Well, they haven't actually attacked YET but it can only be a matter of time...
I'm being stalked by ladybirds. They're clearly besotted with me as a result of my campaigning for the male ones to be called blokeychaps and have decided that we must be together.

All through the winter there have been ladybirds around. Just one or two, but regularly appearing when I don't expect it. Cooking a meal? There's one on the wall, high above the cooker. Brushing my teeth? There's one near the tap. Getting dressed? Oh look, one on the windowsill. Aren't they supposed to die over winter? These didn't. I even found one in the car once... maybe it's always the same few, I don't know.

Last night I found a dead one in the bathroom, and noticed that the spots on its back made a heart shape. I can only assume that this means things have taken a turn for the sinister, so now I'm watching my back; as soon as they realise that I'm not interested in creating the world's first Kennybird with them I'm doomed.

Remember - when my cold lifeless body is found covered only in a shiny red and black chitinous substance, you read it here first.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:15, 7 replies)

As your flatmate
and sometime wench I can exclusively confirm this as true.

I found another one near the playstation this morning, it obviously clicked onto a location where it could be close to you for a greater portion of time ;)

It's been nice knowing you mate.

Can I save over your Need for Speed career-route file when you're gone?
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:23, closed)

I have hundreds of the buggers following me around, too.
Especially irritating as I have one of those paper globe lamp shades, and they enjoy getting stuck inside it and rattling around.

Are they Harlequin ladybirds, by any chance?
( benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:24, closed)

Blokeychaps!
Why has no one thought of this earlier.
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:28, closed)

benryves:
It may well be, just had a brief look at that site and it describes the ladybirds that have been staking out here...but they don't look any different to the ladybirds I saw growing up either so it could just as easily be a native breed, shirley?

I just asked one whether it was a Harelquin and it ignored me. That's not conclusive either though, I don't think they like me much so wouldn't necessarily talk to me anyway.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:33, closed)

You are not alone ...
I have been drowning about 1 a day in the shower. For the first week I thought I was being stalked by the Rambo of all lady birds - until I started keeping the carcases and not washing them down the drain.

And thank you for letting me know I am not alone.
(Biff..., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 16:03, closed)

Blokeychaps
Yes, that IS the name. i shall call them all this in future until I have evidence to the contrary
( seeballs Doo da da doo da da doo da da doo, da da doo da do, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 17:17, closed)

I once had a ladybug infestation
at my old house, the one my ex wife still inhabits. They were getting in through an improperly installed kitchen vent and crawling out through the light fixture in the ceiling. During the warm weather I kept finding the little fuckers on the doors and windows, and in the morning I would always find a couple of dead ones in yesterday's coffee.

Ultimately I repaired the vent, which resolved the problem, although I believe they still like that back wall of the house...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 21:59, closed)