Not long out of uni and off with my boyfriend on out first holiday together..
We were more culturally inclined than sunworshippers, and poor with it, so we were quite pleased to find a nice cheap deal for the boat across to Belgium for a few days of beer and architecture.

Two days in and it was clear, most certainly in the case of my other half, that beer was winning the day. And night. And well into the next morning. We'd done (fucking) Bruges on the first day as it was just up the road from the city we were staying in and had kinda ticked 'culture' off the list. So beer it was. After getting rather 'tanked up' on the local paint stripper my previously mild mannered boyfriend became rather, er, sexually suggestive. Now whether this was a previously unaired peccadilo or whether he'd always meant to bring it up, I have no idea, but it went well beyond the realms of what I personally would consider normal. Or even a turn on. Or hygienic.

Safe to say, my shock was clear for him to see and he fled into the Belgian night with a mix of drunkrage and embarrassment. I returned to our hotel room for a lie down and a wind down to await his return (his pissed state would aid rather than hinder his return so I wasn't worried). A few hours later he returned with a look of shame in his face and confession on his lips. He'd apparently wandered off into a particular 'area' of the city which, fortuitously for him, could provide the very needs he now knew would NOT be forthcoming from his girlfriend. So with a heavy heart and a lightened wallet he told me the whole story. I was kinda in love with the freaky pervert, so I forgave him and we spent the rest of the holiday pretty much sober.

There are many things I'll do for my boyfriend and many I wont, but at least he knows that if I wont do it a Ghent whore will.
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:20, 38 replies)

Christ almighty.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:25, closed)

...jesus.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:27, closed)

Where did the post from Dr. Shambolic go?
If he deletes it does that mean he doesn't mean it?
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:38, closed)

I deleted the wrong one. Soz.
I haven't deleted my click though. Hope that's some consolation.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:44, closed)

Thanks Doc!

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:47, closed)

by wrong one
You mean the one where you were pretending to be reminiscing about a trip to the lake district in the 60s.

Where did that one go?
( rofl harris, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:28, closed)

that wasn't me
on account of not being born in the 1960s

edit: howd up ... that one is still there
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:58, closed)

Ooooh
My first 2.0ing ... that I know of.
( rofl harris, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:38, closed)

terrible online bullying

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:34, closed)

Sooooooooooooo..
What did he want to do? *whistles nonchalantly*
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:00, closed)

Bagpiping.

( gone, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:24, closed)

Cleveland Steamer

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:40, closed)

the David Blaine

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:23, closed)

Meatloafing.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 18:08, closed)

I was about to suggest that he wanted to lope his pony over the back forty
but then I spied the pun.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 2:48, closed)

Dirty Sanchez

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 8:08, closed)

peck on the cheek

( Zuowan, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:12, closed)

Hold hands.
Filthy pervert.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:47, closed)

More people ought to have this sort of tolerant attitude.
Have a click.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:00, closed)

May angry hornets feast on your tattered entrails.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:20, closed)

Oh, very good.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:26, closed)

For small values of both "very" and "good".

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:51, closed)

needless to say you stopped sex as he probaly caught a case

( PooPants, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:44, closed)

Well played, here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:52, closed)

Hang on a minute.
Is this a pun, by any chance?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:49, closed)

Missed it on first read.
There is class written all over this post.

Clever and wankable. I predict a win.
(justin(e), Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:00, closed)

Aha, I've got it now.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:01, closed)

Oh fucking hell.
Kudos to the OP for hiding that so well!
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 18:28, closed)

Up the bum?

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:00, closed)

No harm done

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 8:09, closed)

Took me a while...
... but click
(Bosch balls, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 21:30, closed)

^What bitch tits said^

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 10:23, closed)

Ayyyeeeeeeeee

(McChinaman banned, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 22:55, closed)