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Home » Messageboard » Unlikely Company Mergers » Message 9889224 (Thread)

[challenge entry] Cadburys + Kraft + Nestlé =

From the Unlikely Company Mergers challenge. See all 319 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! badg3r :: what are you insinuating, you equity ponce? last considered changing his board sig on, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:01, archived)
# I GET THIS JOKE!
and it is a good one! Nicely!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:05, archived)
# Us Brummies are a tad unhappy about the whole thing.
Being a bunch of sentimental cunts as we are.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:09, archived)
# Did somebody say car industry?
(not having a pop at Brummies, just thinking of past 'mergers')
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:12, archived)
# There's pretty much nothing left now.
Jaguar's a joke.

Dunlop aircraft tyres get stuck between the teeth.

Pukka pies are a) a vile disgrace, and b) not even made here any more.

Depressing. Makes me want to tell a Scouser joke, if anyone's up for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:16, archived)
# Pfft!
I laugh of course because you only now realise you're a joke ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:22, archived)
# It's as if the world's suddenly turned upside-down.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:25, archived)
# Do it.
But be warned that there are Scousers everywhere and they all love Liverpool. Which begs the question, why don't they stay there?
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:34, archived)
# 96 Liverpool fans suddenly turn up at the Pearly Gates, all at once.
"Can we come in like, la'?"

St Peter sez: "Oh. There's quite a lot of you here all at once. Look, I'll nip upstairs and ask the boss about how we'll deal with this. Make yourselves comfortable, back in a minute."

A few minutes later, St Peter comes back downstairs, sandals a-flappin'.

"OK gents, the boss says tha - hang on a sec, where are the fucking gates?"
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:43, archived)
# Arf!
(Thought I'd get it in before the obligatory indignant Scouser)
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:52, archived)
# Hillsborough joke?
Topical AND tasteful there.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:52, archived)
# Yep.
After 13/18/27/whatever years, it's time.

For heavens' sake, IVV, allow me to let rip on someone sometimes.

You accused me of being Boris Johnson the last time I tried to get someone to make me tell that gag.

I told it to a Scouse girl in a pub a couple of years ago. She waited right 'til the end, let me get through the entire thing, and then said: "My cousin died at Hillsborough."

I said: "Liar."

She said: "You didn't know that."

I said: "Yes I did."
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:00, archived)
# You told it to a Scouse girl?
That made me giggle. Did you pull?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:04, archived)
# She gave me a kiss at the end of the night.
But I admit to the disgraceful weakness of not being attracted to women five stone heavier than me.

Besides, she nicked my sodding watch.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:06, archived)
# LOL
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:14, archived)
# Does this mean you're not attracted to me?
:(((((((
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:32, archived)
# There are so many ahead of me in the queue...
I wandered off and had a go at the coconut shy instead.

Still, I've won you a cuddly rabbit.

(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:46, archived)
# US Brummies
(IHaveTheRightToArmBears, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:17, archived)
# Oh no you di'nt!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:21, archived)
# He's a Merkin
He was just capitalising the name of his country.
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:42, archived)
# I don't.
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:24, archived)
# Yes you do!
You're a mercan innit! The 100 grand bar, is now labelled as the 11.5 billion bar because Kraft have bought Cadbury for 11.5 billion innit!

LOL! KEKEKEKE! ^_^ KEKEKEKEKE!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:26, archived)
# I get it.
Ooooh, now I get it.
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:32, archived)
# To be fair,
it is almost serendipitous that I get it. I was putting in my order for Peanut Butter M&M's to a friend earlier and stumbled across a page about the 100 grand bar :)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:40, archived)
# High five!
Also now I want peanut butter M&Ms more than aaaanything.
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:42, archived)
# They are the best thing ever!
Why the fuck they aren't readily available over here I have no idea! Fucking shitty peanut and crispy M&Ms :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:53, archived)
# Discrimination, that's why.
If only your sig was JD instead of PhD we could sue...
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:55, archived)
# Fucking shitty Ph.D. :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:40, archived)
# Or it could just be the falling value of the dollar.
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:32, archived)
# Very unlikely what with it being teh exact same amount that
Kraft bought Cadbury for.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:40, archived)
# I can explain the joke if you want.
I'm used to having to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:49, archived)
# Go ahead,
explain the joke to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:53, archived)
# I said that I can
I didn't say I would.
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:58, archived)
# (Psssst! Look, we don't want to discourage a dood, but we've all posted unfunny pics on here before, haven't we?)
Haven't we?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:27, archived)
# Oh yeah,
all the ones I've ever posted are. Redsushi's explanation is exactly right.
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:29, archived)
# OH, HELLO.
 

 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:29, archived)
# Hey I remember that.
There's an action I don't know how to type, but I keep doing it in my living room as if it'll magically get conveyed through this message. Sort of a head nod but up not down thing...
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:29, archived)
# it goes it goes it goes it goes.. it just goes.
 
stinking humid summer here but at least no earthquakes eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:42, archived)
# Silver lining
on the humidity that permeates your existence.
Humidity's kind of like a cloud... just play along.
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:44, archived)
# A CLOUD OF STINK
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:57, archived)
# That's a stoat and a butterfly.
;)
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:30, archived)
# This is a stoat!


There is only, at any given time, one stoat in the world. TRUFAX!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:55, archived)
# Hmmmmm
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:06, archived)
# ahhhhahhhhahhhahhhahhhhah
 
I remember just enough maths to find that funny
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:07, archived)
# It was from the maths compo over Christmas.

(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 1:15, archived)
# FUCK YEAH!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 0:31, archived)