
I'm pretending I've just bought the fatastic Solar Clamp Light. In fact I'm stuck in a small room somewhere in China (no idea where, there's no windows). It would be a useful item if I was allowed out to pee... the bulb blew in our outhouse two months ago.
Please help. Send food. Or lightbulbs.
[mod edit: spammer banned, link changed, post may have been edited]
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 8:52, Reply)

( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I bought that product and can I just say to EVERYBODY reading - DO NOT BUY THIS.
As soon as I got it home it raped my mother and kid brother. Then when I tried to send it back to the manufacturer it raped me too. I am writing this on my HTC Desire from the basement as he has us locked in.
SEND HELP
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

and a fox ate my kids.
Does not recommend.
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)

( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

unfortunately it looks like all your "ENGLAND GAMES ON ITV = ENGLAND DO NOT WIN" theory was right!!!
Goddamn!!
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I seen this on sky sports news, they were going on about ITV never showing a winning england world cup game.
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

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( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

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worst. product. ever.
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

The upside is we can be really positive now it's not on ITV anymore.
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

it couldn't even rape me
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:41, Reply)

and I was relying on the fantastic solar clamp light to guide me back to the dropship. But the c*nt failed me and I was cocooned with the others. Dave the chestburster says hi.
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Oh hang on, our nukes are solar clamp light powered, doh!
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

the lamp leaked some kind of acid on to my father as he slept causing blindness in his eye region.
My mother was troubled by traumatic visions whenever the lamp was switched on.
DO NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT IT'S SHIT
7/10 would buy from again
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

as a way of sabotaging their sales, because this makes me want to never buy this product.
In fact there's a strong chance that if you spammed an ad for air, I'd stop breathing just to fuck with you.
( , Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)