fair game
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:58, archived)
# For the sake of being liberal!
Terrible shit goes on all over the world, it's not just the Islamic countries that have nutters.
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:42, archived)
# That is exactly the predictable and meaningless response I knew was coming
and entirely why i've pushed my neck out in a hope to get beyond, but there you go
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:55, archived)
# Crikey!
arrogant too.
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:27, archived)
# Sadly real on this
"arrogant too." I wonder why ;)


(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:46, archived)
# I no longer understand what either of you are saying.
What exactly are the main points you both are making? Is it that the other person is a cockmuncher.

asciifaceofbob, how do you feel about the statement "Westboro Baptist Church seriously needs to grow up", or is that not equivalent since Islam as a whole is much larger than a tiny American sect consisting of one family, but then would you deny that Islam has a distinctive culture which tends to respect those who attack gays, women, science and jews more than many another culture does?

Perhaps that should be "a distinctive culture within it" given that Islam is very big and somewhat varied and often clashing with itself. Then again the misogynistic, gay-punishing aspect of it does appear to be the mainstream, at least among authority figures in many Islamic countries (probably there are one or two completely benign countries with prevalent Islamic-styled religion, in Africa maybe). Then again trying to define what the mainstream of anything is is, well, it's pretty subjective, although you can be sure there is one.

And then of course when I say "benign countries" I really mean "benign authorities", and the influential people in a country are one thing and the general masses are another, see: Iran. Having said that, they are all aspects of the same culture, although it's hard to say where the culture ends or even which culture it is (it could be the culture of the country, or the religion). If a culture can be described, it can be criticised, regardless of the fact that people are masters of their own destiny and not bound to follow whatever we imagine their culture tells them to think. The part where any individual person is ascribed to the culture, in the sense of being culpable for all the bad ideas we see in it, is unfair. Despite this, it's fair play to identify and criticise the culture as a set of ideas.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:54, archived)
# Erm.
Islam, like any religion or belief system, is what the believer makes of it.
What they make of it is largely determined by environmental experiences, family, and societal influences.

I have a lot of Muslim friends, and for a large part they are the most compassionate, progressive people I know. Some of them are more conservative or have what I would consider odd views- but because of who they are as people, not because of their religion...

Islam isn't the problem, Christianity isn't the problem, Atheism isn't the problem.
People are the problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:55, archived)
# This hard^^^^
I'm a Christian, but that doesn't mean I am a Creationist.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:58, archived)
# I'm with you on that one
well said..
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 23:31, archived)
# only after you get killed
and then your party will fall apart in a few weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:19, archived)
# Anti-religion = good
Anti-religion that is sexist, homophobic and intollerent = very good.

edit: oh I missed your point
(Peter_G, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:32, archived)
# citizens' what?
(gtfomh, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 22:33, archived)