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[challenge entry] for iFatties

From the The iPad challenge. See all 368 entries (closed)

(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 1:39, archived)
# mmmaking me hungry
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 1:41, archived)
# if I could I would punch that right down his minging throat
 
AND THEN I WOULD STAMP ON ALL THE BISCUITS
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 1:57, archived)
# :o
those poor innocent biscuits!
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:14, archived)
# fuckbiscuits.gif
 

 
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:17, archived)
# FILTH!

(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:19, archived)
# followed in short order by a whimpering jamnog
licking the crumbs up off the floor
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:15, archived)
# THERE COULD BE A GIN IN IT FOR YOU
 
OR THREE
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:15, archived)
# I am eating Whisky while drinking grapes.
Or the other way round, I forget. Too many grapes, I suppose.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:19, archived)
# gin is in every thing
it surrounds us and binds us...

you mean it can control our actions?

partly yes but it also smells like lacquer
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:21, archived)
# Click for bigger on posts that really don't need it annoys me.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:00, archived)
# I think the b3ta host does that automatically, unless you decide to edit your post
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:06, archived)
# i agree wholeheartedly
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:07, archived)
# b3ta done it, not me
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:10, archived)
# True.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:20, archived)
# I
Spang
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:25, archived)
# Oh, don't click that link, by the way, as it leads to a certain horse appreciation song.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:26, archived)
# *Clicks harder*
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:28, archived)
#
Dated 12/03/2008
Chef Andrew Foster, 27, from Consett, County Durham, who has a lifelong fear of food which means he is unable to taste his own meals, and has to survive on a diet of biscuits instead.
See story North News
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:07, archived)
# wow, what a fuckwit
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:11, archived)
# it's clearly his parents' fault
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/7292858.stm

I can't help but wonder, had they perhaps administered more fatal beatings when he was younger, whether he would have this problem now..
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:14, archived)
# hmm he doesnt look very scared of food
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:14, archived)
# yeah I got food "issues" but you don't see me going on the telly claiming to be addicted to cigarettes and beer
 
..shit
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:15, archived)
# mmm beer
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:18, archived)
# heh
I've got all three!

2:18am and I'm still struggling with a breakfast of poppadoms, pissed and smoking a roll-up.

GP appointment tomorrow. Urgent, apparently. She's gonna tell me to stop drinking and smoking.

"Isn't it enough that I packed in slitting GPs' throats?" I might tell her, in a jocular way.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:21, archived)
# that should do the trick
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:24, archived)
# If she's a doctor, she probably drinks and smokes, too. Say "I'll stop when you do, Doc" :)
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:25, archived)
# It ain't easy.
She's young, beautiful and enthusiastic. She winks, touches my arm gently and calls me 'luv', or by my first name.
How on earth does one deal with a GP like that?
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:33, archived)
# Yeah I had that with a medical, where both the nurse and the doctor were 20-30 yr old hotties.
I somehow managed not to be embarrassed by the whole "testicular exam" talk, where she used the rubber bulb of the stethoscope as a demonstration aid...

What about "but smoking and drinking can be really fun!" ?
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:37, archived)
# HELLO LADIES, HERE ARE MY BALLS
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:42, archived)
# There's the correct approach.
How could I have been so blind? I'm doing this tomorrow.
Look out, receptionists! You've got a good and unexpected weekend in store...
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:51, archived)
# The medical definition of an alcoholic
is anyone who drinks more than their doctor.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 2:40, archived)