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This is a link post What horrible things people did to their penises in 2024
Wince worthy
 (I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 14:37, Reply)
This is a normal post Glad to report that they have nothing about my penis in there.

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 15:16, Reply)
This is a normal post I'll take your word for it.
Genital mangling stories always make me queasy.
 (I helped save b3ta! brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 20:21, Reply)
This is a normal post 'PUT HIS WEDDING RING AROUND THE SHAFT OF HIS PENIS. NOW HE CAN NOT GET IT OFF."
Big fingers or slim cock?
 (I helped save b3ta! rjmrjm, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 17:00, Reply)
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I was wondering about the CD. Like... How?
 (I helped save b3ta! evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 18:59, Reply)
This is a normal post Which

(I helped save b3ta! wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 2 Jan 2025, 9:05, Reply)
This is a normal post Or a very slack ring.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 1 Jan 2025, 20:05, Reply)
This is a normal post Big fingers or slim cock?
Wasn't that one of Monkeon's flash games back in the day?
 (Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 22:44, Reply)
This is a normal post What point was to be proven?
- And what were the findings?
 (I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 17:46, Reply)
This is a normal post I wanked into the Brasso cloth once.
My nob swole up like a particularly angry butternut squash. It was fucking awful. The first time I should have probably called an ambulance but didn't out of shame.

The second time was when I almost choked to death on a carrot stick.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 19:34, Reply)
This is a normal post Impressive
*buys Brasso and novocaine*
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 1 Jan 2025, 20:11, Reply)
This is a normal post So many questions...
"WAS CLEANING HEDGEHOG'S CAGE AND BEGAN EXPERIENCING TESTICLE PAIN"

WTF?!
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 1 Jan 2025, 20:15, Reply)
This is a normal post TRIPPED OVER LARGE DOG AND SMALL DOG STEPPED ON TESTICLES
That’s teamwork
 (I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 20:32, Reply)
This is a normal post
WAS MASTURBATING BY TUGGING ON THE SCROTUM WITH STEEL WIRE RESULTING IN LACERATION

I think that’s probably just an innocent misunderstanding regarding the use of cheese wire.
 (I helped save b3ta! wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 20:45, Reply)
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Kudos to those who admit they were masturbating.
 (I helped save b3ta! Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Wed 1 Jan 2025, 22:28, Reply)
This is a normal post
Including the guy who was, and I quote: "MASTURBATING WHEN HE FELL OFF THE BED WHILE MASTURBATING".
 (I helped save b3ta! evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 2 Jan 2025, 0:49, Reply)
This is a normal post Apologies if I've told this story before.
One day I was helping a friend with his Triumph car. It still didn't have a body on it and was on axle stands while I did some welding on the chassis. I was sitting cross-legged on the ground so I could see what I was doing without having to bend over.

I wasn't wearing a leather apron that day.

When I was back home I went to take a shower. When I undressed I noticed a hole in the front of my trousers. And another in the back of my trousers. And a matching pair of holes in my boxers. A little ball of molten steel had flown off without my noticing and missed by an inch a part of my body where no man wants molten anything.

b3tans, if you do any welding, remember that the apron is just as important as the helmet.
 (I helped save b3ta! jonbob loves you, Thu 2 Jan 2025, 3:10, Reply)