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[challenge entry] ...

From the Modernise the Bible challenge. See all 404 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:11, archived)
# Pffft.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:15, archived)
# hahahaha
you're on fucking fire
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:16, archived)
# Wasn't even an apple in the original manuscript
How'd ya like THEM apples?
But in other news, you know the little chip inside electronics that makes them fail just after the warranty expires? They didn't set it properly on one of my HDDs and it failed after 3 years past manufacturing but not 3 years past purchase. So it's still under warranty. Hurrah!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:16, archived)
# yay
was it a cumquat or something? I was vaguely aware that it may not have been an apple originally. But, why worry about facts?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:18, archived)
# It was a carton of Ribena.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:21, archived)
# Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge
I bet it was a pineapple. Filthy, perverted fruits, they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:22, archived)
# It might have been a cucumber
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:24, archived)
# It was just and unspecified fruit.
Coulda been an apple.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:26, archived)
# Lettuce

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:27, archived)
# perhaps "unspecified fruit"
was a metaphor for "cunt"
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:29, archived)
# Are you a theologian, sir?
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:30, archived)
# aren't we all these days?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:32, archived)
# Or a homosexual.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:30, archived)
# In ancient Hebrew from at least one stage
Pomegranate was used for cunt (if you've ever seen a properly ripe pomegranate it has slightly more resemblance than the ones you see in shops, as they split open on the tree), but I don't know if the hebrew's from the same era. (Song of Songs/Song of Solomon - Shir HaShirim, if you're wondering.)

Greek marriage rites included a quince, much like an apple, then again much not. So that was a bit of a love fruit to them.

Though it's just the fruit of the tree of knowledge, a metaphor about the loss of innocence, realising you're naked, having to perform labour to survive and realising you want all the sexy.

Though yes, your fruit = cunt thing is surprisingly close.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:42, archived)
# You're a pomegranate.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:42, archived)
# Racist!
Pomegranates are lovely people.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:45, archived)
# I know, I was complimenting you.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:51, archived)
# (I know) :D
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:50, archived)
# Aw, darn
I woulda loved the idea of someone going "hurhur, fruit cunt" and the pure euphoria when their b3ta dreams are realised. Well, at least as a team we've educated a few more b3tans. Maybe we could nominate it for the next image challenge, High Fructose Fornication.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:52, archived)
# Yeah, but that doesn't bring back all your data..
I worked out the other day I have broken 1.5 TB of storage during my life. I have a stack of 7 dead hard drives sat on my shelf. Thinking of turning the platters into coasters or something.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:20, archived)
# Fortunately I kept most of it backed up
On an external HDD.

(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:23, archived)
# That is far too sensible.
I really am a disaster with hard drives. At one point I got so fed up with losing all my data that I built an indestructible fan cooled external drive enclosure.
Sadly the combination of wooden case and polystyrene cushioning proved to be highly flammable.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:28, archived)
# hahahahahahha!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:19, archived)
# What about grapes?...
...Are you kidding me?
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:27, archived)