Last?
Eh! sorry.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:09, 43 replies)

I'm going to get it AGAIN this week..
Hah
( TY&GN, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:16, closed)

Damn
I wanted to be last this week. Oh well, better go and have another wank instead.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:24, closed)

It's a bit early for this isn't it?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)

I'd forgotten all about 4pm on a Wednesday!
I was too busy holding my head in my hands and crying over my marking.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:30, closed)

chickenlady, for shame
And you working at home in the nuddie too.

I may just be imagining the nuddie part
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:31, closed)

@ Al
Sorry to burst your bubble
*pop*
But I'm in jeans, t-shirt and a little red jacket with a white fury collar - the ones my 'friends' say makes me look like a slutty Santa.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:33, closed)

Lies!
It's all lies!

*puts fingers in ears*

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

mind you, slutty santa eh?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:34, closed)

@al
I read that second 'nuddie' as 'maddie'.

I forgot about 4pm too! What were we doing that was so important?

Ditto on the slutty santa, I imagined a cartoon 'ba-doing!' when I read that.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:36, closed)

^^ Slutty Santa
Fond memories.
Xmas 2001 - stockroom of charity shop where my ex worked. She dressed as slutty santa.

*Hhhmmm*
*Adjusts trousers*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:40, closed)

I have some lovely 'friends'
One fine chap often refers to me as 'The Crack Whore' - affectionately mind.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:43, closed)

Affectionate crack whores are my favourite
After the ones that stand on my balls.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:45, closed)

Presumably you take them to Chester Zoo with you
Go and see the thread about monkey world.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:46, closed)

*fingers bum*
*eats poo*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:49, closed)

Well
that killed this thread.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:04, closed)

*finger bum and eats poo*
*just to prove chickenlady wrong*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:07, closed)

Oh dear god...you're all doing it now
*Puts on overalls, snaps on rubber elbow-length gauntlets


Right
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:10, closed)

Dearsweetmotherofmary
That may be the sexiest thing I've ever seen on b3ta...
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:11, closed)

No this is the sexiest thing ever on B3ta

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:16, closed)

*asplodes from a spluff overload*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:19, closed)

It has nearly the same effect on me
But I won't go into details, but let's just say the lolminge won't stick on afterwards.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:20, closed)

Wholly unsticky lolminges, Batman!
The doc has just signed me off for 2 more weeks. I'm going fishing. That's supposed to be relaxing.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:23, closed)

I
Think that I would just get incredibly annoyed if I went fishing. Bet the fish wouldn't bite just to annoy me...

But then again, I got annoyed at a door earlier. Stupid lack of sleep.

It also took four attempts to type this.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:26, closed)

I've never been fishing before
but a nice bloke invited me, plus I like eating fish. As should you, you're a penguin.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:26, closed)

Hooray for fishing!
Women are supposedly very good anglers - their natural calmness attracts the little fishes.

Just don't try catching them with balls of bread and cream cheese. It doesn't work as bait. Neither does McCowan's Highland Toffee.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:29, closed)

^
That's what nice bloke said about women fishing, though he claimed it was female hormones on the bait or something. I'm thinking: secluded riverbank, sunny day, gurgling river, cold beer, hot guy, fish for tea.

Edit: this does involve poaching from the local landed gentry though, which adds an illicit thrill to the proceedings.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:31, closed)

Why
Would you try and use cheese and bread to catch fish?

Just use your beak like the rest of us.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:31, closed)

I'm jealous
You both have beaks. I just have a crack.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:32, closed)

McCowan's Highland Toffee?
FUCK YEAH!


I haven't got any teeth left now though.

*EDIT* Cheerios everyone!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:33, closed)

@ CHCB
Yes, I think you're right. I'm only kidding myself when I say that we have a natural calmness.

@PoD
How do you type then? With your beak?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:33, closed)

@ Bert
Bye bye monkey!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:36, closed)

Hmm
I feel I may not have thought the typing thing through properly. Lets go with typing with the beak. That seems to work.

*waves*

Bye Bert!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:36, closed)

cheerio
simian sex-fiend.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:37, closed)

PoD
Doesn't it give you a headache? All that pounding your head backwards and forwards?




*EDIT* And the typing
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:37, closed)

Hmm cont.
Continues to think that he hasn't though this through fully. Hmm.

Lets go instead with that I have one of those cool things that reads your pupil movement and translates it into words.

Yes, eyes.

I actually did bang my head off a wall quite a lot earlier.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:41, closed)

PoD
But only one eye at a time...as yours are on the side of your head.


You really haven't thought this one through have you?

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:44, closed)

No
No I have not.

Would you care to come up with a suitable solution for me?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:47, closed)

You're really a monkey
(opposable thumbs you see), simply dressed up as a penguin.


*EDIT* I have just realised the flaw in that solution....you'll become the victim to the Albert Kaol Trio of Monkeygoateers.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:48, closed)

Truly Efficient Fishing
Involves a judicious amount of High Explosives.

And a net.

Then take the rest of the afternoon off.


(Don't use too much or your fish will be not only minced, but pre-cooked and thinly coated over the surrounding countryside).


(And policemen come)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:49, closed)

Noooo
I don't want to be a monkey, it will only result in getting attacked by several people around here.

I am in fact 100% penguin.

That's what you have to work with.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:50, closed)

Osok
Sounds like you're speaking from personal experience....


PoD - I shall consider this one. I'm inclined to think maybe (if you're unwilling to become simian) that perhaps you could have wing/fingers like the penguin in the Aardman films.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:52, closed)

Oooo
Now there be a good idea.

Fingers on the ends of my wings. Now there's a good solution.

Mmmm, wings.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:54, closed)

*whistles innocently*
Who me?

Honest, M'Lud, I would never dream of such a beastly and heinious act in any way.

I'll stick to blowing up chicken-imprisoning fences and freeing my poor brethren....



...damn.

Quack.

PPLF* - the struggle goes on.



*Paltry Poultry Liberation Front. Not to be confused with the Poorly Poultry LF, the Pottery Poultry LF, or the Paramilitary Poultry LF (Officials). Splitters.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:59, closed)

Right, I'm back again, who missed me?
Babe, I'm back again,
Babe, where have you been...?

I'll tell you where I've been, up to London to see the Queen.

*mixes it up rudeboy style*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 9:56, closed)